| Go through this site and see the various threads on this topic. Although there are a few dissenters, the near unanimous opinion of the posters is that it is rock-bottom unacceptable to put ANY information or hints about ANY gifts in your invitations -- no registry info, no requests for cash. You will see that almost everyone feels that this is way beyond "not correct protocol" -- it's an absolute no-no. You don't want to indicate in any way that you connect wanting to invite people to your wedding with the idea that they will give you gifts. There is no polite way for you to tell them that you prefer cash, because there is no polite way for you to signal that you expect a gift at all. Don't send out registry cards or requests for cash in your invitations -- or any other way, for that matter. You may be confused by the many vendors that encourage you to enclose a "registry card" as if it were not only proper, but the "traditional wedding list," as you put it. Don't be fooled. Of COURSE they want you to distribute such cards -- that's free advertising for them. They don't care if you look greedy or crass. Putting a request for cash in your invitations is no more "correct protocol" than just writing to everyone you know and telling them to fork over some dough. You wouldn't dream of doing that any other time -- it's no more acceptable at your wedding. NancyLouise is 100% right. Gifts are not required, even though of course most of your guests will send them. But you can't proactively TELL them to get you something, and what to get. The most you can do is to register at one or more stores (if you want), and let your immediate family and -- maybe -- your attendants know your preferences. Period. They should not distribute info or announce preferences to the guests in any way, any more than you should, unless someone specifically asks. If people want to know if/where you are registered or what you would prefer, they know to ask family and bridal party. But all this doesn't mean that doesn't mean that you can't achieve your goal. You just have to do it politely. If you hope for cash instead of "thing" gifts, just don't register much or anything -- sometimes this seems to give people the hint. Or register only at a major store you use frequently where you can return items for store credit for everyday things you will be buying anyway -- that's almost as good as cash. E.g., Meier's sells groceries, so if you registered there, you could return items for store credit and just use the credit for your usual grocery shopping. Finally, don't be so sure that you don't want "thing" gifts. Those are the ones that you will still treasure, and that will remind you of the people who loved you enough to give them to you, long after the honeymoon is just one trip among many that I hope you both will share. Congratulations! |
