Need an objective opinion

14 years ago

Would it be wrong to provide Adult SS's phone number to collection agencies that are calling for his BM?

How do I know they dont already have his number?

And I feel like.......let him see what I've had to put up with for years now from his wonderful mother...some of these collection agencies are nasty and have even accused me of being her and denying it..so what do you think?

Comments (9)

ceph
14 years ago
Hmm, while I would be tempted too... You probably should not.

Do you know HER phone number? Because I'd give them that in a heartbeat!
poppingrays
14 years ago
These companies are not calling about SS's debts, so I would not give out his phone number. And if they do have his number, then you don't have to feel guilty for being the one that gave it to them. The best thing to do is provide the companies that call with BM's address (if you have it). I don't think it's fair to drag SS into that.

If these companies persist in calling you, ask to speak to a manager and tell them you'd be happy to give them your attorney's phone number so he can draw up papers of harrassment against those companies (whether you have an attorney or not, usually it's enough of a bluff to get them to back off.)
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finedreams
14 years ago
agree with poppinggrays. they should not be caling you for her debt
justmetoo
14 years ago
No, I would not hand the number of the SS over, but as said above, I'd give them anything ya got on the BM.

Similar to what happened at my home a number of years back when SS42 moved back from the East coast. He was going through his deadbeat years and he had given DH/my address and phone number (without our permission or even acknowledge) when he applied for stuff and as his forwarding address when he moved.

My phone went crazy day after day, week after week and I was totally swamped with nasties that I had nothing to do with and shocked to the core what the kid had done. Well, dad worked all day so it was me with the phone calls. I totally blew after about six weeks at hubby when he walked in and then sank down in the kitchen chair and cried (it had been a crazy day on the phone).

Hubby was livid over the calls and at the SS42. There was a stack of mail building up in a drawer for the son so, right or wrong, he stomped over opened the mail and took the next day off to call all these places giving them not only SS42's numbers and address but also the work numbers and information. The calls at my home stopped immediately.

There was a pretty mean show down between SS42 and his dad over opening his mail and turning his info over. Telling his dad that his dad had violated his privacy, had no right blah blah blah.

No, again, no, do not put your SS through this, he did nothing wrong and in no way deserves to have these calls dumped on him. BM is fair game, it's her mess and she should be the one dealing with it, not you and not her son.

It took me months to want to even listen to SS42 attempts at explainations and 'I'm sorry'.
mlly
Original Author
14 years ago
Last numbers we had for BM are all disconnected - we have no idea her current whereabouts either She was the typical dead beat mother you probably have read about in many posts on here....she owes DH thousands in child support I am sure he will never see any of it..

I honestly think she gives our phone number & address out as hers ( we get mail for her too and she has never lived here)....very frustrating....
sylviatexas1
14 years ago
Can't you have something added to your credit report or file that tells potential creditors that they have to verify that the application came from the person at that address / phone number?

& you can mark the mail "not at this address" & return it.
mom2emall
14 years ago
We had a collector calling for bm a few months ago and he was friendly when I explained to him who I was and that she never lived in our home. He told me they use a database that cross references the persons name with anyone they may be related to or even be neighbors with!!! That's how we came up. I happily passed on a few of bm's immediate family members numbers as well as her boyfriends parents home number. Call me evil if u want. But when I'm getting woken up at 7 am on my only day to sleep in I get nasty!

Why not skip ss's number and hand out bm's other family members numbers?
mlly
Original Author
14 years ago
I do write "return to sender this person does not live here" on all mail that comes for her - still keeps coming..and for some reason it makes me SOOOOO angry, wish I could get over it...

As far as other family members - dont know any - BM's parents are both dead - BM has 2 siblings that have never had anything to do with her, DH never even met them in the 7 years they were married (you would think this would have been a huge red flag)

Anyway thanks for the advice guys, I appreciate it and even though I really want to give out SS's number, I wont

I guess its really minor compared to a lot of what I read on here
weed30 St. Louis
14 years ago
Fill out a Change of Address form at the post office. In the space for new address, write "Moved Left No Forwarding".

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