I don't know... I guess I didn't take my wedding so seriously. Ok, the bridesmaids are wearing black to an outdoor May wedding... the other colors are pastel green and yellow... (These colors aren't going to be worn with the black dresses?) I'm guessing the pastel green and yellow mean the flowers or the tableclothes, centerpieces, cake icing, or something, right???? And, it's probably just me, but I probably wouldn't try to match my dress to the decorations anyway. Plus, I really can't think of any color that compliments black, pastel green and yellow... maybe dark green? I attached another link with some dresses in the purple family that I think would look nice for a May wedding. The heck with the color of the program ink or party favors. Seriously, stay away from white, black and anything too bright and you should be fine. There are tons of Mother of the Bride and Groom dress sites to give you ideas. If it's a 4:00 wedding, generally dress for the evening... the formality of the dress will depend on the wedding. Here is a link that might be useful: Mother of the Groom

My rule about picking out an outfit for a special occasion is... when in doubt, don't. It probably doesn't really matter how many of us tell her it is ok or not, if she has doubts about wearing black, she's probably going to feel self conscious in it, and it's not the best pick for her. Tell her to keep looking until she finds something she doesn't have any doubts about. She'll probably feel better in something else.

I was mother of the groom three years ago (you can search this board and find a picture of my dress, but truthfully that won't be any help -- ) and now am mother of the bride. And I am built very similarly to you - an inch shorter, even. I can give you this advice: SHOP IN A STORE, not on line. Unless you are very easy to fit -- i.e., tall and thin, which let's face it we aren't! -- it's very hard to find a flattering dress, especially a long gown. Even when they look good on us, they don't look at all like they do on the pictures of the 5'10" size 4 models; it's like a different dress. Even my future son-in-law's young, gorgeous sisters didn't like the first set of dresses they ordered on line that looked so perfect in the pictures once they actually got them, so they are starting over. If you really don't live in or aren't visiting a city where you can try on, then I guess you have no choice but to order a bunch of returnable dresses on line and hope that one looks good and send back the rest. But I would still start by visiting local stores just to see which cuts look good on you. I had zero luck at bridal shops. The clerks told me that it wasn't my imagination: the mother-of-the dresses are mostly designed for tall women. Of course they will make yours in your size, but all the details are out of proportion. I also think that the styles are usually kinda unoriginal and matronly compared to the dresses you can find in shops or department stores. (For both weddings, all the grandmothers, all in their 80s, found their dresses in bridal shops.) They just don't look like anything you'd buy another time, let alone that you'd see on the red carpet. Plus, they take forever to come in, they aren't cheap, and they aren't returnable if they don't look like you had hoped. So unless the bride insists on a matching fabric or something (which she shouldn't, but if she does, humor her!), I'd skip the bridal shops. You can look at lots of pictures of other moms, but it's not really going to help. You need to find what looks good on YOU. If you live near a store with a free personal shopper service, USE IT. You don't even have to buy anything. I found my dresses out of town but used the Nordstrom free personal shopper for help finding accessories and undergarments. What a huge help that was, and believe it or not it ended up SAVING me some money and definitely a lot of time. And it was fun! So, tell us: what kind of dress do you need? Day, night, long, short, dressy, not so dressy? What time of day and time of year is the wedding? What is the venue? Do you think you will have future occasions to wear this dress again? Do you have any particular jewelry or accessories that make you feel wonderful and/or have sentimental meaning that you'd like to wear for the wedding that could give you a starting point? What is your all-time favorite dress you've ever had? Do you know what the bride's mother is wearing? Try to match that in terms of formality and probably length. Does the bride want you in a specific color scheme? If not, great -- choose what looks best on you when you try on, although I suppose avoid things that will clash like mad in the photos (it's NOT the time for black, green, and orange day-glo polka dots!). Keep an open mind when you shop. I was glad I tried on styles and colors I didn't think would look good on me; I got some surprises in both directions. Happy hunting, and congratulations on your son's marriage.

I would like a wedding coordinators opinion - is the following in bad taste? or am I too sensitive..my son was married a couple of months ago, i was seated in the back table at the reception, by the kitchen, and prevented from being in the photos. When I asked the wedding planner about pictures with the grooms family and the mother of the groom she said, not on the schedule! I was stunned. The night before he told me I was the best mother in the world, of course I had just deposited $10,000.00 in his account. A month before the wedding the bride sent me the dress she wanted me to wear, she got it for $50.00 off Amazon, she wore a $10,000.00 Vera Wang that my son bought for her. Now there are hundreds of pics online with her family - not one of me.. They re indignant that I dare feel bad because I was seated in the back and didn't get my picture taken, They tell me that it was THEIR day and I should just keep my mouth shut..I didn't see it coming, although the bride said before the wedding that she thought me, a single mother, and my sons were too close..well, she's just done a great job of breaking that up. I feel completely shutout and it hs been devastating.. This post was edited by Serenitynot on Sat, Jan 26, 13 at 23:05