| I've always thought the remembrance candle was lit DURING the service, up front, in a little pause/ceremony. Just after or just before the vows, I don't remember. But the officiant makes a 2-sentence introduction, and pretty music is played, and the bride and groom go together to light the candle. of course, the only weddings i go to anymore are Catholic ones, and Catholics have the "light a candle as part of a prayer" tradition or rite. And so there's this quiet moment of prayer during the lighting--prayer of thanks for that person's life, prayer for comfort for those who miss him/her, and even prayer TO that person that they intercede before the throne of God on bride & groom's behalf. (an interesting part of the Catholic faith--shared by us Lutherans, I have found out--is that people who've died are still alive in heaven, and can add their prayers on our behalf to our own) Your son and his bride might ask their officiant what he/she thinks. If you light it before the ceremony begins or before the guests arrive, then those people don't get to participate in that moment of collective remembering. But of course, you can have your statement of sentiment steadily communicated. I don't think there's any hard-and-fast rule; just whatever they like. |
