when to start looking for mob/mog dresses??

18 years ago

Hello everyone,

How far in advance would you think is appropriate to start looking for my MOG dress? I've been looking on the web & ebay to get some ideas. The wedding is June 24th '06 so I need to find something more for summer.

Do I need to find out what color the bride's mom will choose, so that I don't step on any toes? Do I just stick to beige?? Don't get me wrong, her mom is a lovely person!

Also, I am under a lot of personal stress ( completely unrelated to the wedding) Either I'm stress-eating or not eating at all. I have no idea what size I'll be by then, so I'm kind of afraid to shop too early. Also, I have no idea what size I am now (possibly a 12 or 10--although I'd like to shoot for a size 8 by then, heaven help me), or what styles would look halfway nice on me.

I just would like to look my best for my son and not embarrass him too much--LOL

Suggestions please & TIA ~~ katclaws

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Comments (8)

sweet_pea10
18 years ago
From an etiquette perspective, the mother of the bride chooses her dress first then tells you what color and style she chose so that you can choose a complimentary color and style. As a three time MOB/MOG, I can tell you that choosing your dress will be more difficult than choosing the wedding gown. It was awful. Everything was either too formal or too casual. So, you may want to start looking now and when you find the perfect dress you will be ready to purchase.
User
18 years ago
As the MOG, I waited till MOB chose her dress. As she lived in England and bought her dress here, it was stored (with everything else for the wedding) at my house in the guest room/wedding room.

I procrastinated about my own dress until about 2 months before the date because the only things I ever wear are jeans or uniforms.

I got a little nervous when I finally went shopping and couldn't find anything appropriate. A friend (recent MOG) gave me the name of her upscale dress shop; a shop that assigns you your own personal consultant who assesses the style of the wedding and your body size and comfort level and all that stuff. She picked out 6 dresses for me to try on--I bought the first one. She suggested the shoes and jewelry and purse, too.

What a relief it was to have professional help. Good luck with your wedding.

