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officient gift

20 years ago

what is considered a nice gift for the minister? Is a cash gift most common and most practical? If so, approximately how much would you give? I was thinking $150.00 but wasn't sure if that was in the appropriate range or not.

thanks,

meg

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Comments (11)

joann23456
20 years ago
Yes, cash is best. The officient is performing the service as part of his or her profession, and should be paid as such. If he or she is also a personal friend, a small personal gift in addition is nice, though not necessary.

As for the correct amount, that varies. You might ask other recently-married couples in your area or place of worship.
gellchom
20 years ago
One note: some congregations require the clergy to turn over cash gifts to the congregation or put them in a discretionary fund (esp. if s/he gets a decent salary, in which case doing weddings, etc., is considered part of the job for which the salary is given). The officiant may not care, but if that is the case in your congregation and you prefer to give him/her something to keep, give a "thing" gift or a gift certificate. Something small is just fine, especially in that circumstance. I'd avoid items engraved with the date, etc. -- what if everyone did that? His/her office would start to look like a gift shop. If you don't know him/her well enough to know what s/he enjoys, then maybe a plant, flowers, frame, book, or CD that you think s/he would like, or if you want to go bigger, a gc to a restaurant or a nice clothing store or salon. Another good idea is a contribution to a charity that s/he likes.
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HT, dp, 2013, 5-25-2011 Intense HT, my, 2011 Itsukushima HT,or, 2011 Jam and Jerusalem HT, ob, 2011 Jenna Clifford HT, pb, 2010 JimJimmy James (X), HT, or, 12-4-2011 Judy Lynn (X), HT, ab, 12-4-2011 Krtstal-Lynn HT, pb, 2011, 5-25-2011 Ladykiller HT, m, 2010 Ludwig HT, 7-28-2010>>>S, 9-2-2010 Madeline HT, yb, 2/9/2011, 2011-3 Magic Lamp HT, rb, 2011 Magnifica HT, dp, 2011 Mama Africa HT, r, 2011 Mama Jean HT, w, 2011, 5-25-2011 Mara Louw HT, yb, 2011 Miz Tis HT, w, 12-4-2011 Mojave Sunset (X), HT, ob, 12-4-2011 Morning Sky HT, dy, 2010 Mukta HT, lp, 5-25-2011 My Brother Jack HT, pb, 2011 Mysterieuse HT>>>>>>(F), 9-8-2010 Natalie Ann HT, m, 2/9/2011 Nike HT, 2010 N-Joy HT, pb, 8-19-2009 Our Ruby HT, rb, 7-31-2011, Party Hardy (X), HT, op, 12-4-2011 Petit Coquette HT, w, 2011 Pink Florence HT, mp, 2010 Pitahya HT, pb, 2010 Promesse Eternelle HT, m, 2011 Red Desire HT, mr, 2010 Resa G ( X), HT, rb, 12-4-2011 S Pandey HT, pb, 2004 Sally Michelle dp, 7-31-2011, 9-3-2011 Senorita HT, pb, 2011 Sepia Note HT, ob, 2010 Sister Jane HT, 9/10-2010, Shug (X), HT, mp, 12-4-2011 Sky Tree 