I raised a step daughter for over 18 years like my own, best I could. Taught her to read and such on my own so she would not struggle in school, tried to get her the nice things so she fit in, got her a new car, took care of her. No matter what you are never the "real Dad" though. I am not (step) father of the year I am FAR from perfect. I am VERY strict, homophobic and racist. The kid started giving me "the business" around age 12 and it got one hell of a lot worse from there. The mother sided and pampered her making things worse. The step daughter became very defiant and a right pain in the butt to me. I would basically just let the two of them have their way with things it was a lot less grief. When she was 20 living at home she searched out her real father who never paid any child support or cared a bit for her, he is on intravenous drugs and in jail most of the time. When she got caught going out of the state to see her real father she fabricated some spectacular story about going to save the children. Thank GOD I was at work when the mother and daughter had it out and she left to go live in her loser of a boyfriend's basement. She lived LARGE partying going to concerts for 6 to 8 months; she finally called home after a about year or so to say "sorry bout that" The mother and I were temporarily in agreement to be united, the mother is back to siding with the daughter at every turn. This step child is really the only significant disagreement we have. She still is seeing the same LOSER boyfriend and working on a 4 or 5 year degree at a two year school. (I tried to pay for college classes her senior year but was accused of ruining her childhood) Now after over two years and all on her terms the mother says I am suppose to eat tuna salad with her and take my other two kids who are too young to understand this Jerry Springer show to see her. I feel like the step Dad I was made to feel like over a period of the last ten years. I do not want my little kids used as pawns. It is clear to me the step daughter and I are basically done and have been for years. I served my purpose a roof, guidance, and direction when their way failed. Mom has romantic ideas we are one big happy family, or her and all "her kids " can have play visits together. I do not feel like our oldest earned a spot at the big kids table especially with visitation of other little kids. I think she wants in my will more than anything, that is all I was ever good for- money. The Mom does not care what the kid did or does or how she acts itÂs her child. The ultimate problem is the mother and I can not get on the same page, Mom perpetually and blindly sides with her step over everyone. . It is not just me that noticed this. The step daughter wants to be around Mom and the other kids on occasion and I think gets a rise out of causing problems. (Of course anyone who would suggest that to Mom would be LUCIFER) I cringe at going to "professional help" but am at my end, Can anyone say something smart here? Anyone suffered a similar seventh circle of hell? Any words of wisdom or ?