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I second the vote for something that will allow for the weather. I've attended several weddings in Connecticut, traveling up from Fl. The first one I was not prepared for and had to go out and buy a light coat and sweater. Think dressy layers -- a semi formal suit would work or a nice dress with jacket. You are not quite into full cocktail time, so extra dressy may not be the "thing" as groomsman DH may be able to inquire regarding how fancy the bridesmaids and bridal gown will be; or even what the bride and grooms mothers will wear. That may allow you to dress in a more suiting manner. Just remember to smile and have fun! Susan Susan

That was really sweet of your DH to surprise you with the earrings. The screw backs were a very valid concern. I'm glad you told him & you both are happy now. I've had DH buy me things & I just didn't want to hurt his feelings but didn't really like the item either. Of course, he notices when I don't wear it & then his feelings are hurt because I'm not wearing it. Better to be honest, IMO. DH told me he wanted to buy me jewelry for Christmas. The mistake I've made in the past is hurting his feelings by telling him that we couldn't afford what he bought & actually getting upset with him for buying me something nice. I'm very fortunate to have such a sweet DH to keep surprising me after me doing this. So this year when he told me that he wanted to buy me jewelry, I told him that it really wasn't necessary, that I'd had plenty this year (we just built a house & bought quite a bit of new furniture). He said he still wanted to get me something. So I asked if it was ok if I went shopping with him so I could point out things I wanted. It worked out really great; I love my new jewelry & he was glad I went because I chose a white gold setting & he told me he would've gotten yellow gold.

How about this? Get some totes (or boxes). Put the clothes in these totes. Seal them. Date them, say, 60 days, 90 days, 120 days hence, etc. Agree that if he hasn't unsealed a tote by the date, you can donate the contents. I was going to suggest the same thing. I've done it for myself -- and I wasn't sorry. Maybe you can't get rid of these excess clothes, but you can pack them away neatly. Personally, about a year ago I went through my closet and got rid of about 60% of my clothes -- and I am thrilled with the result. I can't even remember specific garments I "lost", but I love that everything in my closet fits, everything is a complete outfit, and everything fits into the closet without stuffing. When I retire (in another year), I can't wait to ditch the khaki pants and unflattering polo shirts that I am occasionally required to wear to school -- I've come to resent "junk" in my closet. An unexpected benefit: I have become very discriminating about what I buy (not that this has been a big shopping year anyway). I find myself asking, "Does this deserve a space in my life?" and "Would I really wear this often enough to justify spending on it?" Honestly, the only thing I've really bought in the last year is a pair of red dress shoes -- and I really need another pair of jeans. This is maybe easier for me, given that I'm so close to retirement, because I've also vowed not to buy anything I can't imagine wearing in my retirement years. My DH is a slob. He was a slob when I married him (46 years ago) and he is still a slob. He will never change. His mother was a slob too. I have had to adjust to his ways as I’m a neatnick and OCD too. Pick your battles. Do you want to die on this hill? I could say the same; well, except that I never knew his mother -- she died when he was a teenager. When I want to kill him because of his slovenly ways, I force myself to think about all the things he does well: he's a good provider, a wonderful father, he always lets me drive the new car, he takes my car out every Sunday and fills it with gas, he supports me in my career, he and I share so many hobbies -- so many things. I can get angry about his slovenly ways, start a fight, and end up doing the cleaning myself anyway -- or I can do it myself and remember that he contributes in other ways. Tupelo: If your boyfriend is unwilling to change, then you must ask yourself if this is the future you want for yourself and your future children: a significant other who doesn't care about how you want to live, or perhaps is chronically overwhelmed by life or is simply lazy? Not taking care of one's intimate belongings for an extended period of time is a sign of issues that will impact your future and not in a good way, these are bad habits that interfere with the development of the individual and also a couple. Good point. The OP isn't formally connected to this guy yet -- and she can still choose just how big an impediment this is.