Hi Sue and all! yes, the summer has flown- it sure has been a hot one! looking forward to the pow-wow but I will have to leave a little early- going to Frankfort for one of my great nephews birthday party... a couple of things: can I dig iris, peony, day lily now? I usually put them in plastic grocery bags with holes punched in for air- what about perinnials? If I dig now, should I put them in pots? or what??? I have lots of seed that are not this year's collection- I wintersowed some of them and they did great.. I will bring some for those who want to try them.. I will have some wintersowing supplies to share- I will have some heirloom bean seed to share- I will try to update my 'have' list so you can browse before the swap- yes, everyone update your wants list... I need to seriously downsize my garden- it has become an overgrown mess- I just can't take care of it like I did when I first started gardening in 1997 :))I hope to share a lot of things with people I know will love and take care of them.. a sad note: many of you remember my Mom "mema"- at the end of June, her kidneys shut down- she was in the hospital for a month and then to rehab for a couple of weeks- they put her on diaylsis, but could not keep the fluid down and blood pressure up- she passed away on Aug 8th she was 88 years young-- we sure miss her thankful for all the time we had together, and that she knew we were there for her all the way. my son and his wife and baby are going to buy Mema's house-right across the street from my house- it will be so nice to have them close- My Mom and Dad bought the house new over 50 years ago, and we just couldn't let it go...they are excited about living there and raising their family.. looking forward to seeing all of you- best wishes, Linda

Maybe this is way off base, but what's wrong with picking up the phone and calling to confirm receipt of the gift? I think I'd just forget about the emails and call and just ask if the gift had been received and state my concerns, as if I'd never even sent the email. In other words, I'd act on the assumption (whether true or false) that the emails had not been read. If she said anything about the emails I'd just say, Oh, since I didn't hear back from you I figured they hadn't gone through. On the topic of Thank you notes, I'm not as nice as gellchom (I already knew that!). I'm one who thinks that people who don't send thank you notes don't need any more gifts. So... here's my story of an ungrateful recipient. A daughter of a friend's apartment caught on fire, she escaped with her life and singed eyebrows! Several of uss dug into our closets to give her some basic items to help her make a new start, I gave sheets, a lamp, some other odds & ends. Subsequently she got pregnant. I (along with others) gave her a baby shower and a very nice gift. I gave her a gift when I visited her in the hospital, and another gift when I visited her later at her mother's house. For all of this I received no thank you note. Neither did any of the other shower-givers. I felt like I'd done a lot for this girl and yet she could not take a moment to sit down and write even one note to me. A few months later she got married. I attended the wedding but gave no gift. I figured I'd about done all I needed to for this girl. Thank you notes are important. As has been said above, the giver has given time, effort and expense to you and the few minutes it takes to write a note is not a lot to ask. And it should be done in a timely manner. A year is not timely. I'm afraid that gifts have become expected so that some people think they are owed. That's too bad. A gift isn't supposed to cover the cost of attendance at the wedding or meet any other criteria except that it should be given from the heart. And I agree that I'm not giving a gift in order to receive anything in return per se, but if I give from the heart and don't feel that the recipient has similar feelings in his/her heart for me, it doesn't make me want to rush out and buy yet another gift for that person. A thank you note is such a simple and easy way for a recipient to say, I appreciate and return your feelings. Both of my sons were raised to send thank you notes for all gifts. They both had to address the envelopes themselves as well as write the note (when they were old enough to). My older son writes great notes which have humor and gratitude. My younger son tends to write two line notes. But either way, they understand the importance of the written note.

I agree with the previous posters. I would let the out of towners know your date as soon as you have it for sure, so they can make travel plans. It doesn't have to be a special save the date card or magnet (I did like the magnet I got once, though!) -- mentioning it in Xmas cards or other mail you're sending anyway, or just sending it in an email, is fine -- maybe even preferable. But I also agree that I wouldn't send them to people in town. Last year, I got a few save the date memos for local weddings. I have to tell you, it seemed to me like these families were competing for the guests, and I found it distasteful. I certainly didn't feel compelled, in case of conflict, to attend the event whose "save the date" card came earlier. If you are sending Xmas cards or whatever to people in town, in my opinion it would be okay to mention the wedding date (IF you are going to invite them). Your closest friends and family will know anyway -- at least they will know the general time frame and won't accept any invitations until they make sure it isn't your date. I agree that sending a "save the date" notification of any kind shouldn't count as "the invitation that came first so I have to accept it" -- first of all, you never have to accept ANY invitation; I am pretty sure the "rule" about what came first only applies to BREAKING an engagement for which you have already accepted an invitation in order to accept a better one that came along later (a big no-no). Well, I guess in a way you are supposed to accept the first invitation, because you are supposed to respond yes or no promptly, not wait to see if something better comes along ... But I absolutely agree with Talley Sue that if you already planned on going to an event that you knew about even though you haven't yet received an invitation, that IS a prior commitment anyway.

I gave up and bought another round of Christmas panties at JC Penneys Friday. Then, as we knew would happen, I found the Victoria's Secret envelope this morning! It was in plain sight all the time. One problem was that it wasn't manilla, as I had thought I remembered. It was white plastic. It was lying in my bedroom with a white plastic envelope that had a prescription in it. I put them both together, thinking they were both prescriptions, I guess. This morning, I got ready to sort out a months pills into the weekly pill holders I use. I opened the first envelope and pulled out a prescription bottle. Then I opened the second envelope and pulled out panties!!! Ahh.. such is life! Thank you to all of you for the great suggestions on places to look. I checked out all of them. And for those of you who are looking for items of your own, I hope you find them. Don't forget to look all the places mentioned in this forum thread! Merry Christmas all :-)