I just love this thread!! Jeanne you must come to the holiday forum. It's been a little slow lately but Spring and Easter tables will be wonderful!! I do not have as many inside collections as I used too but have some new things I'm looking for. Number one collection CHRISTMAS decorations. It's the first thing that brought me to the Holiday forum. I love vintage decorations. Shiney bright orniments, nativities and angels. And thanks to the folks over there have started a snow village... small scale because of space. Number two love is depression glass. I do not have alot.. Started collecting sugar and creamers too many years ago!! Havn't bought many lately. I will have to wash them all and take a picture. Number three is charm braclets... I have been looking on ebay and antique shops for vintage ones....and buttons. I need to learn more about vintage buttons. There are several projects I want to do as well as make a bracelet from buttons. And of course anything JUNK!!! Lots of pretty colored glass and things to break... and rusty too!!

nwdrip- Thanks for chiming in! I am thankful for any advice and I appreciate you commenting on my thread. I think painting the back of the cabs dark brown would be really cool with some colorful dishes. Suero- I never would have picked a rug like that, but you are right, it works. My only thing is that I am, in general, trying to avoid red. I had red accents all over my last apartment, and I want to go for a different feel. However, I get to see what a teal looks like, and how patterns interact with my curtains, so thank you!!! I have continued to look at other rugs. Hubby has been almost no help. He is very picky on what he wants, but he won't help me look. I have browsed through approximately 4000 rugs by now, and every suggestion I have had, he has shot down. :( Here are some of my favorites right now. Please tell me what you guys think: A B C D E F G Hubby wants a border around the edge, doesn't want flowers, only wants a hint of color, doesn't want stripes, doesn't want beige. Please note that most of *my* faves at least have one of those things. This one that I posted earlier appears to still be hubby's favorite: But he's not sold on it.

As usual, Sweeby has said what I am thinking. Do you plan to have children with his man, considering his lack of parenting skills? There are multiple issues to be dealt with here, and I don't think 3 weeks can even break the shell. I'm not saying jump ship, I'm saying that if you are making a lifetime commitment THIS is what you are committing to - the situation as it stands now. By saying I do you are saying you accept things as they are. What strong motivation for change is there when the ink is already dry on the marriage license? You may think change will still come, and it may, but the urgency is gone. In a man's view you've already accepted the 'terms' of the deal so now you have to deal with them. As for the terms of the deal - there are several to be addressed. Problems with the man and problems with your attitude toward the child. 1) You have denied many times, and I feel you believe your words, that you do feel SS is a not primary member of the family. I understand things were better before, something changed; they've gone downhill, but as a step mom and a step child reading your words I see between the lines to what you are conveying without writing it. He is a distraction from the life you pictured with this man you love. I get that - I've been there. BUT - this child is his life, convenient or not. If you have to force him into the 'picture' there is something wrong with your 'camera.' It's been said many times - this boy is your present and future as much as he is his dad's. From their perspective you are being 'forced' into their picture. 2) You can't force a child to feel at home anywhere, you are right. You can make him feel welcomed, loved, included and wanted though. He will feel how he wants about each house, but wouldn't it make you feel good to know you provide an atmosphere that he is comfortable enough in to call home? You don't get off the hook by saying 'He's not going to feel at home so sleepovers aren't needed.' That's HIS call. Respect him enough to let him decide where his comfort level is. If at 12 he doesn't want them any more as you did so be it. 3) You can not EVER be the judge of what time FDH and FSS need together. Every relationship is different and there is no set rule to what a person 'needs.' It sounds like FDH would like to have every day with his child, so how can anything less than that be enough for him? Just because you find it sufficient doesn't mean they do. To try to put restrictions on that is only asking from resentment from them both. Now the man ~ 1) COMMUNICATION. You just need some, and fast. I think communication levels stem from respect levels, so this is a huge red flag to me. Time to find out why his respect for you has lessened so drastically. What happened in his mind . . . or is it once he 'won you over' his true colors came out? I think you need to know this before you say I Do. 2) He is disrespectful, no two ways about it. You have every right to be involved in the planning of your household. There is no reason he couldn't call you to say 'DS has a game tonight. Do we have plans - I'd like to go. Would you like to come along?" Perhaps a solution for this would be to get a schedule from the coach for the season and put it on the fridge. Better yet, get a calendar and put them on there. Then also put the nights you have book club, or dinner with Sue and Joe. Then if you have a conflict, it's time for the compromising Ceph outlined. 3) Disneyland Dad. That's gotta stop. I know before my DH got custody we both had a tendency to try to have all good times, but that's just not realistic. All it does is set a child up with an unrealistic expectation of life. What about if you two have a child? How will he discipline that kid and not his son? This will open up a can of worms you won't want to deal with. I would think long and hard about this before even considering children with him. 4) He will have to give his ex some 'say' as to what happens in your house as she has custody and the final say since there is not formal parenting plan. This does not mean FDH can't put in his own 2 cents as well, but I'm here to tell you that this is unavoidable. She will be a part of your life and its best you come to terms with that now. Even as the wife of the CP who has raised my SD since she was 5 we bend and twist around the ex. Your gut twists too, but you learn to cope. . . . or you don't and it eats you up. Their family may be gone as you said, but their mutual obligation to their son isn't. 5) Time off with son. This is a hard one as I go both ways. I don't think FDH should be told he can't take time off with his son, but I also understand you are excited about this marriage and want to celebrate that on a honeymoon with your new husband. Perhaps if cash is such an issue now you take a mini honeymoon for half the planned time and then do something with FSS for a day or two> In a year when the finances settle down take a honeymoon for your first anniversary. I understand YOU want this trip, but what does FDH want? Compromise . . . Whew. Time to get back to work. Food for thought . . . .

