Thank you all for your comments (except for vhehn - seriously, if you want to tell me I'm an idiot (or, conversely, that you are the smartest person in the world), why hide it, just tell me you think I'm a moron and be done with it. You don't know me, and you assume that I'm throwing away perfectly good (and hard-earned, mind you) money because I'm a d*mb*ss. If gloating in front of someone who's down is the way you roll, I'm so glad I don't know you in person.) - 15 hours after the initial discovery of "OMG, it's happened again" (and the resulting pit in our stomaches), our anger and sadness has mellowed a bit, abut we're both intent on salvaging this situation in a professional and drama-free manner. I probably haven't chewed on the situation enough, but after digesting your comments and putting all the pieces together, I'm inclined to do the following: 1) wait for her response (except I really really really want/need to know if we submitted, and/or if we're submitting on Monday, omg......), 2) unless there's a fantastic reason why Friday didn't go as agreed, request an off-site coffee meeting with the architect and synthesize your comments in to a conversation that says, basically: look, we think you're a really talented architect [she is!], but it's clear you're extremely busy, and maybe too busy to devote the type and timing of attention on our project that we need. It's causing us a lot of unnecessary stress and heartburn, especially this early in what we know will be a stressful year and a half [between the rest of planning and the build]. We see a couple of good solutions: a) now that you know how difficult the slipping of schedule has been on not only the timing of our project but on us personally, if you'd like to continue working on our project, we'd like to continue working with you, but we need hard milestones. [and then discuss the milestones, timing, etc....maybe these need to be in writing.....]. 2) if you're just too busy and don't see that changing, we'd be disappointed but would be willing to transfer the plans to another architect to complete - do you have any that you'd recommend? How do we properly transfer the plans? As you can tell, I do soft-pedal rather than throw blame in situations like this - I'm very willing to be firm, but it needs to be in my own voice, and unfortunately (I guess), that's my voice when dealing with people that I actually like (err, you "heard" my other voice above, when responding to others!). chisue - thank you for understanding, and yes, she's licensed, has a nice boutique business, and is actually really talented. she just sucks as client service. We found her as a referral from a neighbor who has (in our opinion) the prettiest new build in the neighborhood - we live in a 50's era rancher town on quarter acre lots in a part of the country where that's considered really big - most of the Bay Area is on 4000-5000 sq ft lots). To his credit, he DID warn us that while she's a terrific architect, she'd be "tough to get a hold of, as she's very busy" (maybe that was neighbor-code for "she'll miss every deadline"). dixiedoodle - agreed, I'm not planning on getting any $ back, so that's not what I'm after. Actually, for the $ we've paid thus far, we ((heart)) the house plan. Yes, in hindsight, the comments that translate to "they're more important than you" are, at best, inappropriate. At the time(s), it seemed more like casual chit-chat. feedingfrenzy, sue36 and sovra - thank you all - your comments and thoughts are the basis for the planned conversation. We actually *would* like her to see the plans through, just need to figure out how to tell her that we can't continue this way, it's too painful. I will go post this in Conversations to see in M-A has additional thoughts. What do you all think of the planned conversation, and how would you tweak it?