21 HT, m, 7-31-2011 Souv de Baden-Baden HT, pb, 2011 Sunstar HT, dy, 2010 Super N-Joy pb, 2009>>>>>N-Joy Supernova (X), HT, w, 12-4-2011 Sweet Dekora HT, w, 2010 Sweet Parole HT, mp, 2011 Tania Norris HT, yb, 5-25-2011 Tblbeta pb, 3-5-07, 4/2007 Testarssa HT, dr, 2010 The Blushing Princess , yb, 10-26-2011 Toni (X), HT, dp, 12-4-2011 Toplesse HT, w, Vagarious , HT, ob, 10-26-2011 Valentino HT, mr, 2010 Wanda HT, ab,>>>>>>>>>(yb) Wanda Ferragamo HT, m, 2010 Wedding Bell HT, w, 2010 Wedding Bells HT, dp, 2011 White Handkerchief , HT, w, 10-2011 Young Rita HT, yb, 2007 Yu-Zen HT, mr, 2011 GRANDIFLORAS: (Gr.) Amelia , Gr, mp, 3-22-2011 Eclat de Tendresse Gr, mp, 2010 Twilight Zone Gr, m, 7-31-2011 Uptown Girl , Gr, op, 10-26-2011 Vic�s Refrain Gr, w, >>>>>>>>>(S) FLORIBUNDAS: (F) Abder F, 2011 Anne Birnhak F, mp, 2011 Bengail F, 2012 Bordure Apricot F, ab, 2010 Bossa Nova F, mp, 1992>>>Changed to a (Pol), >>>>> September 2004 "Rose", on pg. 7 Breath F, ab, 7-23-2010 Caramac Diana F, r, 5-30-2011 Charm F, mp, 2010 Coeurs De Vendee F, mr, 2011 Cream Veranda F, ab, 2011 Dad� Day , F, dr, 7-31-2011 Darling Charlie , F, op, 7-31-2011 Denise Anne (X), F, mp, 12-4-2011 Douglas F, or, 2011 Eleanor Masson F, ob, 2011 Equity F, mp, 2010 Estart F, dy, 2010 Fabulous at 50 (X), F, op, 12-4-2011 Famosa F , 2008 Firestar F, or, 2010 Flaming Redhead F, mr, 7-31-2011 Friend�s Forever F, >>>>>>(S) Gartenspab F, ob, 2010 Ginger Glow F, ob, 2011, 5-25-2011 Hannah Gordon Cl F, pb, 2010 Hansestadt Rostock F, ab, 2011 Harquest F, ab, 2009 Henrietta Elaine Marks F, ab, 5-25-2011 Iroha F, rb, 2011 Isle of View (X), F,dr, 12-4-2011 It�s Magic F, mr, 2002 Jan Cilliers F, my, 2011 Jugendiebe S, mr, 2011 June Elizabeth (X), F, pb, 12-4-2011 Kana Rose F, ob, 2011 Konigin Kunigunde F, 2011 Lila May F, lp, 2011 Love Song F, m, 7-31-2011 Mercedia F, ob, 2010 Mom F, m, 2011, 5-25-2011 Mysterieuse (F), 9-8-2010 Noir F, dr, 2010 Orange Bouquet F, op, 2010 Orange Velvet (X), F, ob, 12-4-2011 Out of Rosenheim F, dr, 2011 Pat�s Pink (X), F, dp, 12-4-2011 Puppy Kisses F, m, 2013, 5-25-2011 Purity F, w, 2011, 5-25-2011 Qunceanera (X), F, lp, 12-4-2011 Raspberry Ice F, rb, 17/25, 1989 Rawfabsal F, op, 10-26-2011>>>>> >>>Fabulous at 50 F, 12-4-2011 Red Galaxy (X), F, rb, 12-4-2011 San Diego Sweetheart F,>>>>>(M/F Saskia Jade (X), F, yb, 12-4-20110 Scent of Woman F, m, 2010 Scented Air F, m, 2010 Sepia Note F,>>>>>>>>>>>>(HT) Sharing A Happiness F, pb, 2011 Slim Dusty F, dy, 2010 Sparkle & Shine F, dy, 2012, 5-25-2011 Starry Eyed F, lp, 2/9/2011, 2011-3 Striped Frau Astrid Spath F, rb, Sunny Samba F, dy, 2011 Sweet Cailin F, ab, 2010 Sweet Caitlin F, ly, 2010 Sweet Milo F, m, 2011, 5-25-2011 The Last Dance F, my, 2010 Thelma G (X), F, ob, 12-4-2011 Vanessa�s Gift , F, m, 7-31-2011 MINIATURES: (Min) Akane Min, r, 2011 All a�Twitter Min, ob, 