If I can pass on one piece of advice--be comfortable. It's a long day/night and you want to enjoy yourself, not think about holding your tummy in or how much your feet hurt.
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Wow, do you have your hands full. But katclaws, you are a very capable person who will do beautifully! I am always in favor of getting help organizing things -- often, it saves money, too. I think party planners are GREAT. But if cost is an issue, you may be able to most of that help free, and with a minimum of driving around. If you know of a good place, like a restaurant, for your rehearsal dinner, I would talk to whoever is in charge of parties there and ask them if they can take care of flowers and music, too, or whatever else you want in addition ot food and drink. That pretty much just leaves invitations and maybe a photographer if you want that. The photographer you can hire over the phone anyway. If you end up going to a florist yourself, you can probably get away with one visit. For dresses, did you know that services of the "personal shoppers" at department stores are free? Perhaps you could call and tell her what you need, and then just have to go, with your mom, once to try on dresses and shoes that the shopper has waiting for you. If you are REALLY lucky, you can get her to agree to come to your home, but that would require over-and-above service, perhaps by a shopper who happens to live near you. If you want to wear makeup, then while you are at the deparment store, stop at the makeup counter and let them show you a few tricks. You will probably end up buying something, but you certainly don't HAVE to buy anything, let alone EVERYTHING they show you. Don't worry that you haven't worn makeup or a new hairstyle in a long time. You don't have to be done up by a professional -- this isn't the Oscars! I actually prefer to do my own hair and makeup. It sounds like it would help simplify things for you, too. A fresh haircut and perhaps a little mascara, lipstick, and blush are really 99% of looking "dressed up" enough for a wedding anyway. You can do the invitations on your computer. Use colored or bordered paper and colored envelopes (like you can find at Kinko's, and I'm sure many other places) for an inexpensive festive look. You can use either the little card-sized ones or 8 1/2" x 11" papers. Go ahead and print address labels on your computer if you want (although in my experience it's usually just as fast to write the envelopes by hand). I wish I could be there to stay with your mom that evening. My dad had Alzheimer's, too. Is there an Alzheimer's support group in your area? I wonder if they could give you some suggestions. We learned a LOT from an online support group in particular. People a little farther down this very strange road always have great tips and tricks for making other caregivers' lives easier. Good luck to you! I'm sure it will all work out great and your guests will have a lovely time.
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I guess I have a different take on this than the other posters. I think that the MOB sets the formality of dress, and maybe length, but the MOG has the freedom to buy something that she likes and looks good in. If the OP looks best in pastels, I think she should get a pastel dress. She isn't part of the wedding party and doesn't need to match them. Perhaps she shouldn't clash with them, but that's about it. Since saris leave a portion of the midriff and back exposed, I'd not recommend the OP wear one unless she feels comfortable with that. And I don't think there is any need to wear a sari or a dress made from a sari, either. The sari is part of the bride's family's culture. There is no reason the groom's mother can't wear something reflective of her own culture. If the OP wants to wear a sari, fine. If she wants to wear a dress she is comfortable in, also fine. I'm concerned that making a sari into a dress could be difficult. I did once and it was tricky finding a pattern that would work with the fabric, as lindac mentions. I just quickly grabbed three dresses that would fit the bill for the time and place of the wedding (the first one would have to be shortened). Just as ideas. http://www.coldwatercreek.com/Products/ProductATB.aspx?productid=44607&ensembleid=50771 http://www.coldwatercreek.com/Products/ProductATB.aspx?productid=45857&ensembleid=52017# http://www.coldwatercreek.com/Products/ProductATB.aspx?productid=44603&ensembleid=50783
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caseys
18 years ago
My daughter is getting married in July '06 and like you I haven't seriously started looking yet. I don't know exactly when the spring/summer styles will be in the stores so unless I happen across something I like that is left over from last summer, I doubt I'll be buying anything soon. I know that I don't want to wear a long dress, and I'm a little nervous that the groom's mother might want to. The bridesmaids will be wearing tea length and that's what I would prefer.
sweet_pea10
18 years ago
Because the bridesmaids are wearing tea length dresses, it would be inappropriate for the mothers to wear long dresses. They should not dress more formally than the bridesmaids. That is not to say, however, that the MOG won't decide to wear what she wants regardless of what you choose. I have seen several MOGs who had no idea that they were to take their cue from the MOB and who were either overdressed or dressed much too casually.
susanjf_gw
18 years ago
for the first wedding (mog), it was outside in the backyard of a family friend so was totally up-scale casual... could have worn the same dress to dd's destination wedding on sanibel island but she didn't want the same dress in her pictures, lol...so consulted a friend who lived in florida, as to what to wear..ended up cataloging it...

i plan (mog) to catalog again, for next oct, 06...will probably not have any problems as mob is petite, and i'm lane bryant. lol...
conniemelmar3_yahoo_com
13 years ago
My son is getting married in August. His fiance' suggested that I be with her and her mom when shopping for her wedding dress. I love the idea, but is it appropriate?
sweet_pea10
13 years ago
It is definitely appropriate and can be a great bonding experience for you, the bride, and her mother. When my daughter got married to an only child, we took his mother to some of our appointments. She told us how much she appreciated it and having the opportunity to feel a little like an MOB. When my clients ask, I encourage them to include the future MIL. I have had a couple of clients who invited her to every appointment, others who invited her to selected appointments.
gellchom
13 years ago
That's lovely, especially for the girl who married an only child. I know I really, really loved it that my FDIL sent my mother and me (we were together on a trip at the time) photos of the dresses she was considering and of the one she selected. We were delighted that she included us, not even so much for being able to see the dress as much as that it reassured me that I must not be acting too pushy or intrusive about the wedding plans if she felt comfortable doing that.

when to start looking for mob/mog dresses??

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