I feel you Ima. I tell you what....I'm about to delete my facebook because of stupid crap like this. That's why I don't even get on there much anymore. People post stuff on my wall or ask me questions and my own MIL answers them for me! I've moved onto a new addiction anyways, Pinterest. LOL.

I can see where FB has brought together alot of people but it has probably caused just as much trouble too!

lol, I ignored MIL's friend request. NO WAY!!! But, I was already FB friends with BIL & SIL because they have been on FB since I opened my account, MIL just opened hers. I'd hate to delete it because ONE person wants to write nasty things to me. I know this doesn't sound nasty to most people but the ONLY time she posts anything is to "confront" me about SD. When DH took SD shopping for school clothes (because I refused to take her), I commented something to him like "good luck shopping with a teen girl..lol" and SIL went off on me... even her son who's 15 had something to say.. as if I was writing nasty mean things about SD. Later on, they both said they felt they needed to "protect" SD and defend her. Um, mothers of teen girls write stuff like that all the time.. or worse. I am about to unfriend her. I just don't get why she doesn't unfriend me... obviously she doesn't like me & has nothing nice to say to me. I don't 'not like' her, I don't know her. I have felt sorry for her because of the way MIL talks about her... I know she took the brunt before I came along. It's more about THAT than it being posted on FB. I'm beginning to dread Christmas, which is probably what they want... so I don't go. I may just give them what they want & let DH go alone. My DIL expressed an interest in seeing DGS that day so I may offer to drive him so I have a good reason to not go with DH... I don't really feel I need a reason at all but at least DH can explain to his mom that I had to go instead of it looking like I just don't want to go see them... lol, which I really don't.

Grrrr! It does make me angry that I am willing to suck it up & be nice for DH's sake. I ordered personalized gifts for them & was going to go & be gracious/cordial but now I don't know if I could muster a fake smile for that group. I'm pretty sure DH would understand if I don't want to go but they would give him a hard time... and I don't see him standing up to them. He might, but I doubt it. He wants everyone to just get along.

oh yeash....

Ima, I feel you too. My solution is to put anyone who annoys me in a separate group, then I exclude them from status updates. Every once in a while I'll post a simple one that they are included on so they feel like they're seeing something.

I HATE FB but I have a TON of family overseas who I would not be in contact without the FB connection (or, it would be a lot harder).

I have started playing Words with Friends, some through FB, some through iPhone. It is not unusual for me to have 4-6 games going at once. Well, in November, some of my FB friends began daily postings of things for which they are thankful. This was just after the fiasco of our attempt at family time with DH's son, DIL, and grandkids, so I wasn't feeling particularly thankful...but I was really enjoying the play of WwF, so I decided to post a Word with Friends Word of the Day...well, it has been brought to my attention that DH's son & DIL felt as if the words I was posting were directed at them and, consequently, DH's son has not contacted DH since we left to return home nearly 2 months ago.

This is an example of one of my posts: WwF Word of the Day: Austere

I don't have a ton of FB friends, ~120 (mostly family --- Irish Catholic --- siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends from HS, college & grad school, a few co-workers, etc). I know of no other FB friend who thought I was sending secret messages with my random postings of vocabulary words that were inspired by an online scrabble game.

I never posted anything about DH & I traveling to his son's house...don't want to broadcast our absence from the house in case my FB account gets hacked; never implied any of the words I posted were potshots towards them, but somehow, they managed to personalize fun I was having with friends.

When I learned DH's son was using this as an excuse not to have contact with DH, I took care of it pretty quickly by deleting DIL, SS1, SS1's wife, & SD. All of them have somewhere in the neighborhood of 200-400 FB "friends", so I doubt they have even noticed I've removed them.

I just refuse to let SS2 use me in any way, shape, or form as being responsible for his lack of a relationship with DH...wish SS2 would put on his big boy panties and take ownership of his relationship (or lack thereof) with his dad...after nearly 17 years of this, I am well beyond my limit.