2012 Ann Hopper Min, pb, 2012, 5-25-2011 BENomen Min, 2011 AOE Boogie Woogie Min, rb, 2010, 5-25-2011 Butter Me Up Min, my, 2012, 5-25-2011 Daddy Frank TM>>>>>>Min, 8-18-2011 Daddy�s Little Girl Min>>>>>Daddy�s Little Girl TM Danillla Min>>>>>>>>(M/F) Dark Tiffany Min>>>>>>M/F) Diamond Eyes Min, m, 5-25-2011 Fading Love Min, 2009 Festa Min, 2000 Harpeep Min, 2009 Holly Tred Min, 1990 Janjin Min, dp, 7-31-2011 La Belle Carmen Min, mp, 1999 Layer Cake , Min, or, 10-26-2011 Mermaid Palace Min, or, 17/ 25, 2003 Nova Hit Min, lp, 17/25, 5-31-2010 Nova Hit Min>>>>>>>>(M/F) Peppermint Patty Min, mp, 2010 Petit Pink Min, pb, 5-27-2011 Pink Flemenco (X), Min , dp, 12-4-2011 Plum Sauce Min, m, 7-29-2010 Priscilla Plumbbob , Min, pb, 10-2011 Splash of Color (X), Cl Min, rb, 12-4-2011 Strawberry Cream (X), Min,pb, 12-4-2011 Toscana Balconia Min>>>>>>>(S) Triple Hit Min, rb, 2006 Urawa Red Diamonds Min, 2011 Yumeotome Min, pb Whimsy Min, pb, 7-31-2011 White Irish Splendor , Min, w, 10-2011 MINIFLORA: (MinFl) Affection >>>>>>>>Affection Hit Alicante >>>>>>>>>>Alicante Hit Amber Meillandina ob, 7-16-2010 Anna Mae M/F, 4-20-2010>>>>(HT) Bamoraltn dr, 26/40, 2006 Beautiful Anne M/F, r, 7-31-2011 Caroleen Hit TM M/F, dy, 5-30-2010 Daddy Frank TM M/F>>>>>>>(Min) Danillla Hit TM M/F, w, 5-30-2010 Dark Tiffany Hit TM dp, 5-30-2010 Delight Hit M/F, ab, 2006 Ellen Palace M/F, w, 26/40, 2009 Exciting Hit TM M/F, lp, 5-30-2010 Fading Love M/F, >>>>>>>>>>(Min) Flaming Hit M/F, ob, 5-30-2010 For Mickey M/F, dp, 9-2009, "Rose">>>> >>>Changed to (Vonna Mae), 9-2010 "Rose" Golden 2007 Hit TM dy, 5-30-2010 Golden Hit (M/F>> Golden 2007 Hit TM Golden Hit TM M/F, dy, 5-30-2010 Graceful Palace TM M/F, w, 5-28-2010 Gucci Hit TM M/F, pb, 5-30-2010 Hampton Palace M/F, w, 5-30-2010 Honora Hit M/F>> >>Honora Hit TM Honora Hit TM M/F , w, 5-30-2010 Isabel Hit M/F>>>>.( Isabel Hit TM) Isabel Hit TM M/F, dr, 5-30-2010 Judie M/F>>>>>( Judie Hit TM) Judie Hit TM M/F, ab, 8-11-2010 Laurent Hit M/F, my, 5-30-2010 Lillian Morgan M/F, m, 2.5", 5-25-2011 Lindsey�s Laugh , S, lp, 10-26-2011 Lo and Behold M/F>>>>>(M/F) Lo and Behold TM M/F, 3-31-2009 Loreal Hit TM M/F, ab, 5-30-2010 Lynn M/F>>>>>( Lynn TM) Lynn TM M/F, m, 7-28-2009 Madonna M/F>>>( Madonna Hit) Madonna Hit M/F, ab, 5-30-2010 Mermaid Palace Temp AEN>>>>(Min) Minnelli M/F>>>>( Minnelli Hit) Minnelli Hit M/F, ab, 5-22-2007 Misaki M/F, 2010, lp, 8-19-2010 Miss Reed M/F, dr, 2011, 5-25-2011 New Isabel TM >>>>>(New Isobel Hit) New Isobel Hit M/F, mr, 5-30-2010 Nova 2009 Hit M/F, mp, 5-30-2010 Nova Hit M/F, >>>>(Nova 2009 Hit) Palomino Hit M/F, ob, 5-31-2010 Patron M/F, >>>>>>>>(Patron TM) Patron TM M/F, dr, 2011, 2-9-2011 Plum Sauce M/F>>>>>Min, 2011 OL Polaris Hit M/F, w, 2006, 5-31-2010 Pride Palace TM, M/F, dr, 5-28-2010 Raspberry Ice rb->>>M/F, 10-5-2006>>> >>>Changed to