SS -One big problem, I think

14 years ago

I have four SS's. The youngest, 21, is the biggest problem. He lives with his grandmother ( another lovely story). We asked him to water our lawn while we were away on vacation. I thought at the time he was being and living responsibly and we needed him to help us out. Found out that he had a huge party with a bunch of people roaming around our house doing God knows what. Then I find out that the someone had sex in our bed. He denied it because I think he was really surprised that we found out. But what really bothered me was that about a month later the SS came to say sorry to me about what he did, I went home and relayed what the SS said to me to my DH and my OTHER SS. The other SS said that about 1 hr before he told me he was sorry, he was laughing about what he did an telling other family members that it was him who had sex in our bed. I was soooo hurt. I said alot of bad things about that SS to his brothers ( which I know I shouldn't) and they agreed that he is a jerk for doing what he did. Just recently my DH envited the idiot SS over for dinner ( I don't mind it, he just NEVER going to live with us..DH agrees). He said that he doesn't want to come over because of me....HUH??????

He said that one on his brothers told him what I said, and why should he come over since I said what I did. My Dh tried to tell him what he did was wrong and that he should take a look at his life ( there are other things this kid has done too.) the kid wouldn't listen. I couldn't believe it. He did what he did and now he's pissed at me?? I called the brother who told him what I said, he said that he only told him one thing, and not the other. He also said that the idiot SS is mad because his DAD has changed since we've gotten married. I told him ...yeah. I won't put up with the stupid behavior from anyone. He said he's not bothered, but his idiot brother is. I don't know who to trust or not to. Help.

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Comments (3)

justmetoo
14 years ago
--"....HUH?????? "--

I don't get as to why you're so shocked and what part you don't understand.

--"we needed him to help us out"--

No, you could have hired the yard task out. Depending on the maturity of single 21 year old males, invitation to empty house can be a real temptation. Did you layout rules of being at your home prior to leaving? I'm not saying SS should have entertained at your home and certainly not in your bed, he took advantage of the situation that he should not have done and he's very wrong to have done it.

Bad mouthing the SS to the other SS was a major goof up on your part in my opinion. If SS was sitting there telling you what other SS was saying , it it not occur to you that same SS would run right over/pick up cell and repeat what you so also?

I had a mother-in-law (now deceased) who use to play the anti-anti game of whining and gossiping about whatever family was not present at her house when my family was visiting her. I was not silly enough to chip in nor did I think that when my family was absent and another family was there that she did not do the same thing but about us. I remember once when the sister-in-law and I were having lunch, SIL started repeating to me what MIL had said about...., I cut SIL right off and told her I had no desire to hear it and we turned the talk to other topics. I refused to get in the middle of or partake in whatever anti-anti game MIL was weaving. I just never understood the MIL's need to stir up trouble and hard feelings about and between her kids.
mom2emall
14 years ago
There is nothing you can do now. Ss was wrong for his behaviors and bragging about the behavior. You were wrong for bad mouthing him to his brother. Either you go to him and explain your hurt over what you felt was a bogus apology. And tell him you are sorry for letting anger get the best of you and allowing yourself to badmouth him. Or you just let this situation go. In the future do not ask him for anything.
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hamgene
Original Author
14 years ago
Yeah I get that I shouldn't of bad mouth the SS to the other SS, but I think that is kinda funny that his blood family can say what they want about him ( and they rip into him) and the different problems he creates ( and believe me this SS has done a bunch of bad things), but when I get really mad at being lied to and deceived it's a federal crime to express MY feelings. I don't go around calling the SS to tell him what his brothers, Dad, Aunt's and Uncle's and so on say. I get mad, then I get over it. I did tell the SS how I felt and how it made me feel when he apologized. Then I was told that the SS was laughing about it an hour before and that his apology was not sincere. This was told to me by another SS, not the one that told him what I said. It's confusing who said what. But it is over. I don't mind if the SS comes over for dinner or just to hang with his Dad, but he needs to man up for what he has done. I don't mind telling him that my anger got the best of me ( and I am sure it would with ANYONE), but mean what you say, and say what you mean.

SS -One big problem, I think

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justmetoo

mom2emall

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hamgene
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SS -One big problem, I think

Comments (3)

justmetoo

mom2emall

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hamgeneOriginal Author

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hamgene
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