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Introducing Parents....

Posted by abc12345 (My Page) on
Mon, Mar 26, 07 at 10:25

We are having only 32 or so people at our wedding, but alot of them will not know each other. Even our parents will be meeting for the first time. (Live on opposite coasts) So I thought when everybody first arrives I'd have beverages and Hors D'Oeuvres set up so we can make introductions and chat awhile before the ceremony. But eventually we will have to leave to change into tux and gown. How long should I plan for that initial chat time before we leave them on their own?

Or should we have the families arrive early, and give them time alone together, before everybody else arrives? Still, how much time alone? (But I'm thinking other people being there might help along with any awkward moments.)

What do you all think?

That will be the most anxious time of the entire day for me, I'm dreading it.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Introducing Parents....

I'd vote to give your parents have some time before the other guests. You could even invite them out for breakfast that morning. I doubt there would be any awkward moments unless someone isn't happy about the marriage.

Is there a reason for not being dressed when the party starts? As a guest, I would probably feel bad if the bride and groom greeted me before they seemed ready.


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RE: Introducing Parents....

Thats a great idea! Even tho we were thinking of having a brunch reception, (ceremony 12:30) we could get them together in the morning, or even night before if my families flight arrives early enough. I never thought of that.

I just didn't want hubby to see me in my gown before I start walking down the aisle, thats bad luck supposedly.

I'm so thankful that I found this wedding part of the forum, everyone is so helpful.
Thanks :)


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RE: Introducing Parents....

Aren't you having a rehearsal the day before? If so, the rehearsal dinner after the rehearsal is a good time to allow everyone to spend time together without feeling rushed.


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RE: Introducing Parents....

I would try hard to have your families -- at least your parents -- meet before the wedding day, or at the very least earlier that day, privately. Their meeting each other is really important and deserves its own moment. Of course you are the two getting married, but I am sure you can understand that people care quite a bit about the families into which their children are marrying. A marriage is mostly about the bride and groom, but it affects other people, too.

You've made up your mind never to like your husband's mom; I don't know if that extends to his whole family, whom you have described as "smothering." The posters on this board have already warned you about that, so I'm not going to lecture you further. Just understand that like them or not, you are going to be stuck with them for life. Living far away does not change that, even if you never move closer to any of them (and remember that they could move closer to you). So respecting that relationship by introducing them in a meaningful way, privately, before the wedding, rather than just as ordinary wedding guests is worth it, IMHO.


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seeing the dress

one other thing --

You do seem inclined to have them all meet before the wedding, and that's good. You wrote, "I just didn't want hubby to see me in my gown before I start walking down the aisle, thats bad luck supposedly."

You will do more to create "luck" for your future by doing what you can to get the blending of your families off to a good start than by worrying about a silly superstition!

Congratulations to you all.


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RE: Introducing Parents....

Well, "smothering" is a perfect description, and I thought it kind... given the type of people they are. (And its not just my opinion, my fiance and his brothers can't wait to get away as well.) But, yup you're right, I *will* never like his parents. As long as I am civil and don't spit bile at them, do I honestly need to like them?

His folks were invited to our engagement party and didn't come; they have never invited my folks there. She doesn't like to associate with "riff-raff". The boys were all home-schooled to protect them from "riff-raff" (her words) Yet the father takes out loans to pay off loans for her horses and fancy house. If they lived within their means, they'd be no different than the people they don't like.

My fiance and I are planning a nice wedding and a lovely reception, and paying for it all ourselves, so that our families can meet. Our first choice was Vegas. All I was wondering about is how much time to allow them to get aquainted before the ceremony, and was given some great ideas here.

Thanks all!


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