a (F) in July 2010 "Rose" Rebekah Hit M/F, mp, 5-31-2010 San Diego Sweetheart M/F, ab, 2010 Sister Jane M/F, 3-12-2010>>>>>>HT Southern Peach (X), M/F, ab, 12-4-2011 Spirit Dance TM M/F, ob, 5-31-2010 Stella Hit TM M/F, ob, 5-31-2010 Toril Hit , M/F, dr, 2007, 5-31-2010 Triple Hit M/F, rb,>>>>>>>>(Min) Vonna Mae M/F, dp, 10-2010, "Rose" LARGE FLOWERED CLIMBER (LCl) Belgian Beauty LCl, m, Louis De Funes LCl, ob, 2011 Our Nan�s Sister , LCl, op, 10-26-2011 Peshpompom LCl>>>>>>>>>(S) Reaching the Sky , LCl, pb, 10-26-2011 Silence Is Golden LCl, ob, 2011 Smiley Faces LCl, my, 2011 POLYANTHA: (Pol) Bossa Nova Pol, mp, 9-2004>>>>> >>>Changed to Bossa Nova TM, 4-8-2010 Bouquet De Mariee Pol, mp, 2010 Komurasaki Pol, m,2011 Miss Crabtree ,, Pol, pb, 10-26-2011 Petit Pink Pol, mp, 2010 September Celebration w, 5-30-2011 CLASSIC SHRUBS: HYBRID MUSKS (HMsk) De Tous Mois** HMsk w, Kartause Lttingen HMsk, w, 2011 MODERN SHRUBS: (S) Addictive Love S, w, 2011 Alissar, Princess of Persia S, rb, 2010 American Legacy S, dp, 2010 Arabia S, ab, 2011 Black Forest Rose S, mr, 2011 Bull�s Eye S, w, 7-31-2011 C J�s True Love S, 2012, 5-25-2011 Cariad S, mp, 2011 Cinderella�s Song Darcey S, dr, 2011 Dawn Star S, lp, 2010 Eleanore Cruse S, 2007 Equity S, mp, 2010>>>>>>(F) Feeling S, mp, 2010 Folletto S, pb, 2011 Friend�s Forever (S), dp, 2010 Fun Jwan Lo ** S, w, Garden Of Roses S, w, 2011 Gartnerfreude S, op, 2010 Gerald Van Der Kamp S, 2005 Global Waters S, mp, 2011 Grandpa�s Boy S, lr, 2010 Jardin De Granville S, lp, 2011 Jeanne De Chedigny S, lp, 2011 Katla S, ob, 2011, 5-25-2011 Kew Gardens S, w, 7-7-2009, L�Oiseau Chanteur lp, 2/9/2011, 2011-3 La Maculee F, pb, 2010 La Roche Guyon S, dp, 2011 Lipstick S, dp, 2011 Lucia Melo S, dr, 7-31-2011 Ludwig S, 9-2-2010 J&P Madam S, p, 2011 Mango Salsa S, rb, 2010 Mary Susan S, ob, 2010 Mohanna S, yb, 2010 Monique Bouygues S, mp, 2011 Monplasir-Guydarmet S, rb, 2011 Moraya Rouge S, mr, 2011 Note Dame de Rosa S, 2011 Orchid Legacy S, m, 2008 Paul Brooks S, 2006 Peshpompom S, ly, 2010 Pinnatifide** S, mp, Pink Frost , S, pb, 2011 Premier Essai ** S, w, 1866 Princess Anne , S, mp, 10--26-2011 Raspberry Lemonade S, rb, 5-27-2011 Remi Chang S, mp, 2011 Rivers� Musk Cluster ** mp, Roisin Ruddle S, ob, 2004>>>Ron Ruddle Salmon Wings S, op, 2011 Saphir S, w, 2010 Satin Haze S, lp, 2011 Soft Knockout S, lp, 2008 South Moon S, w, 2010 Striata ** S, rb, Susan Williams-Ellis , S, w, 10-26-2011 Thanksgiving Rose S, ab, 2010 The Endeavour , S, pb, 10-26-2011 The Lady�s Blush S, lp, 2011 The Sun & The Heart S, yb, 2010 Topolina S, pb, 2013 Town OF Kensington S, pb, 2011 Under The Rose S, dr, 2011 Ventilo S, dp, 2011 Vic�s Refrain S, w, 1/27/08, 5/2008 Wheaton�s Royal Mile Pub w, 2011 Wichtel S, w, 1994 Xavier de Fraissinette S, my, 2011 Xtion S, dp, 2010 Yabba Dabba Doo S, pb, 7-31-2011 