You don't HAVE to order any for anyone. Don't let the fact that the photographer offers packages make you think it is somehow expected to send photos to lots of people (which is probably why the photographer does it). As you noticed, your siblings didn't send any to you.

I think your instinct of getting a nice portrait for each parent household makes the most sense. (If you put it in a pretty frame, you can give it to them as a gift, maybe for Mothers/Fathers Day -- the ONE time you can give them all the same thing, at least until there are pictures of kids!). You can ask in advance what size they would prefer; then if they want more, they can tell you then. At the wedding, when people are posing for formal shots, they will tell you then if they want a copy of something else.

In fact, I think I might feel kind of presumed upon if someone (other than my child or perhaps a sibling) presented me with a formal photo from their wedding; do they expect me to frame it and display it in my home, and will they be offended if I don't? If that were the case, all our homes would be filled with nothing but pictures of other people's weddings!

If you have a group shot taken of the whole family together, though, that's a nice (and generous) thing to send to some or all of the others in the shot, or maybe some who couldn't make it but would appreciate it. After all, how often are we all together and dressed up pretty? :-) You can do this for groups of friends, too. It does start to add up, though, so this is an extra-generous gift, certainly not a "requirement."

If you have grandparents who are still living, they, too might like enlargment size (5X7 or 8X10) pictures.

Also, do you plan on having children? If so, and if you still have some "undesignated/unspoken for" pictures in your package, you might consider setting some aside for your future children and/or grandchildren. I know that I would love to have original portraits of my grandparents' wedding.

Grace makes a good point -- although (and I apologize to the photographers, who I know will hate me for this), you can get copies of photos later. Who knows what kind of technology there will be in the future!

When my childen got married, they shared the proof books with us and with the other sets of parents, then we ordered our own pictures. I made a mini album of photos from each of our children's weddings and my daughter did the same for her two brother's weddings. Don't feel that you are obligated to purchase all of the "extras" that the photographer recommends. That is money in his/her pocket.

I would go along with the idea of saving a picture or two to share with your children at a future time. I recently coordinated a wedding where the bride and groom each had pictures from their parents' weddings and they asked their photographer to duplicate one pose of them doing the same thing as in the parent's photos. They also displayed the framed photos from their parents' weddings at their wedding.

thanks for these responses- great input!

My son is getting married in May. I've told them both to please not spend a lot of money on a Parent's album for me. I'd rather see them buy something they need with that money. I'd like a large portrait of them for my wall and the open invitation to see THEIR book.

We gave an 8x10 and a three photo 'folio' to each set of parents.

We gave my husband's grandmother an 8x10 (framed) because she couldn't attend and specifically asked for one. (She has 8 x 10's of all her grandkids' weddings on her living room wall.)

Hubby's sister was also unable to attend so we sent her family a 5x7 and the rest of the photos we gave out were wallet size and just went to very close friends and a few family who weren't able to make it out for the wedding.

Nobody, except hubby's grandmother, asked for professional photos and we only did them for others because we got a good package deal and wanted our parents to have a few professional pics. I'm glad we did it for them because the pics made wonderful Christmas presents!