First off, let me say that I'm not sure how having a family-only ceremony followed by a huge catered (albeit "casual") party is likely to save you very much money since the reception is usually the costliest part of a wedding anyway. However, there are LOADS of reasons for choosing an intimate ceremony over a massive one and you have every right to the kind of wedding you want! As to the whole "wedding gift-giving and receiving etiquette"... I have never in my life based my decision on whether to give a wedding gift (or how large a gift to give) on the size/fanciness of the wedding or even on whether or not I was invited to the wedding. Over the years I have sent wedding gifts to many many friends (and even more "children and grandchildren of friends") who chose to have family-only ceremonies or who eloped. I have never felt slighted about not being invited to such weddings nor skipped the gift just because I wasn't invited to the wedding. Conversely, there have also been many occasions when I have received an invitation to what was obviously one of those "invite-everybody-we-or-our-parents-have-ever-known" weddings. In such cases, if I didn't feel close enough to the bride/groom or to their parents to want to actually attend the wedding, I responded with "regrets" and NO GIFT. If I felt close enough to want to attend the wedding, even if I could not go, I sent a gift. In my opinion, a wedding gift is a GIFT to a couple I care about, either directly or thru their parents, which expresses my happiness for the couple. It is not "payback" for a chance to go hear them say their vows and/or attend a lavish party afterwards! And, even if some people do consider the wedding gift as payback for the party invitation... well it sounds to me like you're planning to throw a pretty, even if it be a "casual" bash. So, anyone who crassly thinks of a wedding gift as payback for the party will be expecting to give you a gift. Additionally, at least in my part of the country, it is fairly traditional to bring small congratulatory gifts (eg., tea towels, a potted plant, a nice bottle of wine, small gardening tools, etc.) to a housewarming party. Fewer people "register" for these events but enough do that I've started asking whether folks having a housewarming party are registered. So I say go ahead and register but don't mention that you are registered anywhere UNLESS someone asks you. Of course, this is the same advice I would give any bride regardless of what size wedding or what style/size reception she was planning to have! And BTW, when you do register be sure to choose LOTS of inexpensive items that you'll want and need as well as some of the pricier stuff so that everyone who wants to give a gift can find something they can afford without breaking the bank. Since you'll be moving into a brand new home, I'm sure you can find dozens of things you'll need for under $20 and hundreds for under $40. And again, this is the same advice I would offer to any bride... unless maybe she was from a family of zillionaires. But then, I would never get an invitation to that wedding anyway. LOL!

OK, all, thank you for some great tips from the PROS that you are :) I have since found out she chose the bolder color scheme of hot raspberry pink and lime green with accents of tangerine. Very tropical and vibrant ! I agree with your suggestions about using the tropical "colors" in decorating with locally available plant material, not necessarily the with "tropical" plants. That is a good money saver. I can envision the impatiens in hot pink and orange with cascading sweet potato vine, and the beautiful caladiums in hot pink and cool green and white, and the rich tapestry of coleus in the green/hot pink range. I am getting tired of my 2 patio pots right now, so I may try to recreate some "wedding ideas" now to see how they'd look. That would be fun ! I want to rent fuchsia table linens (would an orange cloth with a fuchsia overlay be too strong ?) I see your point in renting enough chairs and will do that. I guess I need a full # of tables then too. We plan on renting the glassware, dishes, etc. as well. I was in a restaurant and saw a very simple but chic "centerpiece" int he lobby. It was a tall square glass vase with black river stones in the bottom, with a stem of 8-9 orchids in it, submerged 3/4 of the way in the water, so that most of the flowers were underwater. It looked just beautiful, almost sculptural, in it's simplicity. I would like to recreate that on each table with some votives surrounding each vase. That would save some $$ on flower centerpieces, although I love that lush flower look too. Remember, strict budget :) I have to keep telling myself that. They said they DO want a dance floor, so that will have to be incorporated in somewhere too. I don't think the tent will fit the tables and a dance floor, so is it OK to have the dance floor next to the tent, yet uncovered ? We could put potted flowers at each corner to dress it up. I think the signature cocktail will be rum punch, yum :) Should that only be served the first hour, or - since this is a cocktail reception - should we plan to serve it the whole time ? Since the party will be from late afternoon thru early evening, I was going to add white Xmas lites to the trees and the gazebo, and accent the gardens and outer edges of the tent with tiki torches. I am looking into a steel drum duo for the reception, I think that would add a ton of ambiance and get people dancing ! Still up in the air is the catering. The bride's neighbor owns a restaurant, so we may be able to strike a deal there... Since this is both their second wedding, it is going to be more of a celebration of family than a formal shindig. However, the groom's first wedding was at the courthouse and he didn't really have a "wedding" so to speak, so we are doing this mostly for him :) Heck, I'm just happy to be involved !!! Thanks again for being my sounding board to bounce ideas off of, keep your thoughts/advice/ideas coming !!!! Sincerely, Amy

