Hi, Mom of 3! I've got some suggestions, based on my experiences. First, your DH needs to get a set schedule with her, of one weekend per month, as the CO says. It either needs to be set dates or two weeks notice or something. If she refuses to agree to any particular schedule and wants to reserve the right to call at the last minute demanding to see her son, you're going to have to find the money to see an attorney and see what can be done about this. I know exactly what that is like; we've been through that exact thing, and BM will use this to torment you. You will find yourself unable to make plans for any weekend because you'll never know if BM will call to announce that she hasn't "gotten to" see her son and now wants to do so immediately. SS may need to see his mother - but he also needs stability and structure, and he should be able to make plans without knowing that they are always subject to last minute change due to his mother's whims. Secondly, your husband needs to stop talking to BM. Again, I know exactly what this is like. BM will use DH's attempts at co-parenting and maintaining a civil relationship to insinuate herself into your lives, to wreak havoc, to cause stress, to get attention - DH needs to just stop it. Obviously they must talk about SS - but he is all that they need to talk about, and if the conversation veers off of that topic into how much money you now have for gas, why the CO was unfair, how the CS is too much money and she's broke, how mean her new BF is, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with DH, what's wrong with the world, or anything else - DH needs to simply say "I've got to go now" and hang up. He does not need to justify, explain, excuse, elaborate or any other such thing to her anymore. He only needs to be civil and calm while discussing SS, and that's it. The longer any conversation lasts, the more BM will try to draw DH into an argument or dispute. Co-parenting does not mean that BM gets to rant and rave at you or DH at will and you are obligated to listen to her, or worse yet, respond. Third, I'd have a budget that does not include any CS that she is supposed to pay. If she actually sends some, that's a nice bonus - but I wouldn't be counting on it. Lastly, if she pulls some stupidity and does not return SS on time, call the police and file for an emergency hearing immediately. Don't let it go "this one time" - because it will happen again if you allow it too. You can make it through this. Your DH is now custodial parent. You now have a CO saying that she gets one weekend a month and pays CS. The status quo has changed and DH does not have to "work with her", or bend over backwards to accommodate her. He has to follow the CO, no more, no less.

Ok, so repainting the room is an option: that's your out! Or should I say "easy" solution? Repaint in a color more in keeping with the gorgeous rug (which is beautiful and valuable on many levels-honeymoon purchase being one of them!). Then your window treatments (panels-maybe) will be a much easier decision. I'm not loving the panel options mentioned above, which I think are nice, but a tad too informal for the direction you have taken with your room. Plus, they are very trendy, which again is not in keeping with your traditional style. You have heirloom quality pieces there! The rug and furniture should stay. Paint is cheap (compared to the investment in good quality furniture and the rug)! That's the way to make a significant impact without breaking the bank. Take a good look at the colors in the rug. On my monitor I see blue as the primary color, but monitors vary. Go to the paint store and bring some sample cards home, narrow it down and then go back and buy some paint samples and splotch away. In any case, have fun with this project!

I would go ahead have your DD's best friend's name printed on the wedding program. She would feel so honored to think you thought of her. Then at some point, someone could announce why she wasn't in attendance. Maybe someone could do a toast in her honor. OR...you could print your own wedding program as the time gets nearer and you know for sure if she will be able to attend. OR...you could get stickers in a baby theme (baby bottles, rattles, diaper pins, etc). Stick them on the program next to her name at the last minute, if they are already printed and she can't attend. Self explanatory, I would say. :) We rent items for weddings and we have seen some very strange things be done. I think having an extra groomsman is the least strange thing I've encountered. Hang in there...remember very few weddings go off without some kind of hitch. Keep the menu very simple, so that YOU can enjoy the day too. You don't want to end up in the kitchen during the whole reception. You will miss out on so much of the fun. Enlist a few friends...or someone from the church to help out. Make things that can be taken out of the fridge and placed. Cucumber sandwiches would be great too. Maybe a deli could make some sandwiches up for you, that someone could pick up for you, at a lesser price than a caterer. Good luck! I would be thrilled to give you a hand if I were close enough.

I just wanted to update you all. Dd and I chose five different dresses and sent them to the bride. I tried to present a range of choices, though Dd was pretty adamant that she wanted something simple--she didn't like anything with ruffles or beading or such. I also said in my email to her that we would be happy to do whatever she wanted so if she had something different in mind to please just let me know. Here's the moodboard I sent. (Dd did not like D, E, and F so I deleted them. A, B and C are from Nordstrom. G is from NextDirect. And H is from Gymboree.) The bride said any of them would be just fine, but that she particularly liked G, with A as a second choice if G didn't fit well once we got it. As it turns out G was also dd's favorite, which is nice. I went ahead and ordered it. It's from NextDirect which tends to sell out of things and not restock so I decided to take a chance on size and order now. I am going to wait on shoes as I find kid shoe sizes harder to predict than clothes. I'm hoping I will find comfortable white or gold Mary Janes or ballet flats. I will consult with the bride about those too. Thank you all for your help!