If this is what the host(s) told you to do, I'm really puzzled. Usually showers are for kitchen or other household items -- sometimes around a theme, like hour of the day -- or else for fancy lingerie, the (rather outdated!) idea being that these are things women don't need before marriage but do afterward, hence the whole original point of the shower, and the reason they are traditionally given only for first marriages: to outfit her for her new life. If for some reason the bride can't use that stuff, first marriage or not, why give a shower instead of some other kind of party? If I were invited to give just a general present -- specifically NOT household or lingerie -- just for the sake of giving additional gifts to someone who apparently doesn't need a shower to get basics and who is already getting wedding gifts, I would be kind of put off.

I would go along with it, though, and I think I would try to get her something sort of related to or useful for the wedding or the planning anyway: photo album, pen, cosmetic bag, passport holder (if they are going on an international honeymoon) etc., if only on the general gift-giving principle of trying to think of something related to something going on in the recipient's life.

I like the evening shawl--pashmina or cashmere, maybe. They're surprisingly warm. If you got one in white (esp. sparkly) or in the wedding color(s), you'd increase the chances that she'd find it useful on the day of the wedding itself.

You could add even more "personal touches" or make it fancier if you got a plain one, by sewing on a trim, or beads, or something (though watch out for whether the shawl will be comfortable if she leans back while wearing it--you don't want lots of little beads poking her and making her uncomfortable).

You're not the only person, by far, to ask total strangers to help you pick out something personal and special--but it always strikes me as odd.

For a gift to be truly personal, it needs to have some resonance between you & the recipient. If you don't know her well enough to come up w/ something personal based on what you know about her, it won't be very personal.

And I'm wondering, personal to whom? To you, in that you invested some of YOUR person in it? in which case, what matters to you? I usu. give baking pans at showers, and I consider that a "personal" gift in that it is from me personally. I put my own personal taste and opinions and regard in it--I love to bake, use baking pans w/ Pillsbury tubes & to reheat pizza, and firmly believe that most brides in my circles start out w/ way too few. So, I give them a piece of myself.

Or do you mean, "personal to the bride," in that it has some of HER personality invested in it? In which case, what do you know about her? About her values, her tastes, her activities, her wish-list? The most personal present I ever got was a pizza cutter! No lie, I'd admired my friend's Pampered Chef pizza cutter w/ slip-on case, and **she remembered.** I laughed so hard when I opened it, and felt so loved, because she *remembered.* That gift was give to me, personally, and not to some "category": "my friend the mom" or "my friend the baker." it was to "Talley Sue who told me she wanted one."

So, what has the bride said? What object has she admired, of yours, or in a store, or a catalog? Get that.

Or, do you mean "personal" as in "intended for her personal use and enjoyment as opposed to being used for her household"--the way a jewelry box is personal and a sofa pillow is not; or a blouse is personal and an apron is not. In which case, get something that you think is fun, or lovely, or useful. I've taken, w/ my friend who bought me the pizza cutter, to buying her things *I* would love to own (but either know I wouldn't really use, or don't feel rich enough to buy). So, I've bought her
-aqua-crystal & silver jewelry
-a small faux-leather-covered travel jewelry box similar to this (in fact, I really like this one--wonder who I can drop a hint to...)
-an umbrella with the collapsible cap to catch drips (to keep her car seat from getting wet, sinc eshe lives in Car Land and I do not.)

Thanks all.