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| Read several replies on whether anyone liked their step-kids...that's a tricky one for me because I love them but do not like them most of the time, make sense? Mine are older and even though they tell their Dad I treat them better than their own mother, they treat me pretty bad. The stepson was really pretty good until he married someone like his sister and then he just doesn't have any sense about himself. He gets really mad over the silliest things with his Dad and doesn't call or return his Dad's calls unless he wants something. At least I know if he's calling there is something he wants. My step-daughter has always been like that. I felt pretty bad for their Dad until this year and then it dawned on me that he could change it if he wanted to. I don't appreciate anyone being nasty to me and their Dad has let that happen throughout the years. So I've lost a lot of respect for him because of this.
But, with this said, I still don't want anything to happen to them. |
Follow-Up Postings:
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- Posted by silversword (My Page) on Thu, Dec 23, 10 at 1:17
| I love my stepdaughter. She is FABULOUS. Super good sense of humor, really cute, really respectful. We honestly get along great. And I credit her mom for her success as a little person. (I know, it's too good to be true...) But really, I couldn't ask for a cooler stepdaughter. |
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| june60 your message sounds like it could be me. i agree it hard to like them (adults now) after all they have done to me but i still would not want anything bad to happen to them |
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- Posted by imamommy (imamommy21@yahoo.com) on Thu, Dec 23, 10 at 9:11
| "And I credit her mom for her success as a little person." I believe how the parents parent, handle the divorce & remarriage of their ex, etc. determine a great deal of how they adjust & get along with stepparents. (Not always, they do have their own feelings but it can so easily be influenced by the parents) I credit BM for many (not all) of SD's problems. I feel bad for SD, I care about her because she is a child, I'd protect her & when I want to do nice things for her, I do it secretly so I can see her enjoy it. If she KNEW it came from me, she would reject it. Of course I don't want anything bad to happen to her, but I do not "like" the person she is becoming. What's ironic, she gets hurt, angry etc. at the things her mom does but then she does the SAME things her mom does, but doesn't get why it's a problem for anyone else. I can't even imagine how it will be when she becomes an adult. My hope is that she will grow up/mature & things will change. |
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- Posted by catlettuce (My Page) on Sat, Dec 25, 10 at 22:13
| June verbalized pretty much how I feel about my step situation also. Well said. Detaching has been my saving grace. Though I no longer wish to have a relationship (other than cordial) with them, I still would not wish anything unpleasant for them. |
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| I agree with imamommy. Although I hate that my ex and his wife give me no credit. My DDs therapist gives me LOTS of credit bc when she started seeing DD, she expected to see some parental alienation out of DD caused by me and she said she has not seen one ounce of parental alienation. DD has NO clue what a deadbeat her dad had been. Therapist has said DD is very well adjusted and i get tons of compliments from teachers and other parents how sweet DD is and how respectful and caring she is. I have to give myself a huge pat on the back bc as much as I can't stand my ex and his wife, I always talk positive about them to DD. My niece is a very disrespectful teenager and I lost a lot of respect for her this week. And my sister In law. She said 'i tell my mom if she prays everyday her husband (my brother and nieces dad) will get hotter' I said 'what God are you praying to?' she said 'obviously not the same one as you because it isn't working' and she pointed to my husband. So I was pissed. My sister in law came up to me later and said 'she is just a kid, she doesn't know what she is talking about' that's when I realized my sister in law has raised her brat daughter to be just like her. So I completely agree. It's how they are raised. |
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