A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?" The blonde answers, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Two Blondes With Hammers... Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House. Lynn , nailing down house siding, wouldreach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Lynn explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Judy got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first." +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow!", said the blonde, "That's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied..... ..."Two popsicles and some coffee." +++++++++++++ A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest." "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks. "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"

bob414 Didn't see your last post until today pretty funny !! Subject: 1961 - 2011 This should be sent only to those whose level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it... 1961 : Long hair 2011 : Longing for hair 1961 : KEG 2011 : EKG 1961 : Acid rock 2011 : Acid reflux 1961 : Moving to California because it's cool 2011 : Moving to Arizona because it's warm 1961 : Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 2011 : Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 1961 : Seeds and stems 2011 : Roughage 1961 : Hoping for a BMW 2011 : Hoping for a BM 1964 : Going to a new, hip joint 2011 : Receiving a new hip joint 1961 : Rolling Stones 2011 : Kidney Stones 1961 : Screw the system 2011 : Upgrade the system 1961 : Disco 2011 : Costco 1961 : Parents begging you to get your hair cut 2011 : Children begging you to get their heads shaved 1961 : Passing the drivers' test 2011 : Passing the vision test 1961 : Whatever 2011 : Depends Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list: The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1993. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. The CD was introduced 2 year s before they were born. They have always had an answering machine.. They have always had cable. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane.." They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is. Mc Donald's never came in Styrofoam containers. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. Do you feel old yet? So have a nice day!!!!! It is good to have friends who know about these things and are still alive and kicking!!!!

I don't want to hijack Elizabeth's thread, but I am going through the same, only have a much worse problem. My projects get really big, and I realize that in the past the boxes or baskets I have used haven't been deep enough. I was a The Old Time Pottery last weekend, - they've got a number of stores in Atlanta and I don't know if they are elsewhere. They were selling "lingerie chests" with drawers that are about the size needed for 8.5 x 11 papers, or folded legal size paper. So I bought the only 2 they had (one was their floor sample, already assembled!) and have started sticking projects in that. I have already realized I'll probably need paperweights to keep the larger piles from getting out of control and sticking so the drawers can't open. The chest is about 45" high, and the drawers look square - I would say about 14" x 14". I am planning on using these drawers and maybe if I need them some boxes. I've tried baskets before, and realize that one reason they don't work for me is that they are so heavily textured that the papers get caught by the woven strips, or it's uncomfortable for me to stick my hands in. So far, I've scoooped up the project piles on my morning room table, which serves as a desk. As long as the drawers remain easy to open (i.e., good, lasting construction of cheap furniture, as well as controlling the piles by dividing into sub-projects, if needed), this might work for me.

My mother sewed. But my mother was a psychopath who never wanted me to know how to do anything that she was famous for doing or that might shine a spotlight on me rather than on her LOL. At 13, I took homemaking in junior high. Still can't make white sauce, but once I started sewing, I never looked back! (Interestingly, the only gap in all these years was during my very bad crummy disfunctional marriage. Occasionally the thought has crossed my mind that maybe I married someone who is exactly like my mother.) The summer before my first year of high school, which was ninth grade in my small-town at that time, I got a paper route. Spent all my money on fabric, and made all my clothes for the coming year. I was purdy close to adorable! The outfit that I remember most fondly was dotted Swiss. The blouse had long sleeves gathered into cuffs, & a stand up collar. The fabric was dotted Swiss, white with black dots oh, and the buttons and Lace trim were black. The skirt was black dotted Swiss with white dots. I sewed like a maniac for quite some time. Got married, no sewing for about 5 years as husband demanded constant attention. Almost the instant I was divorced, I made my aunt a green velour robe for Christmas. Then, I had an unexpected expense, seems like it was doctor bills for a kidney infection or something. No spare money, so I took a noonlight job at cloth world. Oh I loved that job! These days, I mostly play with quilting, and lately I've been making tote bags, occasionally out of new fabric but often out of old quilt blocks and scraps. Thanks so much for posting this, it is fun reading everyone else's experiences & re-living my own!