Same goes for "showers", people not only have to buy a wedding gift but also a shower gift. Everything is so expensive these days, by the time you buy new clothes for the wedding, maybe pay for a hotel, buy wedding gifts, shower gifts, you have to mortgage your house.

I'm also the sort of person who doesn't feel the need to buy a new outfit to go to a wedding, though it is a fantastic excuse if I'm just looking for a reason to buy something new for myself. And my first consideration when buying any gift is my budget, then I start thinking about the recipient.

Some weddings I've gone to, I wish I didn't have to. I know the bride and groom, but the wedding isn't going to be that fun--or doesn't turn out to be that fun.

In my case it's the large extended family that I hardly know, and I sit around making small talk w/ these ultra conventional people--perfectly nice, but really boring conversation. And the music nowadays isn't that enjoyable. Dancing to techno-pop just seems like work.

however, I also know, in the two weddings I'm thinking of, I have great, great affection of the bride and groom. It's not their fault that the family is so big and so boring. And everybody *else* loved the music. My being there was a way to convey my regard.

There are other weddings (and sometimes showers I don't attend but do send a gift to) where family politics distates that I attend. They're cousins, and though I don't consider them close, their parents would be insulted if we didn't show up.

I must add, the year the "sunshine club" decided to assign seats at the Christmas dinner wasn't fun. I got up and moved to an overflow table where a very nice couple was sent, because the woman making the seating charts had "forgotten" them! The people at the company -- well, some are great, others are not so much -- we had barely said hello, when three other couples joined me saying "no one should feel excluded at a company event!"
Susan

I attend weddings that I want to attend. But as for people I barely know, I have no problem sending my regrets and then a nice card. Friends' weddings have been really fun lately, and most are not doing traditional showers, thankfully.