What else to use to get rid of it,

Try a weak bleach solution.

and how to seal the open pores w/o refinishing the whole door? Thanks

Sealing the pores means refinishing the whole door. Sorry.

I was afraid bleach would ruin the finish. Try the gel pen bleach and wipe the excess off right away, just let it sit in the grain?

Can I do shellac or poly over the lacquer, so it will only stick where there's no lacquer? Or spray lacquer the whole door w/o stripping?

The cabinets are only 2 years old. Maybe it would help to put knobs on, since everyone grabs this edge of the door to access trash can, maybe with wet hands (though we have compost bucket on the counter)? Builder is out of business, I had a hard time getting help from Merillat with another problem, should I try contacting their customer service?

Thanks