Perhaps the difference between "couple shower" and "couples shower" is a matter of the ear.....they sound very much the same.....actually it's a lot more difficult to say "couples shower"....so the error was likely mine. And also men are invited....both men who are part of a "couple" and single men friends....with or without a date. Anyhow I think it's a lovely custom....the party given fro my daughter at a friends house on a lovely summer evening, featured jugs of wine set in ice filled copper boilers around the yard and the deck, and similar onef filled with beer. Dinner was a chicken casserole...probably a salad and rolls....don't remember dessert but if I know the friends who gave the shower, probably wedding cake. There were about 80 people invited and each couple was asked to contribute a small amount and the hostesses bought a lovely Wallace silver coffee service. tray coffee pot, tea pot, cream and sugar. It sits on my daughter's buffet server and is used for Christmas Easter, Birthdays and other occasions I am sure. I don't know how the custom got started but it's been the custom among my circle of friends. I have given several, one time it was a back yard hamburger cook out and the gift was a very nice grill, another time it was a fancy cocktail buffet for 80 people ( my house was bursting!) and the gift was the bride's china...not all of it but a couple of place settings of Lenox, another time we did a garden party with oven fried chicken potato salad, beans slaw and strawberry shortcake and the gift was a piece of antique oak furniture. All the parties were given by 2 ior 3 couples and we did all the cooking. We had lots of fun! Linda C

"I always thought you were not supposed to put where a person is registered on an invitation. And especially not ask for gifts. But oh well." The entire point of a baby or wedding shower is to "shower" the guest of honor with presents, so putting the registry information in with the invitation is typically considered appropriate. It's events that are NOT specifically oriented toward the gifts, such as the wedding itself or a graduation party, where open reference to gifts is inappropriate. Did anyone else think a shower invitation from the cousin's daughter-in-law, whom the OP has met maybe three times, is casting the "gimme" net just a tad far out? Maybe if OP and cousin were very close friends, sure, but good grief! My standard shower gift is onesies. Lots and lots of plain white onesies, because my baby brother (now changing his own kids' diapers, how time flies!) could easily go through a dozen in a day. Budget is pretty much always around $25 unless it's a really close friend, because that's what MY budget can afford. If you shop right you can get a lot of onesies for $25! (I think my record is 10 6-packs that had been put on clearance for $2.50 a bag, down from $10, because the packages were ripped up. So I took them out of the packages, folded them nicely into a pretty box, and went merrily off to the shower - where I got in a viciously polite whispered argument with the host because I refused to play the "baby food tasting" game *retch*). Kiddo often outgrows them well before they wear out anyway. No one I know has done the "clothesline" although I do think it would be pretty cool to do a clothesline specifically to donate to the local women's shelter, and put that right on the invitation; I do find it very ironic that my lower-middle-class family ("you might be a redneck if...") thinks wishing wells are tacky. Diapers can be tricky, unless a specific type is noted on the registry, because of that whole cloth-vs-disposable thing. There are some verrrrry strong feelings on that subject! I do appreciate registries, both for weddings and baby showers, if I'm not very close to the recipient because it tells me what the recipients are interested in - I don't necessarily need to purchase something off the list, but if I see 20 Winnie the Pooh items on a baby shower list, that tells me that Mum is diggin' Pooh and might appreciate some mint-condition vintage Pooh books to read to her child or decorate a shelf in the nursery. It also does indicate to me what's NOT really welcome. For instance, if I see on the registry that everything the parents chose is either khaki, sage, and/or cream (such as at the last shower I attended), it's a pretty good bet that the parents are unlikely to be overly enthusiastic over primary colors or the old pink/blue routine.

My roommate hosted a lingerie/honeymoon shower for me, and in addition to lingerie stuff, I got: -a jewelry roll, for carrying jewelry on the trip (I love it--a great idea; I still use it) -a toiletries-case set, w/ stuff for doing handwashing in the hotel rooms, intended to be used on the trip, and beyond--I had a toiletries kit, but it was very utilitarian, and I really enjoyed using the pretty one, and used it for years -WARM jammies, since my friend said nights in England would be chilly I like the evening shawl--pashmina or cashmere, maybe. They're surprisingly warm. If you got one in white (esp. sparkly) or in the wedding color(s), you'd increase the chances that she'd find it useful on the day of the wedding itself. You could add even more "personal touches" or make it fancier if you got a plain one, by sewing on a trim, or beads, or something (though watch out for whether the shawl will be comfortable if she leans back while wearing it--you don't want lots of little beads poking her and making her uncomfortable). You're not the only person, by far, to ask total strangers to help you pick out something personal and special--but it always strikes me as odd. For a gift to be truly personal, it needs to have some resonance between you & the recipient. If you don't know her well enough to come up w/ something personal based on what you know about her, it won't be very personal. And I'm wondering, personal to whom? To you, in that you invested some of YOUR person in it? in which case, what matters to you? I usu. give baking pans at showers, and I consider that a "personal" gift in that it is from me personally. I put my own personal taste and opinions and regard in it--I love to bake, use baking pans w/ Pillsbury tubes & to reheat pizza, and firmly believe that most brides in my circles start out w/ way too few. So, I give them a piece of myself. Or do you mean, "personal to the bride," in that it has some of HER personality invested in it? In which case, what do you know about her? About her values, her tastes, her activities, her wish-list? The most personal present I ever got was a pizza cutter! No lie, I'd admired my friend's Pampered Chef pizza cutter w/ slip-on case, and **she remembered.** I laughed so hard when I opened it, and felt so loved, because she *remembered.* That gift was give to me, personally, and not to some "category": "my friend the mom" or "my friend the baker." it was to "Talley Sue who told me she wanted one." So, what has the bride said? What object has she admired, of yours, or in a store, or a catalog? Get that. Or, do you mean "personal" as in "intended for her personal use and enjoyment as opposed to being used for her household"--the way a jewelry box is personal and a sofa pillow is not; or a blouse is personal and an apron is not. In which case, get something that you think is fun, or lovely, or useful. I've taken, w/ my friend who bought me the pizza cutter, to buying her things *I* would love to own (but either know I wouldn't really use, or don't feel rich enough to buy). So, I've bought her -aqua-crystal & silver jewelry -a small faux-leather-covered travel jewelry box similar to this (in fact, I really like this one--wonder who I can drop a hint to...) -an umbrella with the collapsible cap to catch drips (to keep her car seat from getting wet, sinc eshe lives in Car Land and I do not.)

I second sheeisback, cash or gift card, and I think any clothing items are not a good idea. The bridal shower gift is for the couple, not just the bride, so buying even non-sexy pjs seem like you are inserting yourself into their bedtime. No. If they'll be moving around, cash or a gift card to one of their registered places would really be the most useful. What they think they need, and registered for, might be very different than what they will find out they really need once they're settled someplace.