My favorite gift was a wood carving of a man and woman kissing--very stylized, not corny, very unusual. A friend gave it to me; she looked and looked for something decorative that would strike her, and she gave it to us about a year and a half after our wedding. She prowled artisan's shops, antiques shops, etc.

I honestly don't remember what my best friend gave me for my wedding--an afghan she'd knitted, I think, though that may have been a shower present. I *do* remember how much fun she was to have help me, and how great she "took care of me" on my wedding day--making me eat lunch, driving me around, remembering stuff I forgot, laughing at me when I said my face hurt from smiling too much, generally just easing my day.

My friend whose wedding I was in was worried she wouldn't get much off of her china off the registry, so i wanted to participate in that, but I didn't want to be just another place setting. So I bought her the platter--big-enough-ticket item, and the sort of thing that she might think of ME when she got it out (which she wouldn't w/ the place settings).

My favorite gift was (still is) a platter from my great-aunt. She and my uncle had received it as a wedding gift when she married into the family many years before, so she passed it on to me at my wedding. She could have bought me something new, but I liked this MUCH better.

I think that the best thing friends can do isn't so much before the wedding as at it, especially the reception: to help make sure everyone has a wonderful time. You know the bride and her family (or whoever is hosting) is worrying about that. So if the bridesmaids make an effort just generally to do what they can to keep the party fun and successful, that's really doing a wonderful thing, more than you would guess. You know: tell Aunt Sadie she looks fantastic, flirt just a little with Grandpa, ask that boring-looking couple how they met the bride and groom, get your table up on the dance floor .... I'm guessing you were probably thinking of something extra-special before the wedding, like a spa day or something, but in my experience, the friends who really contributed the most were the ones who sort of acted like secret co-hosts and made sure everyone was happy and having fun. Before the wedding, just keep telling the bride how great everything sounds and how excited you are, and tell everyone else that it's all just wonderful. That beats a manicure any day, in my book!

Your friend is lucky to have you. I can see why she chose you. Have fun!

in my experience, the friends who really contributed the most were the ones who sort of acted like secret co-hosts and made sure everyone was happy and having fun.

To this day, nearly 15 years later, I am fond of and grateful toward my husband's groomsmen.

They considered themselves my DH's ambassadors, and did everything they could to make a good impression on my friends and family (we married in my home town; his side was underrepresented). They showed up on time for the pictures, made conversation with all sorts of people. Made my DH look good--if he could have such pleasant, well-mannered, emthusiastic friends, he must be a great guy, right?

:) on one hand, the memory of my husband's best friend stepping in to save my wedding day for me- I'd already had dress trauma (needed to be sewed in to it after the zipper self-destructed) and my maid of honour came down with a 'fiance headache' that morning, and I found myself heading over to meet the decorating crew myself while she took a nap, already in my dress...

and found myself pretty much helpess, with a Chupa to erect, and flowers to array. I was working myself up into a 'oh, chuck it all' lather when John arrived on the scene, and gave real meaning to the term 'best man' in 15 minutes, the frame was together, the veils arrranged, the tables covered, and he'd chased me out to sit in the spring sunlight with a much-welcomed cigarette.

he ushered guests to their places, organized the rest of the wedding party, and when the MoH and her fiance (who was also the photographer) arrived, managed to impress upon him that he was only the most important person in the room as long as no member of the wedding party or family members were in the room.

I managed to get through the rest of the day with something akin to grace (which is hardly my usual state) purely because of him.

the best THING I got?

that I'll never be able to decide- everyone gave us brilliant and thoughtful gifts- one girl did our invitations, another made a lovely shadow box with the masters in it, a third put together a collage from the whole of our courtship for us, several friends ganged up and bought us the coolest ceiling fan in the world (we had been complaining about the nasty one that came with our house since the day we moved in, and the one we 'wanted' was way outside our budget)

though I have to give a special nod to the girl who not only did our wedding cake (in the shape of a flower very much like the tattoo on my shoulder) but brought us a HUGE old oakleaf hydrangea she had rescued from maurading deer, and helped me install it in my shade garden...that gives me pleasure every time I step out my back yard.

My best friend took pictures of all the preps for my wedding for several months. Family sitting around making favors, stuffing invitations. The spare bedroom turned into the "Brides Room". My bachelorette party, my showers, the getting ready in the morning. It seems she was there for everything and I never noticed her taking so many pictures. The morning after my wedding she presented me with an beautiful album that I will treasure forever!

bonelady, that is a WONDERFUL gift. What a nice friend you have. My mom and I took our camera around when we went shopping, met with florist/caterer, picked up people at the airport, etc., and put the pictures in an album with other stuff, like the letters we wrote back and forth when planning, souvenirs from parties, invitations, etc. It's a fun album that I think I enjoy even more than the wedding photos. But I can imagine that it would mean a hundred times more if a thoughtful friend had gone to the trouble of doing it. And she even got it all ready for you the day after the wedding. Lucky you!