When I worked weddings back in the 80s most weddings averaged around 150-200 guests. It was a moderately-priced venue - you could do fancy but most people stuck to the basics (stuffed chicken!). Family-style meals were also common (and probably the least expensive option I think). We didn't do buffets for weddings. There were weddings in the 200s but over 300 was extremely rare. Anything larger couldn't fit in our building so that's why we didn't see the really big ones. There could have been plenty of those big weddings at other venues for all I know but I doubt it

Hi everyone -- Just thought I'd post an update and a thank you! Reception went off with nary a hitch on Saturday. Final menu consisted of: Veggie and fruit trays Shrimp Cocktail Sweet n' Sour Meatballs Mini Egg Rolls Small Turkey/Ham Wraps Sausage and Cheese Biscuits Burgundy Mushrooms Deviled Eggs Assorted Cheeses and Crackers Brie with Fig Compote Topping Tortilla Chips and Cowboy Caviar Potato Chips Pickles and Olives Coffee, Punch, Iced Tea and Water The 85 people that she confirmed actually ended up being more like 65-70. So, we had a fair amount of food left over. I made an ice bowl to display the shrimp -- it turned out beautifully. I was so proud! LOL I agree with Linda that Brie can get rubbery if left out too long, but past experience has shown me that it usually doesn't last long enough to get cold. And, true to form, people just gobbled it down. Could have made a lot more eggs -- those went quickly as well. I'm not an egg person myself, so I forget how much people love them at parties. People were definitely hungry and went through the line several times -- no one was shy, thank goodness. I did use the small plates, and some people used two at a time, so I'm glad I planned for extra food. Everything else was good and our one minor fiasco was that I burned the egg rolls when heating them up. Not sure if it was the strange oven I was using (should have brought my own oven thermometer) or that they'd thawed out slightly so cooked more quickly, or a combination of both. So, about half of them did burn and I didn't put them out, but we did okay anyway. So, all in all a successful event and I received loads and loads of compliments which was nice for the ego. ;) I stayed at budget, which she actually upped to $600. I think I came in around $550, but still finishing up the totals and taking a few things back to the store that weren't used. Took me all day to recover on Sunday, though. I'm getting too old for this stuff! LOL A big thank you to everyone -- your tips and advice were incredibly helpful. Thanks so much!