For those following that have not seen her new post; link is below. Posted by emeraldisle624 (My Page) on Mon, Feb 11, 13 at 18:34 Hi everyone, I know I haven't posted much lately but I am here at least once a week seeing what you are all up to. I feel like I have been wishing the days away, trying to keep my mind busy and letting my body and medicine do it's thing. It's been a long 7 months since the endometrial cancer was first diagnosed. I had my 3rd and final d&c last week at MGH in Boston. Everything about the procedure went like clockwork, unlike the last time. I was the FIRST patient allowed into pre-op in what seemed like hundreds that showed up at 5:30am. The lobby at MGH was seriously like a bus terminal, never seen anything like it. I wasn't the first one to show up nor was I the first one to see the people in the surgery check-in lobby but somehow I got to be the first sent down to the nurses in pre-op and get a room/prepped for surgery (everyone else had been told to take a seat and they'd be called soon). Then I was the first one wheeled to surgery and then the first one discharged! I swear God was holding my hand and making things as easy for me as possible, I had an aura-type feeling about me all day. If it was just my imagination, it's ok I'll take it! I never saw or talked to my doctor, I think it was because everything was on schedule (or maybe even a bit early as my husband got the call at 8:30am that I was on my way to recovery) and they had me knocked out when she arrived. Breezed through recovery, out in record time just to go home and wait 7-10 days for the results. I had such anxiety leading up the surgery that my whole body hurt. I swear I hurt even more in this past week waiting, like I tensed up while sleeping or something. I didn't feel too stressed during the day while awake as I have been pretty good at going with the flow and trying to put my trust in having everything work out the way it's destined to. Since tomorrow is day "7" of the 7-10 days I was going to email the nurse and ask if any results were available yet. She knows I am anxious and that I would be waiting every last minute. Depending on the results, I'd either be scheduling an appointment with the fertility specialist or to have my inevitable hysterectomy. I got a call this afternoon that said "blocked" on my cell phone. My stomach dropped as I knew who it was going to be, the doctor or the nurse with my results. I just wanted to update you all that I will be calling my FERTILITY SPECIALIST to make an appointment to get in there as soon as I can for the next step. All of the pathology came back with no malignancy found! I even had her email me a copy of the report because I was so afraid that she called the wrong person and was giving me someone else's information! I have it in black and white, NO MALIGNANCY FOUND, in 2 different places next to my name! I of course couldn't stop crying and I was waiting for my husband to get home. He got home and the dog ran outside with him. He's getting the mail, chasing the dog, all these things while I am just patiently waiting for him to come in. And I told him the doctor's office called and quickly went to add that the cancer was gone, I am to stop my meds and get in touch with the fertility doctor tomorrow. I felt like I was dreaming. I thanked God so much for answering all the prayers that were said for me and for giving me this opportunity. I still have a long road ahead of me and there are absolutely no guarantees of anything. But I am going to try my hardest to make our dreams come true. I am so very thankful and humbled by everyone in my life (online and in person) who have reached out to me and helped me more than they will ever know. Please continue to keep me in your prayers, I hope there is a miracle in the making. I am on a short timeline and I should have a better idea after seeing the fertility doctor again soon. (I think the meds have to be out of my system 30 days but I don't recall exactly.) Sorry for the long post, I didn't want to leave a word out in case this and my other posts ever help someone else. I hope you are all doing well and please know I think of you all often. Your prayers and healing messages changed my life and today is living proof of that. I am by no means cured of cancer, in case anyone just diagnosed finds this thread by googling or whatever. The only thing that happened is the medicine counteracted the hormones and, in my fancy medical terms, chased the cancer cells down and ate them. So, slowly but surely, since I am no longer taking the hormones, the cancer will slowly grow back and there is no way to know how fast or slow that could happen which is why time is of the essence to get pregnant now. When/if I get pregnant, my body will naturally make huge doses of that missing hormone and actually protect me from the cancer during pregnancy. I will have to have a hysterectomy within a few months or after pregnancy no matter what due to the cancer risk. I can't grasp how remarkable our bodies are. Thank you again. emeraldisle624 Here is a link that might be useful: Just a quick update!

In response to MountainBreeze.... I agree that its sort of "non-traditional" to ask people to come to a destination wedding that you have no intension of reciprocating their efforts by paying for a meal or cake and punch. BUT I also think that if the guest list is small enough for the people traveling to the wedding you don't even NEED to send invitations. Email, call, have your Mom or someone call... It's always easier to talk to someone about a sticky situation informally than trying to figure out some eloquent way to tell them something they might not want to hear. (you know it comes off impersonal and therefore impolite) Then with the people invited to your reception at home, just make it like a regular invitation...as formal or informal as you want. I mean the economy issues go both ways, but if you go to a family member or a friend personally and say... We can't afford this but love you and wish you could attend; please do if you can afford it as well then you don't even need to worry about half the stuff that I'm sure is on your mind. I have a similar problem have been searching around the web....maybe someone brilliant can help me!! I am getting married in my home town...which I don't live in and neither does my man. We are having a small family wedding with a formal sit down dinner to follow in my home town in Indiana. THEN.... we (my fianc� and I) are coming back "home" to Tennessee to have a follow-up less formal reception celebration with our friends and some of my extended family who also live in TN. Majority of the people who are invited to the wedding are not coming to the Reception in Tennessee. (Why would they it's far away and they already saw us get married?) BUT there are about 50 extended family members (that all live in TN) that I want to invite to the wedding with the anticipation that they will choose to come to the Reception in TN instead of driving to IN. So I was thinking of sending the following: Indiana wedding people get invitations to the wedding with RSVP Cards ( That will Read: Please Reply by X: Accept ____ Decline_____ if accepting: Chicken_______ or Steak________; Tennessee Reception ONLY people get there own seperate invitations to the Reception saying (we were married on XYZ, please join us for a Reception celebrating our marriage at blah blah; Then! Here in lies the problem--what do I do about those 50 family members who I want to invite to the wedding and also give them the choice of coming to the Tennessee Reception? I was thinking of sending them a seperate Reception card (included when I send the wedding invites) that say in a nut shell "in lieu of wedding you can instead attend the Tennessee Reception") Now... how do I word that without sounding like an idiot (see above!) or does anyone of this world wide web have a better idea!!!!! I'm getting married in April of 2011 I've have run out of Freaking Time to be clueless!! Thank you to anyone who responds. StephC.