Looking for custodial stepmothers
Vicky1975
11 years ago
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Vicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Non -Custodial Mom, What more can I do?!
Comments (22)MIStepMom thanks, you hit it right on the nail, my emotions are poring out over this forum for some help, I seem to not be asking for advice on how to deal with vindictive people the right way, soooo many are only seeing stepmoms side of things, but you see that there are more sides than the primary custodial's side. "And for goodness sake, stop worrying about yourself so much" What I do worry about is what my child is seeing happening between my exhusband-stepmom and I. and how this is truly affecting him, I worry that them being so vindictive is hurting my child, just as much as my move away. They really do act like my 11 year old doesnt know how they conversate with me,they act like them doing this doesnt affect him, BECAUSE ,they say, they've never done it in front of him. Really though, my child is smarter than they give him credit for, as most children are in tune to family relations, even if they dont know what to say or do about it. I know stepmom doesnt like when I call for my son, because this is how it goes, I ask hi is **** there, she says no he's out with his dad, I say politely, would you have him call me when they get back, she says sarcastically IF HE WANTS TO. This is what I'm asking help on, I mean why does she have to be so NASTY, when my child is with me for the summer, I know how important it is to talk to your child, so when they call and our child is out playing or in the shower etc. I simply say, sure I'll tell him you called and have him call you back......whats so hard about this! This is what I have to deal with in many other topics with them to. I dont see why they have to do this, is this helping our child, is this a good thing for him, is this kind of arguing going to be better for my child on a day to day or week to week basis, should I move close to him? I see so many children out there who have parents who fight over them, and to be honest my son is in a better place then them, even though he has to miss seeing me more often in order to have this somewhat peace, between his parents. I only gave up the arguing and fighting over my child, I didnt give up my child. I would love to be in dads and stepmoms shoes. The way they complain all the time that I dont do enough, seems to me like there saying its been a hassle for them to raise my child on a day to day basis, rather then a privalege! One other true example of why I feel they only want money from me and not wish to include me in my childs life: dad initially pays for all medical and sports fees, then mails me the receipts and I reimburse him half back. So one day I get a copy of a soccer kick-a-thon PLEDGE SHEET (not an actual receipt)with a note asking me to reimburse him half of his pledge, which was a measly $5 ! It's not the amount of money that bothers me so, it's the fact that dad didnt even consider informing me of a soccer kick-a-thon and ask me to make a pledge for our son....I would of loved to been asked to participate in my childs pledge....instead I get told what and when Im to pay for something and then they use, come on its for your son, its the least you can do, its only $5. I never paid it to this day, because for the first thing I wasnt included, and the second they demanded it from me, like it was part of his soccer fees, which a pledge is not part of the registration-uniforms-and gear fees. How would you feel if your ex does these kind of things to you all the time?...See MoreWhat is a (step)mother's place in the 'family'?
Comments (22)your entitled to your opinion and if you let your kid eat dessert for their meal (not before the meal) then I'm sure they'll nominate you for mother of the year!!! congratulations. I didn't discuss anything with the counselor. SD told the counselor about getting sick & the counselor told me (later, when I was picking up SD) that maybe the mayo was bad. and it's interesting how you don't answer the ACTUAL question but change it to fit your agenda. The entire question is: "It would be interesting to see what would happen if a step mom gave your kids ice cream for breakfast and let them cook something for themselves (which required using a can opener) and they came home sick and throwing up. I guess you would do nothing, it's not your place to even mention it?" and assuming your child is 7 or 8 years old. Not a teenager....See MoreHated Stepmother
Comments (14)I too have these issues with my DH children. He has 4 (1 from a first marriage) and 3 (from second marriage). The oldest and I get along fine even though we don't see eye to eye on everything, we still respect each other as people. She is 26 with 3 beautiful children of her own. Her mother (first wife) and I have even been at the same events (funerals, Christmas, Birthday parties etc.) and can be cordial to each other, even though we are both uncomfortable with the other. However the second biomom........Whew.....Sometimes I can't beleive what this woman has done. Her children WANTED to live with me and my husband, however I had no idea how damamged they were (and still are). My DH was even paying her child support even after we were awarded custody (based on the kids testimony). We never said anything bad about biomom, choosing instead to take the high road, let's face it the low road is way too crowded! However she and her family continue to berate us and call us names in front of the kids. I gave her kids everything, and I mean everything. They told us such horrible stories of abuse and neglect that I spent all my savings and income to fight for custody and keep up a household. (DH was laid off for 2 1/2 years and mom recieved half of his unemployment even though we had custody). More money for yet another lawyer. Biomom finally dropped kids off and didn't see them, try to contact them, nothing for 2 years and 3 months. At that time she inherited a large sum of money (not sure how much, but she spends with little reguard