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Color for Mother of Bride and Groom's Mother

17 years ago

My daughter's wedding colors are apple, white and black. I have bought a beige suit. Should I be wearing a color that would compliment the bridal party's or am I okay choosing a neutral color?

Comments (13)

jmca
Original Author
17 years ago
I am the MOB.
talley_sue_nyc
17 years ago
oops--you goofed! the MOG is supposed to "shut up and wear beige," LOL!

No, just kidding, you'll be fine.

The biggest thing is, the MOB and MOG shouldn't try to *match* the wedding party's colors, bcs they're not actually IN the wedding party.

They just need to pick a color that won't clash--either w/ the wedding party, or w/ each other. (bcs they'll be in lifetime-long pictures together)

After that, they get to pick something they look good in, and feel good wearing.

And the MOB is supposed to pick first, then politely let the MOG know what it is, so she can pick.
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So at long last I have an update. I did try on quite a few- and ended up with 3 finalists. I anguish over most decisions, this one included. The original one, I tried on again and didn't love it as much and also realized that while I could wear a strapless bra if I were perhaps a guest, as mother of the bride who wants to dance and go crazy, that was not an option. I spent m time at the stores, and also ordered quite a few (at the end, I was ordering dresses in 2 sizes because you never know. ( I don't know how the picture will show up but I got this dress in navy and I love it. It is understated but has some bling, is long but not sweeping the floor, very flattering on and-------has a short sleeve bolero jacket for coverage but looks good without It as well. I actually took it to a tailor today to tweak it. It covers me fine, but she will raise the straps a tad and also ensure that the bra straps are totally covered. I am very excited and cannot wait to wear it. and----it's comfy!!! Now for shoes. I know I want strappy, and am looking for super comfy but of course pretty. I think a wedge could work since it is a garden wedding......... but yay I have a dress!! Here is a link that might be useful: prettiness
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Well, I do think the bride and groom are going up to camp for a few days before the wedding. But when the relatives arrive, they will be staying in the hotel with everyone. Both of our sons will share a room; our younger son is best man. The bride will share a room with her sister, who will be matron of honor. They had a favorite, very popular double campsite in Big Sur that they really wanted, but they needed 2 adjoining ones to accommodate the expected 50 guests, and they could only get one. (The whole family was online registering for those 2 sites the minute they opened them for reservations.) However, they had already put money down to hold their alternate site which is also beautiful. We will use it; it has gorgeous big redwoods and views of the river, I think. I wanted to discourage them from camping that week, picturing a bride full of mosquito bites and a dress crushed into their car and tent with all the equipment they would need, but they have it all figured out and this is what they want. We want them to be happy. (My brother is driving up, so we have enlisted their help in transporting the wedding dress to avoid their cramming it into the car with their camping gear.) The rehearsal dinner is also at a camp site, and the local camp vendor is going to cater it. I assume hamburgers or BBQ chicken. We will all arrive just in time to get to the rehearsal dinner as it is quite a trek to get there, even by plane. No one lives locally, which would have been a big help. The bride and her mother and our son are planning the locales, decorations, menu and everything. We are paying the bill. Hopefully, this will be the wedding of our bride's dreams. The reception is at their favorite restaurant in Big Sur.
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Comments (3)
I was mother of the groom three years ago (you can search this board and find a picture of my dress, but truthfully that won't be any help -- ) and now am mother of the bride. And I am built very similarly to you - an inch shorter, even. I can give you this advice: SHOP IN A STORE, not on line. Unless you are very easy to fit -- i.e., tall and thin, which let's face it we aren't! -- it's very hard to find a flattering dress, especially a long gown. Even when they look good on us, they don't look at all like they do on the pictures of the 5'10" size 4 models; it's like a different dress. Even my future son-in-law's young, gorgeous sisters didn't like the first set of dresses they ordered on line that looked so perfect in the pictures once they actually got them, so they are starting over. If you really don't live in or aren't visiting a city where you can try on, then I guess you have no choice but to order a bunch of returnable dresses on line and hope that one looks good and send back the rest. But I would still start by visiting local stores just to see which cuts look good on you. I had zero luck at bridal shops. The clerks told me that it wasn't my imagination: the mother-of-the dresses are mostly designed for tall women. Of course they will make yours in your size, but all the details are out of proportion. I also think that the styles are usually kinda unoriginal and matronly compared to the dresses you can find in shops or department stores. (For both weddings, all the grandmothers, all in their 80s, found their dresses in bridal shops.) They just don't look like anything you'd buy another time, let alone that you'd see on the red carpet. Plus, they take forever to come in, they aren't cheap, and they aren't returnable if they don't look like you had hoped. So unless the bride insists on a matching fabric or something (which she shouldn't, but if she does, humor her!), I'd skip the bridal shops. You can look at lots of pictures of other moms, but it's not really going to help. You need to find what looks good on YOU. If you live near a store with a free personal shopper service, USE IT. You don't even have to buy anything. I found my dresses out of town but used the Nordstrom free personal shopper for help finding accessories and undergarments. What a huge help that was, and believe it or not it ended up SAVING me some money and definitely a lot of time. And it was fun! So, tell us: what kind of dress do you need? Day, night, long, short, dressy, not so dressy? What time of day and time of year is the wedding? What is the venue? Do you think you will have future occasions to wear this dress again? Do you have any particular jewelry or accessories that make you feel wonderful and/or have sentimental meaning that you'd like to wear for the wedding that could give you a starting point? What is your all-time favorite dress you've ever had? Do you know what the bride's mother is wearing? Try to match that in terms of formality and probably length. Does the bride want you in a specific color scheme? If not, great -- choose what looks best on you when you try on, although I suppose avoid things that will clash like mad in the photos (it's NOT the time for black, green, and orange day-glo polka dots!). Keep an open mind when you shop. I was glad I tried on styles and colors I didn't think would look good on me; I got some surprises in both directions. Happy hunting, and congratulations on your son's marriage.
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Comments (14)
I would like a wedding coordinators opinion - is the following in bad taste? or am I too sensitive..my son was married a couple of months ago, i was seated in the back table at the reception, by the kitchen, and prevented from being in the photos. When I asked the wedding planner about pictures with the grooms family and the mother of the groom she said, not on the schedule! I was stunned. The night before he told me I was the best mother in the world, of course I had just deposited $10,000.00 in his account. A month before the wedding the bride sent me the dress she wanted me to wear, she got it for $50.00 off Amazon, she wore a $10,000.00 Vera Wang that my son bought for her. Now there are hundreds of pics online with her family - not one of me.. They re indignant that I dare feel bad because I was seated in the back and didn't get my picture taken, They tell me that it was THEIR day and I should just keep my mouth shut..I didn't see it coming, although the bride said before the wedding that she thought me, a single mother, and my sons were too close..well, she's just done a great job of breaking that up. I feel completely shutout and it hs been devastating.. This post was edited by Serenitynot on Sat, Jan 26, 13 at 23:05
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gellchom
17 years ago
I completely agree with Talley Sue -- just something that won't clash or look too "look-at-me!" flashy up there (e.g., cut down-to-there with big polka dots or stripes).