I, too, was raised in a rural setting. My money management began during WW2. I got $0.25 per week allowance and whatever else I cound earn. I walked 1.5 miles (one way), once per week to cut one and sometimes 2 lawns with a push, reel mower. That was work. I also hjelped my mother hang paper. Those old farm houses with a heating stove in the living room generated several papering jobs each year. My next gig for 2 years was driving a tractor for a farmer who had access to more land than he could handle alone. Adding me to the plowing team about doubled the acreage that could be prepared for planting. I got $4.00 per day, noon meal, and transportation to and from the job. (I did not have a car, nor wasn't old enough to own one.) I worked long hours, but it was one of the better paying jobs I had for a youth. For a couple of years while in highschool, I worked 3 hours after school at a full service filling station and closed the station at night. I also worked an 8 hr Saturday at the same station. Besides selling gasoline and oil, we did oil changes, lubrication, tire changes and repair, changed thermostats, radiator flush and refills, car washes, and minor tune-ups. We'd clean out, wash, and service a couple of school buses each Saturday. That was a lot of area to wash. It was a dirty job and was cold in winter. After that job, I worked at grocery store as a carry out and stock boy. My feet were tired by the end of the day and that was my last odd job before leaving home for college. I had one other odd job. The highschool principal hired mt to run a push mop over the basketball floor before the game on game nights, and to sweep the trash out of the bleachers. On those nights, I did not go home after school since home was 10 miles away. As soon as everyone cleared out after school, I began cleaning the gym. After cleaning, I'd grab a bite at the local eatry and be back for the game. I got in free because I also played in the school band at games. It was a hard scrable life, but in some ways, it was better for the youth than today. Even during hard times, there was work for a kid if he was honest, trustworthy, and willing to work. The pay was low, but other prices were not high. Labor laws and liability was not a big factor. At the begining of my work career, comic books sold for 10 cents in 1943 and rose to 25 cents by 1953. I sold gasoline at 22 cents per gallon and that rose to 25 cents per gallon by 1954. New cars were priced roughly at $1 per pound. You could buy a new Ford 5 passenger sedan with stick shift for less than $2500. Buicks and Oldsmobiles weighed more and sold for $3000 or more.

Thanks for the words of (mostly) support. Here's an update: I decided to go to the source for information. I sent an email to the Archdiocese of Phila asking what the facts are on this issue. The next day I got back what I believe was a 'form letter email' if you will. It basically stated that at present there is no rule either way on the wedding procession and that there will not be until new Marriage Rite (from the Vatican) is published in english. I sent a follow up on an unanswered question - can an individual parish pastor decide on his own to forbid the father escorting his daughter - if that is her desire? I also asked if this practice is 'not a part of the Marriage Rite' in the future, will there be any wiggle room that would let the father and daughter walk together; or would it be a sin or invalidate the ceremony? I got no response for several days. Since the original query was answered so promptly, I decided that in case I was now being ignored, that I would resend the same email with a header ( second request, third request, etc.) every day until I heard from them. Well, after a week, I got a response, a personal one this time. The Marriage Rite is published with individual differences in different countries according to local practices / customs. Again, there is no current policy addressing who walks with whom; walking with my daughter is no sin and it would not invalidate the ceremony even after the Marriage Rite is published. I gave a copy of the emailed response to a friend of my wife. Her daughter is going through the same thing. It's my hope that she shoves the email right under my pastor's nose and calls him out on it, but I don't know how confrontational she is.

Found the article. The author was from England which probably explains the left hand theory. From the story: My sister and I were among the most successful pickpocket teams in London. We worked hotel and theater lobbies, airports, shopping centers, restaurants. We're straight now, but this crime is worldwide. Here's how to protect yourself: Professional pickpockets do not see victims, only handbags, jewelry and money. Mothers with babies, the elderly, the disabled are all fair game. My preferred target was the lone female, handbag dangling at her side - the right side to be exact, so if I'm next to her I can reach it discreetly with my right hand across my body. Only about one woman in a thousand carries her bag on the left, and I tended to steer clear of them. Most dippers work with a "staller," almost always a woman. She stands to the victim's right. The timing is crucial. As I move in from behind, the staller casually takes a half step closer to the target and moves her left hand - the one nearest the victim - so that her elbow juts out above the handbag, obscuring it from the victim's view, security cameras or store detectives. Women whose bags are hanging in front of them are tricky for the pickpocket, as there isn't a blind side. If you want to make it even harder, use a bag with handles rather than a strap. My pet peeve was the handbag with a clasp on the side and a zipper underneath. They take twice as long to do - about five seconds. Worse still are women who keep their wallets in an inside zipped pocket. And a new bag, especially one made of leather, is much stiffer, making it harder to open without the owner feeling it. Toughest of all is the fanny pack, because it's worn at the front. A pickpocket needs targets who are relaxed and preoccupied. The perfect setting is a clothing store. Customers bustle among the racks, completely distracted as they hold up items. The presence of a uniformed security guard is even better. False reassurance makes a pickpocket's job much simpler. Women should check that their bags are closed and held in front of them or under their arms. Men should keep a hand on their wallets. Then the article goes on to say how he got caught and was sentenced to seven years in jail. Reader's Digest