Personally, I tried one once, and found it so horribly uncomfortable that I'd never wear one longer than it took to get my husband's attention. And then, I'd get the darned thing off just as soon as he stopped laughing! ;-) But I have heard several younger women swear they are very comfortable...

If you think she's wanting to wear them to be sexy, I'd have a problem with it -- especially given her history and social state. But if it's genuinely for comfort or 'all the girls wear them' reasons, then I'd probably reluctantly agree.

BUT - I'd call the school gym teacher first to get an honest and unbiased opinion on whether or not 'all' the girls do wear them.

ladyflutter,

Seems to me that if you need to ask you already know the answer. I also find thongs uncomfortable but I know DH thinks they are sexy. So, I will wear them for him. We are adults and married and it is a private thing.

A thong is a pretty sexy item for a 14 year old. Who is going to see it??? If no one, which is the right answer, then why wear one? Nope on that, I'm a stepmom.

When I worked in a department store, I saw many women buying them for their teens. I kept quiet but shook my head... wondering what has happened to parenting. Maybe I'm too old fashioned to understand why anyone would want to wear one... maybe when you have a revealing dress and can't have lines? But, it shouldn't be something parents encourage, in my opinion. (right up there with piercings & tattoos.... they may do it anyways, but not with MY blessing)

My SD was 7 when she announced at the dinner table that wearing a thong felt weird. She told her dad that her mom let her wear one at her house. Fortunately, my daughter who is now 19, has never shown an interest in following these trends.

I don't wear them because they are extremelly uncomfortable, DD is 21 and finds them uncomfortable as well, she does not wear them. yes many girls wear them, I don't know why, some say so there are no panty lines shown, don't know, at 14 i would not encourage it.

Oh dear, I have no girls but can tell you I would definately not go for that if I did. I'm a mom & stepmom.
-Cat

A 14 year old who's been raped, and needs attention from boys to "define herself" has bigger issues than her underwear. Thongs or not, she needs something else to occupy her time and her mind. Sports, dance, music? And what was she doing with a 17 year old? I think family counseling could be useful.

what idee said.

If I were in your shoes, I'd tell her that sexiness was the least of the reasons for nixxing the idea;

thongs cause nasty smelly infections that itch like fire & discharge disgusting stuff, as bacteria from the gut gets transferred to the vagina.

I am a SM and a BM, none of my girls will be wearing a thong at 14....IMO they ARE uncomfortable and the majority of people wear them to be sexy.......

My custodial SD (almost 15) had a few instances this year - her Freshman year in high school - to need a thong, so I did buy her two. Formal dance dresses where panty lines weren't part of the outfit, and a few things she needed to wear yoga pants for. I know she isn't wearing them to be seen or be sexy so I reluctantly agreed to them. Since I wear one daily with suits I can't say they aren't a good anti-panty line option.

In your case, when it sounds like she wants them for the wrong times and wrong reasons, I would not be okay with it. Has anyone asked her why she thinks she needs them - why regular underwear won't work?

As a BM of a 24 yr.daughter, She asked me if she could wear them when she was 13.I said go ahead a try it. She has been wearing them ever since and will not wear anything else.She is comfortable with them and I could find no reason not to have her wear them.It brought back memories of when I asked my BM and SM if I could wear bikini underware and they both thought it just fine.Its the comfort thing.My 24 yr.old said all her friends still wear thongs.I say let her,its just underwear for heavens sake.

I was thinking what JNM said. I wear them too so you can not see underwear lines. I find them comfortable and have not ever had any infections like Sylvia mentioned.

I think the appropriateness of a thong depends on what style of clothing she wears. I wear shirts that cover my waist line so my thong is never exposed. I think when girls wear tiny shirts and hip hugging jeans and their thong is hanging out it is trashy. If that is how the girl dresses then I would have an issue.

But imho thongs are an undergarment and are a personal preference. By high school I would allow my girls to wear one if they chose. Neither of my sd's have wanted to though.

Girls need to feel feminine especially as a teenager. It's about feeling pretty, and yes for a woman, sexy figures into that. My girls have worn what they choose without much input from me. They dress conservative by their own choice.
Sure fire way to get a kid to do something, make it taboo.
They also maintained virginity untill 18 and 19. They are very attractive girls. Just teach em self worth and self value.
Panties dont make a girl slutty, self hatred will tho. Real quick.

I'm SM and BM.
After 13 or 14, I think a girl should be able to choose her own underwear. Although thongs can cause more infections than regular cotton panties; nylon panties are also more prone to causing infections. Let her know she will need to keep herself extra clean and not to wear them more than one day. (duh?) Make sure they are cotton and don't say "property of" or anything like that ;) There are "trashy/slutty" bikini panties too.

I wear thong underwear. I started in highschool. When you have a booty like mine it gets real old picking out wedgies. I told my mom it's a lot more comfortable to just have a tiny bit of material there than a big wad. Although she thinks they're awful she could understand.

And, BTW, my DH likes those low, full front/back "short" style panties that kind of ride up the bottom of my cheeks. I think they are REALLY uncomfortable for everyday use. Just goes to show, not all guys prefer thongs, and it's the model of pantie that is sexy, not the make (just 'cause it's a Chevy doesn't mean it's a Corvette).

Panties are cheap. If you don't buy them for her, she'll probably get them somewhere else and hide them.

"Taken out of counseling..." By whom? Of course she thinks she can take care of herself... she's a teenager!! I agree that the blocks can add up, but I don't think the panties are a full block. No counseling, needs boys to define herself, incidence of rape, those are full blocks. Maybe a block and a half each. Panties and makeup are but small chips in comparison.

(was this a "virgin" rape, were they dating... who defined this as rape...) I hate to ask those questions, having sex with a 13 year old is wrong, but exactly what happened will have a big difference on how it is perceived by her. For instance, if it's a state-defined rape due to age difference but she was willing.... or if it was a forcible rape by an acquaintance/family member/boyfriend... or if it was willing but the parents are unable to accept that so she lied...

"Panties dont make a girl slutty, self hatred will tho. Real quick." Well said Pinkhill.