Yderosen , S, lp, 10-26-2011 Yume Otome S, pb, Zaros S, dp, 2010 HYBRID RUGOSA (HRg) Freycinet HRg, m, 2010 Heather HRg, pb, 2011, 5-25-2011 Jaimie HRg, m, 2011, 5-25-2011 Red Foxi HRg, lr, 2011 HYBRID WICHURANA (HWich) Bullseye HWich, pb, 2011, 5-25-2011 OLD GARDEN ROSES CENTIFOLIA (C) Gerda Nissen C, mr HYBRID CHINA ( HCh) Gages Gift Ch, op, 10-26-2011 Patron D�Orleans Ch, dr Yellow Mutabilis Ch, my, 2010 HYBRID GALlICA (HGal) Etienne HGal, m, 2011 Poitevine HGal, mp MISCELLANEOUS OGR�s: (Misc. OGR) Amanda Saborn Saborn w, 5-27-2011 HYBRID PERPERUAL (HP) Joey Angiolino HP, pb, 2012, 5-25-2011 HYBRID KORDESII (HKor) Emma Elizabeth , HKor, mp, 7-31-2011 MOSS & CLIMBING MOSS (M & CL M) Carena , M, m, 7-31-2011 TEA & CLIMBING TEA (T & Cl T) HYBRID (HMult)
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Started my Christmas gift baskets today
Q
Comments (12)
Thx gals-- Sorry to remind you Annie but when you have a family the size of mine you have to start Early ! OK Monique-- here's the recipe from "The Complete Book of Small Batch Preserving" 2nd edition Ellie Todd & Margaret Howard Sweet Onion & Fennel Relish 1 lrg sweet onion, such as Spanish or Vidalia ( about 8 oz/250g) 1 fennel bulb ( about 10 oz/275g) 1 sweet red pepper, sliced into thin strips 2 1/2 tsp pickling salt , divided ( 12mL ) 1 1/2 c. white wine vinegar ( 375 mL ) 1/2 c water ( 125 mL ) 1/4 c granulated sugar ( 50 mL ) 2 bay leaves 8 black peppercorns Slice onion in half lengthwise, then in very thin slices crosswise to form half circles. Cut fennel bulb in half lengthwise & remove core; thinly slice crosswise to form half circles. Place fennel, onion & red pepper in a non-reactive bowl and sprinkle with 2 tsp salt. Toss & let stand for 4 hrs. Rinse twice and drain thoroughly. Combine vinegar, water, sugar and 1/2 tsp salt in lrg stainless or enamel saucepan Bring to a boil over high heat. Add vegetables & return just to a boil, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Remove vegetables from liquid with a slotted spoon & pack into hot jars. Pour liquid over vegetables, leaving 1/2 head space. Add bay leaves & peppercorns. Process ( WBC) 10 min for 1/2 pts, 15 min for pts. makes 4 c. ( 1 L )
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sweet_pea10
20 years ago
If the church charges a fee for the minister's services, then no additional gift is required unless you want to give something extra. If the church doesn't have a set fee, then base the amount that you give on the amount of time that the officiant spends with you. If the person performs premarital counseling, attends the rehearsal and/or travels some distance to your wedding, then be sure to compensate accordingly. In contrast, if the person doesn't perform any counseling and doesn't attend the rehearsal, then that person should receive less.

