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Flowers for engagement party

18 years ago

My daughter is getting married and is having an engagement party given by her fiance's parents. My wife and I are not able to go. her mother and I are divorced and she has a stepfather.

Since we cannot go to the engagement party ( we have not met her future in-laws) I suggested that maybe we should send flowers with a nice note. My wife says that it is the grooms parents who have the party and they will probably have flowers already picked out etc. and that we should not send them. What is proper or rather the right thing to do.

Thanks

JP

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Comments (4)

socks
18 years ago
I'm no expert, but how could sending flowers be wrong? Your daughter would probably be pleased that you were thinking of her at that special event.
sweet_pea10
18 years ago
I agree; send the flowers to your daughter, not to the in-laws, though you may need to send them to the in-law's home.
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talley_sue_nyc
18 years ago
are you unable to be there bcs of schedule, or bcs of conflics? I'm hoping it's schedule.

I vote for asking your DD for the future in-law's phone number, and calling the hostess. Tell her you're unable to be there, wish you could, and wonder if perhaps you could show your goodwill by sending flowers along...

Or, write a note to your daughter (or to the entire company), and send it to them, asking them to read it aloud on your behalf, in order to convey your good wishes to all there. (flummox them all by adding a nice sentence of praise for your DD's mother)

Or, if you've been invited and declined already, just use the address from the invite to send flowers to the future in-laws as a goodwill gesture.

You might also, if distance permits, simply invite the groom's family over for dinner, so you can meet them. Normally, etiquette says that the groom's family is to extend the social invitation first, but folks don't usually know this. And anyone who has a social impulse should follow it.
gellchom
18 years ago
I think it is a GREAT idea to send flowers to your daughter's future in-laws. But not to the party -- your wife is right, the decorations at the party are for them to choose. Rather, send a pretty arrangement to their home, as a gift for them, with a note thanking them for giving the party for the kids, expressing your regrets that you cannot attend, and wishing them all a lovely evening. What a charming gesture, especially at a time when future family relationships are being formed.

In fact, I think this is such a good idea, if I were you, I would do it even if I were attending. If I were the hosts, I would be very impressed and grateful. I'm going to remember this.

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