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Should I do this or not?

Posted by emersonsf (My Page) on
Thu, Mar 23, 06 at 10:15

My daughter is getting married and is having an engagement party given by her fiance's parents. My wife and I are not able to go. her mother and I are divorced and she has a stepfather.
Since we cannot go to the engagement party ( we have not met her future in-laws) I suggested that maybe we should send flowers with a nice note. My wife says that it is the grooms parents who have the party and they will probably have flowers already picked out etc. and that we should not send them. What is proper or rather the right thing to do.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Should I do this or not?

I think it would be a wonderful gesture on your part to send flowers. It doesn't matter if the grooms' parents have already ordered flowers for the occassion. You are the father of the Bride. To let your daughter know you are thinking about her and her fiance even though you can not be at the party is so awesome. I'm sure she would appreciate it more than you know. Sorry but your wife is wrong in this cituation. NancyLouise

RE: Should I do this or not?

Sometimes people think it's improper to show up for a dinner party with flowers, as the hostess may already have a centerpiece, etc.
But this is different--you're sending your regrets, and a nice plant or flowers is very thoughtful.

RE: Should I do this or not?

Send flowers.

RE: Should I do this or not?

Are you planning to send the flowers to your daughter or to her in-laws, the hosts of the party? I would send them to your daughter as a way to let her know that you are thinking about her at that time.

RE: Should I do this or not?

I think it is a GREAT idea to send flowers to the hosts -- not for the party, just for them. You aren't replacing their centerpieces; you're sending them a gift (they can put your flowers in their bedroom if they want) thanking them for giving the party for your child and for inviting you, and telling them you wish you could be there and are thinking of them. A wonderful gesture. In fact, I think it's such a good idea, if I'm ever in that position, I would do it even if we WERE able to attend.

RE: Should I do this or not?

While it is very thoughtful to send flowers, I wonder why you are not going? (Unless you have impending open heart surgery or something.) This is a major event in your daughter's life- she needs all the family support she can get.

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