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A 'surprise' wedding

Posted by sanjosedb (My Page) on
Sun, Sep 12, 04 at 16:30

Hello all,
My guy and I have decided to make our wedding ceremony a surprise for our families. First, because he and I were SUPPOSE to be married years ago but at 18 I knew we were too young so I bailed out and ever since then our families have made it clear to us that we each blew the best thing we'd ever have. 20 years passed. Well, 9 months ago we reunited and have fallen head over heals for each other again. Our families are happy for us but are now pressuring us to marry. We know if we told our families of the wedding plans they would make such a ruckus about it and besides, it's just like us to do something like this.

Our date is set for 11/25/05, the day after Thanksgiving. My guy thought he could get both families together by telling them he was going to formally propose on Thanksgiving Day. Then we could somehow inform them the wedding was the following day. My concern is that some family will think that although it is sweet to be invited to the proposal the traveling will be saved for the wedding itself and therefore will not come.

First, anyone have any creative ideas how we can get people to come without giving up the surprise? We chose a holiday thinking it would give them the perfect reason to come.

Second, anyone have any creative ideas how we can then tell them the wedding is the following day? If it helps we are doing an evening wedding.

Yes, our families are going to be somewhat upset. But mainly only those who would have gotten in the way of OUR plans.

Any other advice either for or against this idea? Please be gentle. :)

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: A 'surprise' wedding

WOW... what a love story! Congratulations! :)

I don't have much advice, perhaps stick with your plan (him saying he's going to propose). If some say they can't make it, wait until the last possible moment and let them in on the secret. I can understand people wanting to wait for the actual event (I'd probably do the same). Being a holiday weekend, travel arrangements can get tricky (as well as expensive). How far would they be traveling from?

Good luck and please keep us updated!


RE: A 'surprise' wedding

I agree with Wendy that you will probably have to tell some out-of-town family members that a wedding is going to occur. Thanksgiving is a family time, and it isn't the easiest time to travel for those who live in the northern states if they drive. If you don't let them in on the secret, they may make local plans for Thanksgiving, thinking that they can travel to a wedding in the summer. If any of your guests need to secure plane reservations, they will need to know several months in advance. We travel by plane at Thanksgiving and we get our tickets in August, since the price goes up almost weekly in the following months.

RE: A 'surprise' wedding

I'd say as a starting point figure out the date or occasion that would be easiest for you to get the most people to come. If it's not thanksgiving, do it another time. New year's eve would be fun too.

Then whatever the date is, just sell it as a family get-together, and stress to everyone what a great opportunity it will be for everyone to see each other, and so-and-so and so-and-so are coming, don't you want us all to be together?

I think you might have to just accept a bit of a trade-off between the suprise factor and the number of out-of-town guests you will get to attend.

I love the idea and think you'll have a great time even if not everyone can come. You might want to tell a few people who would have a hard time traveling otherwise, and swear them to secrecy. Then they can help you pressure other people into coming. Although they might tell them and swear them to secrecy too... it could get out of hand if you have a big-mouthed family.

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