When I got married, my mother-in-law just couldn't or wouldn't catch on to this. The attendants were wearing a sort of cherry pink/red. No matter how many times anyone told her to where whatever color she wanted (my mom's dress was a very soft rose) she went so crazy trying to match the attendants' dresses EXACTLY that she even sent me a swatch. Then she obsessed over whether it was okay that her dress had a turquoise sash, whether it was inappropriate that there was white lace on the top, whether the fabric should be the same as my mom's dress -- etc. I think we goofed by trying to reassure her that it didn't matter, she should just choose something she loved, because I see now that she needed to feel like it WAS important what she wore.

jmca, I think you are doing exactly the right thing. Beige will be perfect, neither clashing with their (very refreshing) color scheme nor looking like you are trying to be a bridesmaid. If you look great in that outfit and love it, that's the one!

Congratulations to you all -- and to you, too, ogoopogo! What an exciting year!
scarlett2001
17 years ago
What color is apple? Is it red or apple green? Just curious.
diana55
17 years ago
Who cares what the mother is wearing? It's the bride that everyone will be looking at!!! Diana
talley_sue_nyc
17 years ago
"apple" is usually Granny Smith green
sweet_pea10
17 years ago
In my area, when someone says they are wearing "apple" they mean a bright candy apple red.
gellchom
17 years ago
I went to a really beautiful wedding Sunday. The clothes made me think of this string.

The bride's dress was long and white and sparkly, with a long row of buttons down the back. I overheard her saying she was so glad she'd had the train removed. It certainly still looked like a wedding gown. The mothers both wore almost white -- the bride's mom in a silvery white long suit, and the groom's in a dressy street length cream outfit. The female attendants all wore navy shantung (except a flower girl neice in periwinkle), but no two the same style; each dress was appropriate for her shape and age (I imagine they were from a bridesmaid collection, as they all seemed to be the same fabric). The bride has three sisters and one brother-in-law, and they were her attendants (evidently equal -- not one "of honor"). The groom's attendants were his sister and brother-in-law. There were also four (male) groomsmen, and they stood on his side, too.

It wasn't symmetric, and it may seem untraditional, but it all looked just perfect.
gw:mrs_micki
17 years ago
I cheated I took my dd with me and she helped me pick out my gown to wear at her wedding.I was happy, she was happy and we got to share afew hours together, and let me tell you we LOL the whole time. Our taste are so different. Newbie to this forum, glad I found it.Lots to know with up coming wedding and everyone has helped out with their post. Thanks bunches Micki
sweeby
14 years ago
What happened to the dates?
I know these responses are new, but they say 2006?...
lowspark
14 years ago
They are not new, they're old. However there WERE a bunch of new posts with discussion of the bride asking her mother to wear a specific dress... all those posts are missing.
jazadah
14 years ago
My dd picked my dress...it is not what I would have picked, but it's HER day, and I will suck it up...lol

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