I think that a dining table should have comfortable chairs. Benches are the worst! No back support, you are sharing with other people so you can't pull the chair to your comfortable distance from the table. PLEASE consider a set with comfortable chairs, or purchase them separately. Many furniture stores sell them chairs separate from the table, find a table you like and then find chairs that go with it. Make sure there is room for the chairs under the table if the table has a drop underneath. Dining should be a comfortable experience, not a torture chamber, even if it is just for the kids! I am with Kswl on every point, including the black for the color.

I have a DR that is almost 13' square so mine is close to your size. My DR table (without leaves) is almost exactly 56" square. It looks great when no one is eating at it, but even without putting in a leaf (it will seat 5 a bit crowded, 4 better), it is hard to get around. I have a small sideboard on one wall, a chest on another wall, and no furniture on the 3rd/4th walls and it's still crowded. Serving is a nightmare as I cannot get behind the chairs to go around the table. If I put in a leaf (my leaves are about 24" wide), I can seat 6 comfortably. One Christmas, I had to put in 2 leaves, and the people at the end, well, one had his chair practically in the entrance into the LR, and the other was up against the french doors that lead to outside - it was awful and this was to seat 9 people! I cannot imagine how you can possibly use your table in this room, or any other table and hope to seat 10 people. It's just not big enough. It takes a BIG DR to hold a table that can seat 10 comfortably. My DD has a DR that is 15' x 16 1/2'. Her table is 52" wide and if she uses small chairs, she can seat two at each end and with two leaves in her table (a triple pedestal table), she can seat 4 down each side, thus 12 in total. One time, she seated 14 - it was very cramped - no b&b plates, single wine glass in the table setting.

leelee, those numbers are extremely optimistic and don't account for chairs size, people size, or being able to push the chairs in a bit at the end of the day for a nicer look. I have nice size chairs that are very comfortable and six chairs is the everyday maximum for my 60" round table. I can squeeze in a 7th chair. Make sure you mock up the table and your chair size to get an accurate representation of how many chairs/people will actually fit in your set up. Those numbers might be for rental event furniture where you are using slim folding chairs.

I think that tall back windsor style chairs can have a lot of look around a 48" table and will make it feel too cramped. Look at pics of them with 4 around a table and see what the size room looks like. I too think the chandelier is a bit too big but it is ok because the arms are slender. I think if you pair it with all the spindles in a windsor chair, that area is going to start looking like a bar code! Also, given that your husband is a large man, I would absolutely not get a cheap chair you have to assemble. Go to a store where you can sit on them and feel what they are like for both comfort and quality. And pay attention to the width of the seat no matter what chair you get.