Ooh yay more responses!! :) There is a flush mount light, since the wiring is not centered over the table. Long story having to do with our not-stellar builder. To center something I would have to deal with about 3.5' of cord. Here's where my taste gets complex. And frustrating. And -- impossible. I love a lot of "Mexican" pieces - heavy pine furniture, rustic pottery, etc. but I do not love a true Mexican look - I don't care too much for the textile patterns, overall palette, etc. I actually used to have a flat weave rug that my MIL loomed hanging over the table, but it was too large for the space. One that's a more suitable size is on my perpetual shopping list. I've been looking for something I love for a very long time, and no luck yet. I would love to have something other than a print there, prints are just "safe" for me - easy. I'm competent at hanging a print. I have all sorts of hangy things but I'm not competent when it comes to piecing together things that don't obviously "go," and I'm not very skilled when it comes to arranging things in space (spatial is not one of my higher intelligences!) I just raided my storage room with a camera and got a VERY SMALL sampling of things to show my "taste." Do you see any of these things "going" together? Because I can't, and would need help here. A large lantern w/ glass inserts that I adore, but can't find the perfect place for: Wrought iron sun shape w/ mirror insert: Obligatory Pier 1 candleholder: A pair of candleholders: Two similar wall hangings that are sun outlines with amber inserts. And a grass-like metal thing (thought it would look good in my bathroom once upon a time) on top of them: Carved wood mirror: ...and lots more where those came from.

All of you ladies are so right!!! I am so thankful I found this forum, to give me the courage to do what I knew inside I needed to do. After my last post to lilysuzanne last night, I sent him a text message (he was at his mom's with is kids). It was around 2:30am... if course I couldn't sleep. The text said basically I couldn't be in this relationship with him any more & I would talk to him in the mornign when he came home. This morning, we had that conversation. I did break up with him. As bad as I hurt, I feel that much more liberated. He kept saying stuff was about his kids, but as I pointed out to him, nothing he said correlated to his children. It was all about him and his fear(s) of committment, "manning up", and DEMONSTRATING his love for me. He referenced the times less than four that he has attempted to do family oriented things with me and his children. He said his son feels uncomfortable because of tension that he feels, and felt 1 or 2 other times when we were all together and his father and I were upset with one another. I reminded him that we have NEVER argued in front of or around his children; not even when we were all the same house. He said, it was "ONE" time his son flet like we were angry with one another and it made him feel uneasy... Now, everytime I am around he (his son) gets that feeling. My answer to that was: 1. The only way to overcome negative feelings is to be consistently positive, and taling advantage of those moments when the opportunity presents itself. 2. The tension his son felt was the uneasiness that we all have being on pins & needles around each other the less than four times I have been around them. Moreover, my BF does nothing to counteract his son's excuses. 3. He knows just like I know, that if a child hears bad things from BioM for years and dad does nothing to counteract the negativity, then the child will feed off of that. He said he knew that I have never done anything to disrespect or hurt his children. His children would respect me in my presence, BUT he needs to make sure that his realtionship with his kids is guarded. He is concerned about how they "view" him. To me, that was a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Another excuse! His children will always love him. All he has to do is do what is right. We went on and on--- so much was said... but the bottom line was that I told him I just couldn't do this anymore. He agreed that I was a selfLESS person, and had given up a lot. He left the house, but called in 5 minutes trying to confuse me... but I held my ground! He said... "Everytime I think we are making progress in our relationship, and getting closer to the goal of marriage something comes up to step in the way of the plan." I know his goal was to catch me off guard and say to myself, "Self, you are moving too fast. Slow down. He was about to ask you to marry him. Give him a little longer... another chance." Luckily, I could visualize every post on this forum from last night. I almost gagged, that he thought after all we talked about that I should wait one more day to move "closer..." Is he crazy? Wait! Let me answer that... YES! He is CRAZY! 9 years is long enough. THANKS LADIES, and angelz DH (for giving me a man's POV, whiched helps me to seal the deal).