I all-but quit getting on FB for the same reasons.

There was a lot of stuff going on with X over the summer and into November that I haven't talked about because, quite frankly, I'm afraid to give the nastiness a voice to rule me with. Anyway, XMIL is one of my friends (I think I've talked about this before), but I have serious and credible reason to believe she was allowing X access to her FB so he could snoop mine. She kept DS a few times over the summer, during MY custodial periods, and was sweet as pie and overly obliging. The last time I picked him up, she lied to my face when I asked her about some things going on with X (totally unrelated to me). As it turns out, the whole time, she was trying to gather info for X to give to an attorney to take custody of DS from me.

This all came to a head Labor Day weekend when X blew up at DS for a seemingly unknown reason. Long story short, looks like X's attorney told him he had no chance in Hades at getting custody if DS doesn't want to leave. XMIL was stealing pictures from my page. Not like last time when she shared the picture from my page. She was actually tagging herself, making an album, and untagging herself, as if I wouldn't know she did it. Honestly, I wouldn't have believed it if someone told me she did that, because she is extremely technologically impaired, but I just so happened to be on FB at the very time she did it and watched it happen (it was actually very weird to watch).

The sad part is she was commenting on it as if she or X actually attended the events! In reality, she didn't and actually hadn't even talked to DS about it.

The real kicker was that X called DS after one of those events, before XMIL stole the pics, and made a comment to him about how nice he looked. That's how I knew he had been on her page, because I have him blocked so he wouldn't be able to see the pics even if I tagged XMIL in them, which I didn't. And I'd be willing to bet X is the one who actually did the stealing of the pics.

Sorry, Ima, I posted before I got to my point. I guess my point is that sometimes in order to be nice, we end up putting ourselves in worse situations. If I were you, I would block them and if it causes drama, say "I'm sorry you were offended, but I was offended by your post and I felt like blocking you was the best way to keep the peace."

I would just unfriend them and definitely would not go to their holiday get togethers. Why torture yourself? Seriously you are damned if you do and damned if you don't go. At least if you stay home or take DGS you will have some control over how your holiday goes and you can be sure to at least relax and enjoy a good book!
Cat

A couple of days ago, I unfriended both of them. Then, yesterday I decided to also block them as I do not want any contact with them on FB. I didn't do it because I'm mad & if she wants to be "friends", she can call me up & we can go have lunch... where she can actually get to know me. I won't hold my breath but I did tell DH what I did & why. If anyone gets confronted, it will be him since they don't talk to me. I don't anticipate her confronting me, in the six years DH & I have been together, she has said very little to me. She did come up to me at the end of my wedding to say I just joined a crazy family... but didn't elaborate, she just said that & walked away. I can almost hear Bill Engvall's voice saying "here's your sign!". That was the most she's ever said directly to me. At any other events, she might talk in a group or say hello but we've never had a conversation.

I agree, I'm damned if I do or don't. DIL isn't going to get DGS on Christmas after all so I am taking him to see my mom. She gets out of the hospital on Saturday... they had to do emergency surgery on her after she developed an infection at a prior surgical site following her first round of chemo. She's doing well for now. I'm busy the next couple of days helping my sister with her stepdaughter's impromptu wedding. We have had 2 weeks to put it together & she gets married on Saturday, Christmas Eve. She just got back from Germany on Sunday so she's only been in on the planning since Monday. She's in the Army, stationed in Germany so she goes back on New Years. That has kept me busy, along with Christmas... and my son comes home next week too.

I feel a sense of peace over the situation with DH's family, however I also feel like I'm spinning in every direction and if the spinning stops, I will crash hard. Grrr. I'm just going to pick one issue at a time to get through so that doesn't happen. I really appreciate having this place to vent & for the support it provides. Thank you all.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

IMA, Glad to read you had a good Christmas afterall. Hope 2012 is healthy and prosperous.