sudden death of husband at 46 years of age
still_in_shock
16 years ago
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petaloid
16 years agoalisande
16 years agoRelated Discussions
Viburnum Sudden Death
Comments (11)You are quite welcome - and there is so much more to know about one of my favorite genera. The conversation here is the classroom. And your commentary about recent weather events in your plants' lives has offered a lesson in relatively unobservable but possibly causal issues... The damage wrought by snow loads and ice storm accumulations on plants that survive the initial event are often invisible to those who don't know to look. We think of the trees that crash to the ground, or limbs that are torn asunder, or shrubs that are flattened/crushed and need rejuvenation. We don't think so much about those plants that are impossibly bent like so many botanical contortionists, yet return to their apparently normal selves upon snow or ice melt. What lays hidden is the longitudinally split stem and other internal xylem/phloem damage - which then suddenly can reveal its effect come the following growing season. I can't say that this is the only thing that is wrong with your plant, but it sure can be a contributor. The best thing (if there is one, with a suffering viburnum as the subject) is that Burkwood Viburnum is an incredibly vigorous and tough plant under most circumstances. If this isn't a root rot or excessively wet site problem, you can likely cut back any parts that are underperforming - read: dead - and this plant will respond with strong new growth from basal dormant buds. Water and fertilize to encourage the new growth....See MoreSudden Death of Husband
Comments (17)Hi Mary, I went over to Kitchen Table and read your posts. I'm sorry about the loss of your dear husband, now there is a gap where a person used to be and that is always such a challenge to overcome. Someone once told me that they felt that they were cut in two when they lost their spouse. I cannot even begin to imagine. I read a USA Today report that showed some research done by the University of Michigan that mentioned that a bereaved spouse needs at leas 18 months to recover physically and psychologically. Although you may not thing so at present Mary, each day will get better as time goes on. Also, don't be afraid to let your tears flow. Psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers, herself a widow, likens tears to emotional first aid. Crying is a normal part of your grieving process. You said in one of your posts in the KT forum that you have received many cards of condolence, have you written them back? Why not take some time and put in writing all the good things that you remember about your husband and the moments you shared and thank those who have reached out to you. Make an album with photographs, love letters, and notes of the good times you spent with your loved one. This will be painful at first but in the long run it will help you to heal. I can relate to what you said that some don't say anything because they don't know what to say and I can say that I have done that once. I wish I could go back and change that. But I'm here now trying to help others through their grief by using the Bible. For me, there is no better hope since I know for a fact that the promises we find in the Bible of seeing our loved ones when they are resurrected will be fulfilled. Reading on the resurrection accounts found in the Bible and meditating on them, visualizing the events makes them more real to me. "Time indefinite He has put their heart", the Bible tells us about God (Ecclesiastes 3:11) And He will use the resurrection to make everlasting life possible for people who have died. Psalms 37:11 says, "but the meek ones themselves will possess the earth, and they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace." Life in this earth under God's Kingdom rule will not be like what we are experiencing now, full of war, crime poverty, injustice, illness, and death. It will be a fulfilling and satisfying life beyond our fondest dreams. Learning more about what God's Kingdom is, the Kingdom that we all pray for in the Lord's Prayer: "Let your Kingdom come.."(Matthew 6:9, 10), will give us a more clear picture of these future promises that seem so unattainable to us now. We just need to be focused. Mary, hang in there, these hard times will soon be a part of the past. We all have suffered a loss of a loved one and we all here can somewhat understand what you are feeling. We hope to hear back from you soon. Warm hugs, Ada...See Moresudden death of spouse
Comments (7)Support comes in many different forms. Do what YOU feel is right for you. How other people work through grief may or not work for you. Hopefully coming here will be a start. I am very sorry for your loss...there is no "good" age to die, and even if it is expected, it still stings. A sudden loss like that of your husband is a shock to the system to say the least. Be gentle & kind to yourself...it is very early in the grieving process for you. Be patient to yourself, there is no set time limit to work through. Did you have children or have other family? You are already beginning to heal, by coming here and being at work, but it is not something that "get over", more like as learning to "live with" it. Please let us know how you're doing. Again, sorry for your loss....See MoreSudden death in cat
Comments (20)may 27th at about 1230am i lost a really good friend. and ive been searching for answers everywhere as to why. i found this forum and wanted to share my story. his name was oreo and he was only 5 yrs old. i came home that evening,to him sitting near his food bowl empty. got him the food. went back into the kitchen to find him do a little scurry across the floor. i wasnt really worried at first until i bent down to pet him to see what the problem was and ran into my living room then laid down on his side stretch out all his legs and let out a loud moan meow then it looked like he had trouble breathing and that he was having a siezure. i though he may have been choking i didnt know how to react so i stuck my fingers in his mouth and there was nothing. then his tongue was out of his mouth and i looked at his chest and saw he wasnt breathing anymore. my other cat nudged him with her head then walked away. for some reason i thought more could be done i took him to the emergency vet. but i knew he was already gone. i didnt know that autopsy could be done on animals they didnt offer it to me. does any one have a similar story and know what might have caused this to happen? i can't get this out of my head i relive it everyday and just wonder....See Morekayjones
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