That IS great news! Congratulations Ceph! - You see, taking the high road has paid off for you, A_ and even BM.

As we speak, I'm finishing up a paper that partially involves addressing "postfeminism" and the desire to "have it all" (defined, loosely, as romance + career + kids). The "postfeminist" stance would be that every woman not only CAN but SHOULD have it all (or else you are not 'complete' or 'super' enough as a woman). The staunch "Second Wave" feminist stance would be that this perception on the part of "postfeminists" is naive because they are wrong to think that all gender inequality is magically "over"; thus even striving to have it all is dumb and doomed. As for me, I consider myself a "Third Wave" feminist, so my personal view is kind of in the middle: Yes, it's very hard to "have it all", (especially if you don't have a lot of money) and that is in large part because of societal structures and differing gender expectations*; but we should keep trying, if "it all" is what we want, because we shouldn't have to choose when men don't have to choose. I think there are ways that society could be changed ---as well as individual personal decisions--- that could help us all (men and women) achieve and experience all that we want in this short life. But it takes cooperation. *Just finished reading an article by Maureen Dowd where she rightly points out the following GENERALIZED trends: -Most women, as they advance in their careers (and in their age), proportionately find their prospects for marriage and children going down. Married or not, busy professional or not, most women are expected to handle most of the "homemaking". As a result, most women find their lifestyle becoming more complicated, it being extremely difficult to juggle all three spheres (let alone friends, fashion and great hair!) -For men, the pattern is reversed: as they advance in their careers (and age is generally irrelevant), they find their prospects of marriage and children going UP. Especially if they are "busy professionals", they are not generally expected to take on too much of the "homemaking". As a result, their overall lifestyle improves. (And they don't spend much time worrying about fashion and great hair.) All that said... my boyfriend is a dream insofar as doing the majority of the cooking and cleaning while I have been working full-time and finishing my degree (and he works full-time, too). If the situation was reversed, I'd pick up more of the cooking & cleaning; in any event, the ideal is when both partners pull equal weight in all areas (but sometimes this has to be temporarily shuffled around). Not ready for kids yet, though! :)

Thanks for the comments everyone, and the congrats, Sweeby. I've momentarily kind of lost that warm and fuzzy feeling after the ring toss. In general I have thick skin (lots of teasing for being the chubby kid), but this one still makes me feel badly. Honestly, it makes me feel terrible. My mom is dying and I have no other family left. This is not DH's usual MO, so I'm sure I will get over this but I certainly won't forget it anytime soon. Geri

Wow - I was willing to give you at least 2 or 3 days before getting picture demanding - way to be on top of it! :-P You all look so relaxed and happy - I love the laughing picture. There are just times when you can tell it's 'right.' Congrats to you all - here's to many happy years of stepmom-ness!!