Talley Sue has it exactly right, as always. Send invitations, not announcements, to those whom you want to invite. Don't send some "casual" invitations and some "formal" -- all the same, whether or not you think they will attend. Don't overdo it in an attempt to be helpful; it very quickly becomes pushy. I understand that you want to give people plenty of time to plan (and save up). But unless you run with a very wealthy crowd, please understand that very few people will be able to accept your invitation, and don't feel hurt that most cannot. (If they don't, it won't be because you didn't send them enough brochures and stuff early.) I think you can even pretty much figure on only your closest family and friends, and probably relatively few of them. That being the case, it should be easy just to let them know (if they don't already) that the wedding will be in Jamaica and what the date is. I would do this by phone call, a handwritten note, or e-mail, not a printed "pre-invitation" (you save a little money that way, too). You can either ask them if they'd like you to send the info about the resort, or just included it with a letter or as an e-mail attachment. I'm happy for you that some of your friends or relatives (you just said "couples") say they are planning to attend. Expect some drop-off, though. My cousin had his wedding in Kenya (where his fiance's family lived, not just because it was cool), and they sent us all info that did make it seem like the trip of a lifetime. Although several of us said we'd try to come, and we meant it (at least before learning the cost!), in the none of us did. Yes, it would have been amazing. But if I am going to save up that kind of dough, I want it to be for MY trip of a lifetime, not someone else's. Jamaica would be a lot less than Kenya, but it is still an expensive trip for just a weekend (except maybe for Floridians) so you may be contemplating everyone making it a whole week or something. But please understand that few people will be able to arrange their vacation schedules around your wedding plans, and even those who could might prefer to choose their own destinations and arrangements for what will be rather an expensive trip and possibly their only vacation of the year. There is another string going on about destination weddings right now; you might want to check it out. Is there some reason that the ceremony itself, not just the honeymoon, has to be in Jamaica?

Interesting how many think this is tacky. I guess it is tacky mentioning gifts on a wedding invitation. But, we ARE going to give a gift and why not something that the couple can use? If they need money, then just give what you would have spent. I think some do not like giving money because they think if they give the "crystal vase" no one will know how much they actually spent on it. I love the idea of a registry. As pointed out, you can spend a few dollars up to thousands. Your choice. It is what they WANT. My husband was funny once. He didn't like the shade of green for a high chair I was buying. He didn't get the concept of the registry and thought I should pick a different color. Bottom line, give what you can afford and make no excuses for it.

It sounds to me like someone checked off the names they wanted in Outlook or a similar contact manager and paid no attention at all to how the names were said or if there would be a question as to whether it meant plus spouses, plus children, etc. Not so much lacking in etiquette as utterly clueless about how to make a guest list in the first place. Anne, good for you for sticking with the notion that these are good friends even when feelings were being hurt. There are a heck of a lot of clueless people in the world and it would be a lonely place if we dumped all of them just for one thoughtless gaff. As to gifts, thinking along the lines of Littlebug's joke, how about a home organizer kit? If they're combining two households, plus wedding gifts, they probably have a lot of stuff, some of it valuable. A home organizer kit, with one of those engraving pens for marking electronics, ledgers (spreadsheets) for insureables, pouches for receipts, a binder for insurance policies, bank documents, trust papers, etc., a file box for instruction manuals, plus things like note paper to write the stories of heirlooms on, colorful stickers, maybe even a garage sale kit, could also help them learn to be organized. :) Or you can get them something as random as the invitation. Go to a china shop or department store with a good return policy for bridal and get the most interesting looking random thing in your price range. Maybe a glass and silver pickle jar or a strange art glass vase.

Thank you Rita. Its been a terriable day.I found tiny ants so small I could hardly see them in my pantry they even got in the peanut butter so except for a few cans everything was a total loss. I have been crying off and on all day. couldn't have happened at a worse time. Tim has had problems with this ear for months...last spring I took him to the ER for strep throat and a clogged feeling in his ear. Doc told the RN to irrigate the ear as it had a wax ball...I seen this happen but wasn't fast enough to stop it...nurse used a large syringe with a long plastic thing on the end..she filled the syringe with sterile water and instead of placing it just at the opening of his ear..she pushed it down into his ear..Tim screamed...to make a long story short..the doc came in and said all was fine that Tims just sensitive..laying on a blue pad on the bed was the used syringe and blood was on the pad not a lot just smears...the doctor wrapped it all up and instead of throwing it in the trash in the room she removed it from the room...Tim was holding his ear and very much crying.we left and drove 45 minutes to Pittsburgh Childrens Hospital where we found there was a large hole thru the ear drum..exactly what I knew. Anyway Tim has had 4 infections in this ear since. No I didn't talk to an attorney but I should have. When it rains it pours. I didn't get a pic of Amiee so ill try when she gets back. They left here at 1 and Amiee has called me 6 times now. LOL She thinks she will come home soon and says her feet and legs are going to swell a lot tonight but she knew this would happen...sometimes its worth the pain....I know that might sound harsh and I don't mean it that way but if your chronic you realize some things are just worth it..I hope this makes sense. By the way she wore a more flesh toned pink shadow, but in my opinion went a smidge heavy on the liner Lol. She looked very cute. Kody told her she was beautiful and he would be watching the guys closely LOL.. Oh she said she's hungry that all the food was greasy and she won't eat anything she sees visible oil on. I am sorry I didn't get a pic I was so overwhelmed here that by the time I thought about it they were pulling out. You are all the best.