Stepmomof4 and newwife58, thank you both so much. I can't tell you how much this forum has already helped me personally. I sucks that BM can put a strain on my marriage. We are newly married as well. I just worry if I can strong enough to keep fighting the fight. Our goal is simply peace in our home. Newwife58, I love the advice of keeping it out of the bedroom. Just last night the hubby and I were in our room talking about what to do next with BM. I announced it was 9:31, the discussion is over till tomorrow. I really do believe the children need counseling. When BM was backer acted, dad tried to get custody to no avail. We live in Florida, if that helps give anyone some insight. Family Law's are outdated. Let me share an email BM sent. By the way, she completely abuses any form of communication. In the past 4 days we have received 17 emails!!! AND It is really hard to not respond to them. Is that our best approach? To just ignore them? We so badly want to just tell her off, ya know? Stick up for our self. *BM is speaking of me here of course* "It just seems there is something off with her. She seems to have an issue with everything. Its just wierd. Its immature. I know because before u were with her we had decent and civil communication. Now however god forbid I wanna tell u anything at all about the kids. Its an issue.. She seems to feel threatend by my kids or the fact that u were married before. She feels the need to control and manipulate any contact with the kids. Its just wierd and sad. But that's ur choice and I'm glad u r happy. My kids will hav to deal with the fact that u no longer hav any interest in them or their day to day lives." Second email from BM : "(dads name here), U can also tell ur wife to stop writing all in my kids school adjendas. That's for PARENTS to sign. Not someone who sees them 2x a month. And plays absolutely no role in their lives or schooling. She is in no way their parent. I am. I guess it makes her feel important to sign their school things. LoLOLOLOLOL!! Pullleeaaase!" Let me just say, BM is still married to husband #2 but now has a new man living in her home for about 2 months, or so. This new guy also signs the children's school papers.but that's okay with her?!?! Is it so bad that I, their SM, wrote a note in SD's workbook, "have a great week at school. Love dad and (my name)" Or that I wrote a note in her book to help her remember how to spell a word correctly?? She is completely off base here. I don't know if this is part of her disorder or what. Have you ever had to deal with someone that no matter what you say, how you say it, they JUST don't get it? Thing is, not that long ago her and I were able to work well together. Before this, BM would tell me that she couldn't have picked a better SM for her children, that she is comfortable in her position, they could call me mom if they wanted, etc. She only sung my praises before, saying things have only improved since I have been around. BUT she couldn't control herself, called me an ugly, fat whore one too many times, I put her in her place and stopped all contact. Before this, BM would tell me that she couldn't have picked a better SM for her children, that she is comfortable in her position, they could call me mom if they wanted, etc. She only sung my praises before, saying things have only improved since I have been around. It seems to me that BM really WANTS to believe that my hubby is only restricting her because I am making him. Saying they used to be civil is a joke. They have never been civil. There was just too much destruction in their marriage, too much hurt. I don't believe they will ever be able to peacefully co parent. I digress. Sorry this has been so long. I am new here and felt that I needed to give a bit of a back-story. ***My main objective, as quickly as we can, figure out how to set boundaries and enforce BM to comply. What is the best approach here? How do we stop BM from telling the children that we are drug addicts, alcoholics, or that we don't love them or that I'm not their parent?? Her opinions are her own, that's fine but BM can not be allowed to continue to tell the children these things. Like I said, you CAN'T tell her anything. We have tried everything and now feel that we must resort to legal action. That is why I am here.. Thank you all!!

I can't even imagine. The reporting is what annoys me. Several articles are more interesting in how much the house cost and who the mother was sleeping with while judging her for making it out alive. I don't think anyone can really say what they would do in that situation unless they've been there. I imagine if it were at all possible she would have saved her kids but it sounds like that house went up very quickly and they were on different floors. Maybe she went outside to get a ladder to try to reach them from the outside if she couldn't from the inside, maybe the firemen wouldn't let her back in, who knows. That poor lady is going to replay it every single day for the rest of her life. I feel so bad for her.