Based on the info that the OP posted, I don't see any reason why she shouldn't have a gift registry at one or even 2 different stores. Based on the info provided, she is really going to host a wedding reception the day after her wedding, which is an immediate family attendance only. It may have been that originally gift registries where full of hugely expensive items of crystal, silver, and very costly place settings, but that was then not now. Why should there be a restriction on what should and should not be placed on a gift registry for a wedding? Why is it wrong to have a vegetable peeler or shower curtain or anything else? Many couples have set up gift registries at the local home depot or hardware store. Those stores have the type of merchandise that the couple would like to have for gifts. They may or may not be interested in fancy dishes, silverware etc. Isn't the idea of a gift to buy something that the recipient would like, not what you like or believe they recipient should like or want? Something that the OP posted in her second post really seems to have been missed by just about everyone that has posted. We do have basics, but most of all this is hand-me-downs that were give to us directly after Hurricane Katrina put 8 feet of water into our apartment. We have the bare bones, I guess you would say. Key words being basics, hand-me-downs. We have the bare bones, I guess you would say. given after Hurricane Katrina put 8 feet of water into our apartment This couple lost everything during a catastrophic hurricane. They have hand me downs they are using. building a new home instead of a huge fancy wedding. They don't sound like a couple that is looking for the fancy stuff of a traditional wedding registry, but rather the basics that are new and not "hand me downs." Things like new pots and pans, kitchen knives, bath towels, linens, a decent set of dishes, glasses. They sound like very, very practical young people and want to share their joy of getting married and having a new home with their friends and family. A practical couple will not be looking for the lenox crystal, waterford, etc. In today's economy, a registry of practical gifts, at practical prices, located at stores that sell items that won't break the bank for anyone is exactly what this couple should do. People today don't have a lot of free cash to spare, so being able to buy a practical item that is on a gift registry is wonderful for them. If the items are small and not costly, several items can be purchased by 1 person and made to look like quite a bit. I am not young either and I've been married for almost 34 years. I've never had the lenox or the waterford or any of the fancy sterling sliver nor have I ever wanted it, nor do either of my children or friends. I've been to quite a few weddings over the years, including several in the past 7 years. None of the gift registries had the fancy stuff on it, none of the couples, bride or groom wanted any of it. Yes, the cute stuff was on it, the veggie peelers, the knives, the shower curtain etc. and guests where hugely impressed with those items that where listed, the economic thoughts that went into the selections on the gift registries, and no one, young or old, ever thought that gift registries where cheap or shouldn't have had those items on it. In this economy, people don't know if they will have a job from one day to the next, be able to pay the bills or have a home to live in. Setting up gift registries for bridal showers, weddings and putting those old fashioned absurdly priced items on them is not the thing to do. These registries need to have the basics on them that a couple will need and want, not the fancy stuff. Unless one is thinking that they could pawn the gifts off somewhere and obtain cash for them. That's just my opinion and hope this couple does register for gifts and has a list that is practical and useful and forgets the fancy stuff that will probably never be used.

Talley Sue has it exactly right, as always. Send invitations, not announcements, to those whom you want to invite. Don't send some "casual" invitations and some "formal" -- all the same, whether or not you think they will attend. Don't overdo it in an attempt to be helpful; it very quickly becomes pushy. I understand that you want to give people plenty of time to plan (and save up). But unless you run with a very wealthy crowd, please understand that very few people will be able to accept your invitation, and don't feel hurt that most cannot. (If they don't, it won't be because you didn't send them enough brochures and stuff early.) I think you can even pretty much figure on only your closest family and friends, and probably relatively few of them. That being the case, it should be easy just to let them know (if they don't already) that the wedding will be in Jamaica and what the date is. I would do this by phone call, a handwritten note, or e-mail, not a printed "pre-invitation" (you save a little money that way, too). You can either ask them if they'd like you to send the info about the resort, or just included it with a letter or as an e-mail attachment. I'm happy for you that some of your friends or relatives (you just said "couples") say they are planning to attend. Expect some drop-off, though. My cousin had his wedding in Kenya (where his fiance's family lived, not just because it was cool), and they sent us all info that did make it seem like the trip of a lifetime. Although several of us said we'd try to come, and we meant it (at least before learning the cost!), in the none of us did. Yes, it would have been amazing. But if I am going to save up that kind of dough, I want it to be for MY trip of a lifetime, not someone else's. Jamaica would be a lot less than Kenya, but it is still an expensive trip for just a weekend (except maybe for Floridians) so you may be contemplating everyone making it a whole week or something. But please understand that few people will be able to arrange their vacation schedules around your wedding plans, and even those who could might prefer to choose their own destinations and arrangements for what will be rather an expensive trip and possibly their only vacation of the year. There is another string going on about destination weddings right now; you might want to check it out. Is there some reason that the ceremony itself, not just the honeymoon, has to be in Jamaica?

Yep yep yep. You are lovely friends, giving a party in honor of your friends who got married. You are being careful not to make the slightest suggestion that anyone expects guests to buy gifts, or even any acknowledgement that they might. Also, don't worry about whether to call it a post-wedding reception or something like that. In fact, if I were doing this, I would just word the invitation something like, "Please come to/You are invited to to/Mary Smith requests the pleasure of your company at [or whatever the formality of the occasion dictates] a party in honor of Cuthbert and Petunia Jones [or Cuthbert Miller and Petunia Jones, if they have different last names, or I guess also if the invitations go out before she changes her name]/date/time/place" You don't even have to mention anything about the wedding on the invitation. I wouldn't. Anyone close enough to invite to the part presumably knows that they are getting married, and that's obviously why you are honoring them. The less you refer to it on the invitation, the less likely anyone will think that the idea is to rustle up some gifts. But it seems to me that anyone as nice as you probably travels in a circle that doesn't assume nastiness, and the invitees' response will be more like, "Oh, isn't that nice of Mary to do that. I'm glad we'll all get to celebrate, even though it's going to be a small wedding. I wish I'd thought of it myself." I don't see anything wrong with this even if they had had a big wedding. So there! :-)

Gellchom great post. If it was me, I'd probably put the wedding on hold until I knew for sure what was going on. Although it appears they have remained friends after the breakup, it's an uncomfortable situation for the bride. I don't see what the big deal is that she not go to the wedding either. Marriage is about give and take, compromise. This marriage doesn't appear to be starting off too well. The OP will always wonder about them, it's not going to go away. 4. She lives on the other side of the country. But my fiance had to spend about 1 month in her city for work, and would meet up with her a lot during this time. After he came back, he slipped up and called me by her name. That was probably the last straw that made me decide: I really don't like this girl. If it was me, I'd give him a week or 2 to decide who matters in his life. I would feel uncomfortable after that. Who knows if they reconnected, (not necessarily sex) and now wonder about their feelings for each other? Why is it so important she come? 5. To be fair, he doesn't talk with her much anymore, and he has cut back on talking with her a lot (compared to how much he did before we met) How do you know? Could he erase text messages? How about on the computer? IM? What about gaming? I'm not there (obviously) but from your post, I don't see how you 2 will be able to spend the rest of your lives together with her hanging over your relationship. Marriage is very hard and something like this makes it even harder.