Children and weddings is always a hot topic... A few years back my oldest (and very dearest) niece was married. Most everyone was from both families lived out of town from the niece and therefore were travelling to where she was living for the wedding "weekend" (breaker party on Friday for those arriving early, wedding on Saturday, and picnic on Sunday)... months prior to the wedding we were told it would be an "adults only" reception on Saturday, but not to worry, they were arranging for babysitting for all the children. At the time I my children were 12, 10, and 6... the invitations arrive and sure enough they said Family party Friday night, adults only reception Saturday night, and family picnic on Sunday afternoon... but there is no mention of the babysitting for Saturday night... During many conversations with family members, no one is saying anything about the children AT ALL, even when I raise the issue of Saturday night. So, I called the hotel and looked into their "hire a stranger" service... which to say the least I was less than impressed with. Then about 2 weeks before the event it finally "slips" out that oh... didn't we know, all the other cousins ARE invited to the ADULT reception (ages 13, 14,15, 17) they are counting them adults. Well... blow me down! I guess I was an a@@ for assuming that adults were 18+ or maybe even 21+ given the alcohol serving issues.... but no, we were told they drew an imaginary "adult" line... and gee... mine children were the only children in the family (both sides) not invited.... which, btw, means I do NOT have potential sitters witht he nieces and nephews (which explains the drop of conversation whenever I raised that topic!) And yeah, the niece decided not to arrange child care like she was going to. Didn't I realize this on my own? Long and short of it was we ended up opting NOT to attend. We do not live near any relatives from either side of the family and we would have had to to travel on Friday afternoon and return on Sunday afternooon (at the bare minimum) to get to/from the ceremony and reception only. We didn't have any one locally to leave 3 children with for over 48 hours at a minimum.... Boy did we hear about the decision not to go from EVERY family member under the sun... how could we disappoint our niece this way??? Let's see... I was willing to let my children stay with a sitter... wasn't happy about the hotel service... but probably would have sucked in (although to be brutally honest here, I had expected when my niece did not arrange for sitters, that I would hire the other "older non-adult" nieces/nephews to watch them during the adult reception time.) Several years later this is STILL a topic of family problems... and my oldest in particular, has little interest in her oldest cousin as a result of being "left out".... All three knew we were planning to attend the wedding and other festivities, and then we told all three there was a change of plans and we were no longer going. I know my niece did not intend for us to be upset by an adults only invitation, and truthfully when we were under the impression that it was truely 'adults' and therefore NONE of the minor cousins we were fine with it.... by the same token I did not intend to upset a bride with our decision not to attend... but look at the position I was put in... we've all travelled here for a multi-day family event and on Saturday night I have to say to my children (while no one else is) that you can't come with us as it's adults only, but yes indeed your cousins who are not adults can come with us.... as a parent I could not do that to them... so we opted out... To be fair to my niece, she later said if they knew how many people would decline to attend (most due to child care issues) they never would have done adults only.... remember... basically everyone had to travel, a fair distance (6+ hours in most cases), leaving on a Friday and returning on a Sunday, for the shortest of the travellers... so anyone with children had to arrange for weekend care for them... if they didn't live near other family not invited to the function, they either had to ask friends to take their children for a weekend, or bring them along and deal with the hire a stranger service.... when you don't have children yourself, you can't begin to understand how hard it is to find people to drop your children on for a weekend.... or how disagreeable of an idea it is to leave them with a stranger.... The whole topic just makes me sad... it's not that our family (entire extended family I mean) had "problems" with this... everyone understood why we opted out... or that they didn't agree with both sides of the topic... or that we don't feel it IS entirely up to the bride and groom to decide whatever they want (we do)... it's just a very touchy thing still years later... we've never been shown wedding photos yet we all know they exist... the wedding was never spoken about with us after it happened or in the years since... it's almost as though everyone in the family wants to forget the day happened when we're around... and it all could have been avoided with clear communication upfront... I KNOW my niece wasn't prepared for us NOT to attend, she called me in tears talking about how their decision had caused so many people not to attend and how she wished she haad known ahead of time that would happen. My sister called, my mother called. All three understood our position and agreed with us. That did not change the situation, nor did we expect it to... Those planning weddings with many out of area invitees with children really need to be prepared for them to decide it is best for them not to attend if they are not willing to have something arranged for the children of those invited IF they are not being invited to the festivities... Not everyone has childcare available for a couple of days and nights to be able to leave their children behind. Now, several years later, my niece as a 1 year old herself, and was quite put out recently when they were invited to an out of town wedding without their child... Luckily for her it was a cople hours away and she could use a frined to watch her daughter for the day and still return home that night. But I admit to having a moment of 'ah... see the position you are in... this is what you did to others yourself'... but I still felt bad for her... because she was once again apologizing to me while complaining about this dilema she had.... If your invitation says & Family.... bring the children along...

They called his mother an a**?! In front of you, too? You know, I'm not surprised she reacted the way she did. I mean, I think she was wrong about the guest list, but that's not exactly committing murder -- certainly not enough to justify calling your mother (and mother-in-law-to-be) names. What a mess. You must have been so embarrassed. I bet she will eventually attend the wedding, but I actually don't blame her for feeling so hurt and humiliated that she would feel right now like she doesn't want to. I wish they had found a more tactful way to make their point! How sad to risk spoiling such a wonderful occasion over something like a guest list. We all have our ideas of the perfect wedding, including the perfect size, but really, is it ever worth more than family harmony? And here you are, blameless, in the middle of it again. Good luck weathering this latest storm! It sounds like you are wisely keeping your own mouth shut and letting things work themselves out. It can't be easy, though -- I really feel for you.