Exactly, Lowspark. And you have to be honest, I think. If the man in that Carolyn Hax article had said, "We care about our grandparents, but we care more about having what we consider the 'perfect' wedding," I wouldn't have cared much for his values, but I would have valued his honesty. Though I'm with Gellchom and Tally Sue - his going on about being creative and special don't sit well with me. What I hear more often from people planning destination weddings are justifications. "It's a vacation for everybody," even though, as others have written, it's not much of a vacation if someone else chooses the date, time, destination, and companions. "I know that everyone we're going to invite can afford it," even though the people who say this are simply judging from the size/quality of the guests' house, car, boat, clothes, whatever. "Everyone would have to travel, anyway," even though hotel accommodations in one's hometown are likely to be less expensive than in the romantic resort destinations that are generally chosen for such weddings. (Plus, many families and groups of friends will provide accommodations in their own homes if the wedding is held in the home town of the bride or groom or in the town where they currently live. I know my own circle of friends did this for one another's weddings, and now does it for their kids' weddings.) And when you travel for a wedding, you're likely to stay over just one or two nights, not the longer period that most destination weddings seem to anticipate. I can understand a destination wedding like Scarlett's. If these few friends are the only ones that would have been invited to the wedding anyway, no matter where it was held, and if they could all manage to plan a vacation together and Scarlett and her husband got married in the process, that sounds great. The people who were hurt by not being invited would have been hurt no matter where she held the wedding, because they wouldn't have been invited anyway. Lowspark, I think what people having a reception in the groom's hometown have on their side is tradition. Even if they all lived in the same town, the groom's side sometimes holds a reception for the new couple if the bride's family doesn't choose to invite as many guests as the groom's family would like. Maybe a reception following the destination wedding will become tradition, as well, though (at least to me) it would feel like dividing your family and friends by income (the people who have money go to the destination wedding, the poorer people must content themselves with the home-town reception) rather than by closeness to the bride and groom.

There are often receptions or parties after the wedding. But I have never seen anyone wearing a bridal gown at one just so those who weren't at the wedding could see it. I'm assuming you are talking about a traditional wedding gown. But it was a small ceremony; perhaps you wore a terrific "regular" dress? If so, I absolutely would go ahead and wear it again for the party. That you wore it for your wedding doesn't mean it needs to be enshrined forever! If it's a traditional gown and veil -- well, you know your group, and we don't. So I don't know if they really are all that worked up about seeing you wearing a wedding gown, or if they will be thinking it seems a bit silly, or some of each. In any case, I assume all these people love you, so I don't think you have a problem with anyone permanently thinking anything bad. If you have your heart set on wearing your gown again, who is it hurting? I think the bigger issue is how YOU will feel. The fact that you are asking here makes me suspect that you feel uneasy about it, and if you plan to wear it, you will be second-guessing yourself from now until the party and all through the party, worried that you will feel foolish, which will reduce your own pleasure. If you wear a terrific regular outfit, you will for sure feel confident. Believe me, you will still be The Bride! Maybe wear some flowers, too. Best wishes on your marriage, and have fun at your party whatever you decide to wear.

Thanks everyone. Patti you may be right about the cream vs the white. I am a pale-skinned, freckled redhead and even though i do have a lot of white blouses, I really do not look good in white. And I love Steinmart! I think I will stop in there tomorrow and also there is a TJMAXX in the same shopping center. I am 60 yrs old, tall, but 30 pounds overweight (recently lost 35, 30 more to go) and busty, I was thinking a print might make me look fatter. I have a cute new top that is a leopard print, but wondered if it would be too much! My DD tells me I dress too much like an old lady, well I am one. Maybe I will pick up a couple tops and have a pre-party fashion show for DH and DD. I appreciate the great ideas!

I would not be that thrilled with travel to Mexico at all because of safety concerns. Although my friend is considering Mexico for a 50th birthday celebration and since we went to Australia for my 40th, I'd feel obligated to go. When we were planning our wedding, DH and I lived in separate cities, and our extended families were in two different cities. We thought about destinations, but my mother was in her 80's and doesn't really travel that well and doesn't have a passport. So, we went with my hometown since that was the largest group that would likely attend. DH's grandma did fly in, and she did great. MIL paid for her and two aunts' tickets so they could attend. We really didn't want to get married in place where our mothers and grandmother could not make it. OTOH, DH's cousin planned a destination wedding in the Dominican Republic because he knew his family couldn't really attend there, especially his mother, who has had some mental health issues. This was really sad. The aunt may actually may have some sort of autism, but since she's in her 60's she would have never been diagnosed with it.