As gellchom mentioned, some churche, particularly Catholic ones, require that monetary gifts be turned over to the church. Therefore, you might also give a gift certificate or another item that the person can keep.
talley_sue_nyc
20 years ago
I don't know for sure, but I think neither of the pastors I know well would accept money as a direct payment. Perhaps the church has a set of fees, and there might be one there, I don't know (but I don't think so at my church, at least not if you're a congregation member). They would probably expect to be reimbursed for travel expenses if they had to travel very far.

And the two guys I know wouldn't think a cash gift was necessary, either. Doesn't help you much, I realize.
justjude
20 years ago
Here's my opinion, and I'm a minister.

If either of the couple are members of my church, or if their parents (either side) are, then I do not charge a fee for the wedding. These people pay my salary with their annual support of the church, and it's part of my job to conduct their weddings. If such folks insist on giving me a monetary gift in addition, I always put it in the Minister's Discretionary Fund, which is a checking account I control (it doesn't go through the church bookkeeping) and use for people's personal emergencies, gifts, kids' scholarships for camp, or whatever I think is worthy but not in the church budget.

I do a lot of weddings for non-members, and for those I charge $350. This includes as many meetings as necessary (usually 2 or 3), the rehearsal, and the ceremony. If I have to travel more than 25 miles, I ask to be reimbursed for mileage. When you count up the meetings, the rehearsal and the ceremony, plus the time I put into writing the ceremony and the phone and e-mail time, this is well over 10 hours. Frankly, I think $35 an hour is an incredible bargain, especially considering how much the couple is likely to be spending on other aspects of the wedding.

I've never had the nerve to do this, but colleagues who complain about being underpaid for weddings suggest telling the couple their fee is $350 (or whatever) OR 5% of the total cost of the wedding. That usually stops any complaints about the fee...

Having said all that, I will add that I treasure the few gifts that have been given to me by couples I've married. One couple where the groom was Chinese gave me a simple jade pendant on a red string. Another friend gave me a small silver pin shaped like a heart, which I wore on my robe for their ceremony.

If you don't know the celebrant well but want to give a meaningful/useful gift, I'd suggest a gift certificate to a bookstore or a nice restaurant.

Judy
anita9
20 years ago
I think bookstore gift certificates are great - the pastor can buy books for personal fun, for the church library, or for other people.
Lindsey7
20 years ago
In my area, Friday and Saturday are the pastor's days off. Their work week runs Sunday through Thursday. Therefore, if they perform a wedding on their off days, I think they should be compensated for their time with a cash 'gift'. You might check with other recently married couples in your area for the amount. I would guess in the $100 range but I've never heard of anyone paying anything close to $350.

As someone else posted, if you are getting married in your church and if there is a fee, it will be listed in the application you must submit to the church office prior to booking the church. If you're still not sure, ask the church secretary. She knows everything! LOL
goldsilver
19 years ago
Does your church pass a collection plate? Because in that case it is my understanding you must also make an offering at your wedding, as it is also a type of mass. If there is no collection plate then I do not think you need to worry about HOW much you give, but in the same token I think it is right to give some money towards the church for marrying you. I think it depends on the church, and some are almost soley run on donations. So in that case they are performing a service soley for you, and should recieve a donation.
As for a gift, we have boughten our priest a book with photographs based on one of his particular interests. I think if you listen to thier sermons carefully you can get a slight idea of what thier interests are.
Snapdragon
19 years ago
Since we attend the church we were married in, there was no 'fee' involved so we were on our own as to how much to give. My husband and I ended up deciding to give the church $200 and our priest a gift of $150 for all he did for us up to and including the rehearsal and wedding ceremony.

I'm not sure what the average or 'norm' are, though. That's just what we chose to give.
teresava
19 years ago
I believe our church recommended a "donation" of $200? We also gave our 2 altar boys $25 each.
scarlett2001
14 years ago
Let's be practical here for a sec. The officiant provides you with a service for which you are paying. Period. Let's not start with gifts and gratuities. What about the officiant of a funeral, do you gift him? Only if that is already a well-established practice in your community would I add a gift. It's not necessary,.

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