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Inviting the JP to reception

Posted by LAS23 (My Page) on
Sat, Aug 7, 04 at 20:15

I am getting married in October and have a question that I am hoping someone can help me with. We are using a justice of the peace and the wedding ceremony will be at the Inn where the reception is. The wedding will be small. My question - I feel I should invite the JP to stay for the reception. Is it proper to invite her husband too? If so, should I send a formal invitation? Thanks for any feedback.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Inviting the JP to reception

To answer your questions:

Yes, you should invite the JP to the reception.

Yes, you should invite her husband too.

Yes, you should send a formal invitation.

:-)


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RE: Inviting the JP to reception

I think it depends upon how small the wedding is, what kind of reception you are having, and whether you know this JP or are just hiring her for the day. My husband is a clergyman, and we are always invited to the reception. But -- these families are his congregants, not strangers hiring him for the day. And even then, if there is a VERY tiny wedding, say, 15 people, who are then going to a home or restaurant for the "reception," I know he would not be insulted not to be invited to join them -- and I absolutely would not expect them to invite me, too. Often these families will ask him, or us, to join them at the restaurant or wherever, but we realize that they are just being extra courteous, not wanting to walk off to celebrate right in front of us, and we decline. I think that is probably what you are worrying about, right? Because the reception is at the same location as the ceremony.
I don't know what you mean by "small." If you are having 100 people or something, I would invite her and her husband, with the same invitation you use for the other guests. If it is a small group, but you are having just coffee and cake or something, as opposed to a meal, I would ask her to stay, but I don't think you must send an invitation to her and her husband.

If you don't know her except that you are hiring her for the day: don't worry, she probably won't accept even if you do invite her. As lovely as your wedding will be, she sees hundreds of them, and she will have other things to do than be at a reception where she doesn't know the people.


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RE: Inviting the JP to reception

Thanks for the feedback. I do not know the JP - just hiring her for the day. By small, I mean fifty people. It is at a place that is expensive. Inviting her and her husband will cost as much as her fee, however I don't want this to be about money. We just want to do the right thing and not make her feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure if I send an invitation like she is a regular guest that she should feel she should bring us a gift. I am certainly not looking for that either!


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RE: Inviting the JP to reception

Sounds like you hardly know this person. If its gonna cost you as much as her fee, honestly I'd not invite her. I'm sure she will uinderstand. I'm not inviting my caterer and my florist even though thye are there to set up and see what it would be like. However we are inviting the priest becasue he is a family firend...
you need to make a decision that will suit you both morally and financially, after all this is your wedding. Don't invite her out of obligation!


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RE: Inviting the JP

It is a simple courtesy to extend the invitation. If the JP is a virtual stranger, she will most likely decline.


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RE: Inviting the JP to reception

LAS23, I think in your case, with only 50 people at a seated meal reception and a JP you don't even know (that's the most important consideration), you don't need to invite her and her husband. I know my husband would not take offense; in fact, under those circumstances, I think we'd be very surprised to be invited. At most, I think I would say, "Won't you please stay for a drink?" after the ceremony, if you are having cocktails or wine before the meal (and she will probably decline that).


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