Interesting thread, Ritamay. I probably mismanage time -- I have a lot of interests and a lot of curiosity and so it is super easy to do. I also like looking out the window at wildlife. That isn't really a waste of time, nor is reading on the Internet, but it doesn't have any physical product to display at the end of my musings. "Hang it, nail it, paint it" personalities would likely consider it wasteful. I tend to think of it more along the lines of unbalanced resource use. We use "sorta warm" water for laundry with a cold rinse. The washer is an older, compact (not huge) top-loading Kenmore that was barely used for $100 in Craigslist and it fit in the SUV (older, bought used). I don't wash on cold because from my experience washing and observing (dishes, hand laundered items, cleaning), I find that oils (everywhere -- food splashes, perspiration) are better removed or broken down by detergent if water isn't cold (like our icy deep well water). That cheap washer spins cycle is good. We hang, line dry but often machine dry 2/3rds of items. I love leftovers, but groceries can get forgotten. I try to make a rotating list of perishables for the front of our refigerator/s. We compost vegetable scraps (not rice) and fish skin, trimmed fats, skins get frozen to feed to birds in winter. I'd like to feed our opossum chicken bones after I've used them for broth, but it's likely that raccoons and coyotes would also come by & we don't want that. Most of what's in the compost is not very attractive for scavenging wildlife & it gets coffee grounds dump over it and mixed throughout. MamaP & others: know a good source for quality flour sack towels? I like them. We try to minimize our use of paper towels, not for tree preservation, but to sa e money. Like others, I buy a dozen or so plain white or light colored inexpensive (thin) face clothes to use (and keep clean) for all sorts of things, including as a dish cloth (bleached daily & washed). if you have a sewing machine, or can find a used inexpensive serger, you can make lots of no-fray cleaning cloths from older towels. Here is a link that gives ideas: https://www.seasonedhomemaker.com/un-paper-towels-reusable-paper-towels-paperless-towels/ We re-use those plastic shoppers, but Re_cycle most of them. Grocery stores have Recycle bins dedicated to clean, dry "plastic film" (packing film, wrap, shoppers). We use a lot of LED bulbs when we can, but we live in a wooded area and I like and need a lot of light. Off at night. Annie D. -- I for one am thankful that you spend time on the Internet ;) You post so many interesting contributions.