First of all, thanks again for your guidance and encouragement. The event is over and yes, there were a few moments of tension. Although they did not involve us directly. I have to confess now to something that I didn't admit to earlier in an effort to avoid looking like a complete doormat. Early on I had offered to help with a dessert buffet to serve at the church, so they would have something for those guests they weren't inviting. As it turned out, I purchased, and made everything that was served (with the help of two friends and our children). All of the items were chosen by the bride ahead of time. We decorated the tables with greenery and candles, and made a beautiful and tasty presentation including choc. dipped strawberries, etc. We had fun working together on it which made it worth it. Since I hadn't originally intended on doing it all, I decided to forgo a "traditional" wedding gift. While we were in the middle of baking and dipping etc., I received a phone call asking how they should word something on the program inviting those who were not invited to the "reception" to enjoy the treats at the church. I told them that there was going to be plenty of food for everyone. Then I was told that they wanted to limit it to those who were not going to the reception so they could talk to others faster and keep to their time schedule. I replied that there was no way to word it that would not draw more attention to the fact that some people were not invited to the reception, and told them again that we had already worked very hard to make enough food for everyone. They finally agreed and dropped it. My 8 year old went up to the bride during the "church reception" and told her that he should be invited to the dinner because he was "part of it", she told him to talk to his mother. I questioned him and confirmed that she never said anything like yes, but just wanted me to handle it. So I told him that technically he should be included, but explained that it was going to be very boring and that he was going to have more fun at his friend's house. He seemed to accept that. One guest, a high-school friend of both the bride and groom, asked the bride how to get to the restaurant. She apparently told him that the seating at the restaurant was limited and that they had not been able to invite him to that part. I guess he decided to make a point of how rude he thought they were, because he showed up at the reception anyway. They had the owner of the restaurant ask him to leave. He replied that he was only planning on staying until the bride and groom got there so he could wish them well. So then the bride's mother came up and insisted that he leave, telling him that he already offered his congratulations at the church. (Incidentally, the bride never wanted him invited to the wedding for some reason, but gave in when he called asking if his invitation was lost.) He remained in the parking lot until the couple arrived, and said something like, "Well, apparently I'm not invited to celebrate with you, but I just wanted to wish you well before I leave." The bride's mother said something to me about not wanting to be rude, but that they shouldn't have to deal with something like this on their wedding day. Personally, I feel they created the mess, and she should have let them suffer the fallout. One niece,(the flower-girl) who at fourteen towers over several bridemaids, including another niece who is only thirteen, was somehow the only member of the wedding party (attending the recep.) not included in the limo ride to the reception. She was understandably crushed. They said something about the ring-bearer not going so.... Incredible! Anyway, it took forever to serve everyone. We literally sat at the table for 2 1/2 hours before they brought our table's entre'. The portions were so small that my husband ended up taking our boys to Burger King after to get something else to eat. Our only relatives from out-of-town had assigned seating in the corner opposite from us. And I mean...they were locked in...the only way for them to get out was to ask four other people to get up first. So I only got to visit with them for a few minutes after dinner was served, and while the cake was cut. They were seated next to the parents of the bride and friends of the brides parents that they didn't know. The best thing I can say is It's Over!; the couple is very good-looking; my ds was extremely cute as the ring-bearer and even added some comic relief the bride was hoping for; it was fun working with friends the day before; and It's Over!!!

