how to deal with Step-Son
marmie22
16 years ago
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16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoimamommy
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Lying Step-Son
Comments (2)As for the cell phone my company has family plans. I can actually go onto the internet and set their usage details. I can block them from downloading things onto their phones. I can block them from calls during certain hour blocks of the day. I can block certain numbers from their phones for incoming or outgoing calls. I can set "always allowed" numbers that they can call 24/7 no matter if the phone has a block during part of the day. So for our kids phones me and my dh have set our #'s as always allowed. And then we block the kids phones from receiving/making calls and texts during school hours and after 9pm. As for his lying, that is a whole other issue. He could be embarrassed. He could not be trying. He could not be getting the help he needs in school. Has he ever been tested for learning issues? I agree with the last poster though and let his mom and dad deal with his lying. You need to stay neutral so you can have a good relationship with your ss. With him living so far away you really should not be involved in any type of disciplining him. Not a good spot for you....See MoreStep son issues
Comments (8)I just wanted to say things have been going a lot better, me and dad sat down had a talk about some of the things I've been holding in for awhile. It feels like a weight has been lifted alil. I am more in control of situations, I speak up before I sit an stew on it, I think part of it was I was holding in, in fear dad was going to hate me/ be mad at me, but I am home all day with kids, so why should i hold a grudge to a child? I should not, I've been looking up lots of chore charts, behavior charts and dinner menu charts since my SS is alwAys telling me what he wants to eat, well he can plan the meals lol, what helps is me opening up and dad really getting behind me :). We still have situations where we don't agree but at least we talk about it. I still have situations where his son does some annoying habits but I walk away, or I tell him, "I'm not mad, I don't hate you, but right now I'm cooking dinner/cleaning, and in 10-30 minutes you can have my full attention, if you want to help me and not be in the way I'd appreciate it." I tried to explain to him about his talking/ and standing in my way is like him trying to watch tv or play his favorite game and me blocking the tv and talking to him, annoying right? Lol. I just have to find ways to say things with out hurting his feelings he does not realize its rude. My own son has been kind of an issue lately. He is realizing saying "you hate me" gets him what he want with my ex! It's hard hearing "you hate me mommy". At 7:30am cause he wants candy and I say NO. Well anyway. Things are looking up and I'm glad I opened up!...See MoreHow do I deal with my step-father? (long, sorry)
Comments (35)PART 2 he has spread lies about me all over town, has people look out for me and call him when they see me like I'm some kind of criminal. I've never been arrested or in trouble with the law. never was dishonest with them. matter of fact my honesty has been anmd still is used agaiunst me. his son is a dope head, has been arrested,for domestic violence, grand theft auto, breaking and entering, drugs, u name it. I still deal with the abuse because I need my adopted mom for a place to stay. I feel like a pile of dung for having to depend on her. its impossible to be independent when your making 10.50 hr. With a growing boy in school and fiance is hashing out problems with SSI as he is unable to work. and because she is brainwashed into thinking she needs him, he has control and messes with me however he can, yet i cant think of a way to kleep him away from me and quit messing with me. He set the pool pump to go on for 5 hours everyday and locked it and did the same with the sprinklers so we cant change it. I pay the water and electric bill. He's got the whole world it seems like convinced I'm on drugs. that infuriates me because no one sees that he's being dishonest and unreasonable. they all know his son is a skrew up and a drug addict and that he's been in all sorts of trouble. and I'm not yet they believe him. I wanna know where did his credibility come from? y are his friend and he's so stupid to believe him and not question his mean nasty things he says in such a mean nasty way about a child (when I was) and when he still talks so bad about me now, and to mainly the same people, now that I'm an adult and doing my own thing y don't they ever question him? I mean come on, it's got to get old at some point, this crazy white hair man running around can't keep my name out his mouth. y he is so hell bent on proving to the world that im a skrew up??...See MoreThe Pouting Step Son
Comments (4)It's a difficult age under the best of circumstances. One book I found really helpful was "How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Your Kids Will Talk" -- That book had some parenting suggestions that I've found really helpful at eliminating pouting, nagging and shouting. For example, for the dishwasher, you would have one "generic" family conversation about how every person should put his or her own dishes in the dishwasher. No finger pointing. Explain what items can't go into the DW and ask if anyone has any questions. Get everyone to agree to put their dishes in the DW. Then, when he puts a dirty dish in the DW, say "Thanks." When you see a dirty dish left out, you would simply point out "There's a bowl in in the sink" or, if you *know* it's his, "Your bowl is in the sink." -- The idea is that he knows what he needs to do to take care of the bowl situation, and by allowing him to do it himself, rather than telling him what to do, he takes ownership of the process, you're not the bad guy, and the job gets done with everyone feeling happier. It's subtle, but it really does make a difference....See Morehlmhr
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