and doesn't work and isn't married), then boom she wants to see them again. At this time SS was 19 almost 20, didn't go to school (which I helped him fill out papers etc. he didn't understand, talked with admissions etc.), bought him 2 cars (he wrecked both and his dad's truck), paid his insurance, he didn't pay rent, gave him a computer and video games etc.. He never did a stitch of work around the house, refused to even pick up milk for us, tortured his sisters both mentally and physically. When I found out about him hitting his sisters it was the last straw, I told him he would have to leave. Within 2 month he was living with BIOmom again because him and his buddy couldn't make rent. The last car (that his aunt loaned him $2000 to buy)broke down and he traded it in for a newer model, he never paid his aunt back. He showed up for Christmas, the same year his grandfather passed (2 days before Christmas), but never showed for the funeral and had his mom call to say he didn't want to be pallbearer and that if DH came near the house she would have him arrested. That is the last we ever heard from him (that was two years ago). He was over 20 by this time. DH middle child from second marriage was trouble the entire time she lived with us (from 14). She never liked me or any other adult. She told everyone what a loon her mom was and how she starved her and how the biomom's boyfriend and the biomom would make out right in front of her and so many other stories, that were not only shocking but that I believed. I tried to make her life as normal as possible considering the situation, but it was never enough. I got her a cell phone, but it wasn't good enough, I bought her clothes, furniture, class rings, yearbooks, talked to school counselors etc. Nothing was ever good enough. She stole money and things (including the only good jewlery I had), she posted seductive pictures of herself on the internet, starved herself (she was overweight) until she made herself sick and her dad had to take her to the hospital (we had no insurance at that time),was having sex with her boyfriend in the house, doing drugs, drinking alot.........In short she was messed up. We took her to counseling but she refused to talk to anyone. We tried to talk to her but she would sit there and say nothing. She too was a slob (like her brother). Not just with her room etc. but everywhere she went she left a mess behind her. It wasn't just a mess but filth. Did I mention at this time my DH was in and out of the hospital for kidney stones, colon removal (he almost died and it was 6 months of recovery time). The entire time I was working 2 jobs, doing laundry, ensuring food etc. was in the house, along with all the extras that teenagers have. Ride me here, ride me there etc. In short I was a single mom to another woman's children and my own. Finally the disrespect from this girl was just too much. one month after she was 18, I told her to leave. She tried to break into my house 4 days later AFTER I had spoken to her biomom and said I would call her that evening for when they could come get her stuff (I had already given her a few boxes to get her through). I am at the doctors with my son (whose face was badley swollen from poison ivy) when I recieved a hysterical phone call from the youngest SD saying biomom and sister are trying to break into house. I call the police, while in route SD calls back screaming sister has broken in and is taken stuff out of house (which is in my name only, owned before marriage). Cops arrive, allow SD to take one bag out. Finally make arrangements and SD brings a sheriff, which was totally unneccessary but okay, if she wants to waste her money (which she recieved from the $800 graduation party DH and I threw for her). Haven't heard from her since, except when youngest SD brings holiday greetings from her. Sent her a card, nothing. At this point the ball is in her court. I have nothing to be sorry about with either of these kids. I was never anything but caring and provided for them the best I could. I don't regret trying to help these poor souls, but at some point one must watch out for one self and those you love. My only regret would to have been to allow their abuse of me and DH and my son to continue....See MoreNeed advice! Is my stepmother good or bad?
Comments (2)I did a search on motorcycle, and I landed here reading your post. I want to say to you it's better to have 2 moms than none. They all have good, bad, and selfish side. It could be a lot of worse if two of them were going through life changing at the same time...... do not feel sorry for yourself, everything happens for a reason-to make you a stronger person. You are getting your college education, and why not keep going to get your Master's degree, that could land you a good pay job, a PHD could be even better, with a Dr. next to your name. Just 3 more years of school for a Master's degree, you can do it. Be strong, forget about all the bad moments of your stepmom, clear it out your head, let it go with the wind, that's her problem not yours. Try to forgive her if you can. Your Life, your future is your focus right now, not hers, you have the power to change your life, you have the opportunity to make your life better, everything is in your own hands. Moving forward, looking ahead, you're very bright to get your education to archive skills, You're very lucky in many ways. One day at a time, one class at a time, you will get there.......study hard, really hard, you're building your future by getting all the good grades, there is nothing can stop you to have a bright future!...See Morejustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agopseudo_mom
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
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11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoVicky1975
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agojustmetoo
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10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoShelby Welch
6 years ago
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