Congratulations to you! For two reasons, I would not call this party a "reception": (1) the party is much too far after the wedding -- closer to the first anniversary -- and (2) although it was a very small wedding, it wasn't an elopement or a City Hall ceremony with no celebration or guests at all. I would just call it a party in their honor. I would omit any reference to the wedding at all, so as to avoid any appearance of the party being an attempt to get gifts, as if the couple wanted an exotic private wedding at the time, but now feel they missed out on gifts. Of course, people who didn't already send a wedding gift probably will bring them one anyway, but you don't want it to look like you are prompting them. Everyone you are inviting will understand that the party is in honor of their marriage, because you will only (I assume) be inviting people who are close enough that they know that the couple were recently married, and that's why you are doing it. You wrote "food will be served," but I don't know if that means a casual barbecue in your yard, a picnic lunch at the park, a tea dance at a country club, a brunch, snacks, or what. The games make it sound casual, but you also mentioned music and dancing. Once you decide on your plans, that of course will affect the text of your invitation. If it will be a casual evening barbecue in your yard, for example, you might word the invitation like this: Please join us for a cookout, dancing, and swimming in honor of [couple's names, including last name(s)] Sunday, June 34th 5:00 p.m. at our home 123 Sesame Street R.s.v.p. 555-5555 [or email@email.com, or omit if you are including a response card or trust your friends to respond without prompting!] Or, you could leave out "and swimming" and add "Bring your bathing suits for a swim" at the end, depending on what you want to emphasize as the tone of your party. It's not necessary to mention that games will be available. I don't think you need to specify attire, unless you want it black tie, which doesn't sound likely. If you feel you must, IMHO it is better to stick to "casual" or "dressy" or something rather than anything confusing like "festive attire." But I don't think you need to say anything: the style, color, and font of the invitation will get the message to your guests. (We went to 3 weddings this month. One invitation said "black tie optional," one said "cocktail attire," and one said nothing, but it was a rather formal looking invitation to a Saturday night wedding with dinner and dancing. The guests' attire was the same at all three of them! Well, no tuxedos at the last two, but the women at all of them wore dressy evening outfits, some long, some short, some pants.) Have fun.

Yep yep yep. You are lovely friends, giving a party in honor of your friends who got married. You are being careful not to make the slightest suggestion that anyone expects guests to buy gifts, or even any acknowledgement that they might. Also, don't worry about whether to call it a post-wedding reception or something like that. In fact, if I were doing this, I would just word the invitation something like, "Please come to/You are invited to to/Mary Smith requests the pleasure of your company at [or whatever the formality of the occasion dictates] a party in honor of Cuthbert and Petunia Jones [or Cuthbert Miller and Petunia Jones, if they have different last names, or I guess also if the invitations go out before she changes her name]/date/time/place" You don't even have to mention anything about the wedding on the invitation. I wouldn't. Anyone close enough to invite to the part presumably knows that they are getting married, and that's obviously why you are honoring them. The less you refer to it on the invitation, the less likely anyone will think that the idea is to rustle up some gifts. But it seems to me that anyone as nice as you probably travels in a circle that doesn't assume nastiness, and the invitees' response will be more like, "Oh, isn't that nice of Mary to do that. I'm glad we'll all get to celebrate, even though it's going to be a small wedding. I wish I'd thought of it myself." I don't see anything wrong with this even if they had had a big wedding. So there! :-)

Ok, here is what we did: We had a very formal wedding reception and, like you, I did not really want people bringing their children. The only kids I invited were family--obviously, my DD and SS were there (both 6) and my 9 year old cousin, 8 year old cousin and 5 year old cousin. I had no problem with family children being there. For the invitations--I simply put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith--therefore, it was clear that it was not a family invite, but one only for the couple. We did have one couple (friends of my dad) call and ask if kids were welcome and my dad just told them that it was a formal event, and the only other children attending were family members. Now--I personally do not think you can ask or expect people to use your sitters. I would not feel comfortable leaving my DD or SS with a sitter that I personally don't know, no matter how much YOU trust them. That is nothing against you--it's just how I feel as a mom. And not all parents are like that, some are more laidback about those things... BUT like I said--I don't think you can expect that everyone will feel comfortable doing that. I would just let people do what they are comfortable doing. If they want to take advantage of the sitters you have, then great. Otherwise, trust that they will be mindful of their children and will probably be getting them home to an early bedtime, anyway. FYI--all the kids at my reception had a GREAT time and were dancing the night away on the dance floor. People were drinking, having a great time, and the kids totally did not interfere with the adults' good time. My kids left first at 10 pm--I had a babysitter for them who took them back to the hotel to spend the night. My cousins seemed to leave around 10:30-11 and then the party went on until midnight with no kids. Also--with our DJ, we not only gave them a playlist, but we also gave them a list of DO-NOT plays--that included the Chicken Dance, YMCA and a few others, I felt the same as you! So that way--even if people request songs you don't want--the DJ won't play them! :) Have fun!