amy, There are many low budget items (even temporary shelters) that can be used to extend their gardening (or at least their harvesting, which in my opinion is the best part!). Have you considered a PVC or EMT hoop house (very low investment, and it can extend the gardening season 6 weeks or more, depending on how it is used (3 weeks in the early spring and 3 weeks into the fall)? This type of structure could be built in a weekend (with a few hands), and used to warm the soil and protect the plants from wind damage. Also, it can be used to keep the soil from getting drenched in the winter and help to keep the planting areas usable for more time. Also, if your parents are interested in winter greens, the harvest could continue throughout the winter until the spring plants are ready to go. This type of structure can also add in propagating cuttings as well. By protecting them in an unheated but sheltered environment, they will go through far less of the stress that traditional cuttings go through. It can also be used to overwinter perennials. Furthermore, given the area of the veggie bed you are describing, you could actually design it to go over the entire veggie garden, which would open up a world of possibilities. Just a thought. A couple of references to consider for this suggestion: Four Season Harvest by Eliot Coleman and 12 Month Gardener by Jeff Ashton. (Just something to consider.)

The tax implications about the IRA sound right, but I'm not an expert on that. The IRS allows gifts of $11,000 per recepient per year with no tax owed (the tax for more than $11K per year is paid by the giver). So your dad can give you $11K and $11K to your husband. However, since this will be going toward your downpayment, check with your mortgage person and see if your father has to fill out a gift letter. Mortgage lenders want to know that the money is gift and not another loan.

My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child.

so she expected you to store the shoes until & unless she called for them? How much was she paying you for storage? People are downright odd... my aunt gave me a sewing machine. she's 88 years old & she has a much newer model (this machine was one of the old heavy black metal Singers that sits in a cabinet). I couldn't get it to work right, but I figured I'd tinker with it when I had time. then my aunt called me & said, "sylvia, I want my sewing machine back." well... what're you gonna do? so I took it back. & she said that that wasn't her machine, & she wanted me to go get *her* machine. She refused to acknowledge that that was her sewing machine & that it didn't work right when she gave it to me! She told me she knew it wasn't hers because she had put a mark on hers (right, I always mark my heavy appliances & furniture, too), *& that this machine didn't work right*, & hers did. Now she's told her kids that I took her sewing machine & brought her this other one that doesn't work well. so everybody's mad at me. I should have told them the machine was broken & I'd put it in the trash. & my ex "gave" me a set of homemade stereo speakers & a big ugly waterbed that I couldn't stand (but he balanced the account by stealing several things). I traded the waterbed to the 15-year-old boy next door for yardwork. Then the ex showed up one afternoon & told me he'd come by "to pick up my speakers & the waterbed". & he was *offended* that I'd gotten rid of the waterbed! I let him take the speakers. What was the question? Take him a token sackful of baby clothes, whatever you can put your hands on fairly easily, & tell him these are the only ones you can find, if there were others, they must have been in a bunch you already gave to someone who needed them.