If it continues I would recommend a sleep study. The brains activity can be monitored during sleep to identify a possible disorde. I have nightterror disorder since childhood (it is a biological disorder having nothing to do with scary movies or molestion) However.. periods of stress or being overly tired (sleep deprived) can bring them on. I suppose scary movies .. etc. could trigger an episode if the movies were causing a stressed out state just prior to sleep. They commonly occur within the first hour or two after falling asleep. I would Rule out a disorder before just treating them as ordinary dreams. with sleep terrors the child "wakefulness" invades the sleep.. basically asleep and awake at the same time. Your eyes are open and you SEE things that seem real because you are partially awake and seeing it. very terrifying. medications may help. Just Knowing what it is .. I found to be a huge help. I'm not crazy .. etc. Less scary that way. a characteristic of terrors is bolting upright in bed sometimes yelling. hope this helps :) maybe it will help someone

callieandkarin, I want to respond first to your Eeeevil Stepparent stereotype. I do not believe that the stepparent is evil in general. Some of the step mothers that I happen to know are among my closest friends that I have known for years. They are all really good people. They are kind, smart, attractive, wonderful women. They are well liked by others. However, when each of these women have remarried, they each married men with children. In every case, I thought that if anyone could pull it off, these women could, because they each genuinely like children to begin with. But in each case, (of the women that I know who have married a man with children) each found it very difficult to like "his" children. Each went on to have new children with their new husband, and somehow things got worse. I am surprised that they cannot bring themselves to like...let alone love, his children, but they do not. Does that make them evil? Of course not. Does it make a wonderful loving environment for a child to grow up in and feel loved and accepted? Sadly, no. Are there legions of stepchildren who are "deeply loved" by their stepparents? I hope so, but I personally do not know any. If there are, please comment on the forum. Are there legions of children who are taken better care of by their step parents than by their bio-parent...absolutely. Because many stepparents have exceptional character and will "step up to the plate" and do the right thing...regardless of how they feel. While the bio-parent may indeed be only self interested, even if their behavior hurts their own children. My response was in response to lee676 saying that "sooner or later he will realize that divorce means parents leaving each other, and NOT parents leaving children". Often parents DO leave children too in a divorce. Most do not exactly mean too. It just "happens". They once lived at home with their children. Divorce happens and they remarry. They now see their own child every weekend or every other weekend, if they live nearby. But you have so many parents (and lets tell it like it is, and say fathers for the most part) who remarry someone, and he ends up seeing his children less and less. For many, many, many children...they only see their own father over summer break, and maybe a holiday or two , because he lives in another state, with his new wife and children. Or perhaps he does not live that far away, but his new wife gets upset when he brings his children to their house, and so the visits are dwindling down to lunch at mcDonalds or something. Yes, there are many that do their best to make the children feel a part of things...but there are many, many who don't...and you cannot pretend that does not happen in divorce. It simply does. Obviously not in every case, but in many, many divorces it does. Sadly. In regards to your comment about Dr. Laura Schlesinger...you have a woman who rubs many people the wrong way...and many times...I disagree with something she has said, or I think that her delivery is rude. However, I disagree with your comment that she is ignorant. She has spent her life talking to people (including children) who need guideance with problems. I believe that she has a unique view from talking to people for the last (I don't know...30 years) that few people have. Whether I agree or disagree with her...I would never call her ignorant. And I respect that she will stand up (alone) on something she believes in, and will NEVER buckle to popular opinion or views, like most people do. They go along with what ever they think will impress others. It takes courage to stand up...alone...and say what people do not want to hear. I respect that because we never see anyone willing to actually do it. And take the heat for what they said, without trying to rephrase it or make excuses or blame. To simply stand up and say that they believe something and not back down to the masses. How many are willing to do that? So ignorant? She is in no way ignorant. Controversial...absolutely.

I am sorry I didn't make it very clear. It was late and I started thinking maybe I should get to bed...lol. I absolutely in no way would ever think it is ok to be TOW. If I were in that situation you can bet there would be some hard feelings. The only thing I was saying and I guess most came from some other posts (my fault for not clarifying that) is that it can be very beneficial and supportive to have a step parent at certain events which is the case for all of my children. My husband has never once thought that his ex's spouse should not be at the kids' events and actually my ex has never thought twice about my husband being at my childrens events and I think that is true in many other instances we have read on these posts. The opposite can apply also if the motivation is wrong. That is all I was saying about attending events and it wasn't directly related to the case with TOW. Again, I do not agree with adultry. I guess I copied too much when I was quoting TOS and then my comment about attending events led everyone to believe that I couldn't see why there would be tension and anger in that situation. My point being with the quote was more directed at the fact that TOS is apparently fasinated with message boards that involve step family situations because she admitted to being at another board that involved step families so not that I am trying to be a judge at what boards she visits but I am just curious as to why she seems to pick at things on these boards when we didn't do anything to her and we all just want a little support and advice (not that we have to agree with everyone) but maybe she could get passed some of the issues she has with step families if she visited more boards that were similar to her situation which is obviously not a blended family. It could help her immensely. I am trying to help I guess and make a suggestion to her. I am not saying I think she shouldn't be here at all but what is the attraction if she doesn't agree with anything here and what we are trying to do for each other? I am sorry for whatever it is that has caused such turmoil for her and my husband and I are pretty much in the same situation as far as paying for just about everything for all of our kids. I recieve a couple hundred dollars in CS from my ex for four kids and my husband pays over a thousand a month for his five while my ex holds a minimum wage job and his ex doesn't work. We just know that we have the satisfaction of the kids' success and happiness. When we look back when they are grown our reward will be just that....their happiness and knowing that we have nothing to be ashamed of. You know my 14 year old SS and I were just talking a few days ago and he told me that sometimes when parents remarry the kids are afraid that not only will the step parent not be good for the kids but the kids are also worried that person may not be good for their bio parent. He continuted to tell me that he is very lucky for who he has in his life. I simply said....thank you. It was from the mouth of a child who feels loved and blessed...I couldn't ask for more. Sorry this is long but I just wanted to make it a little more clear...sorry for the confusion. God Bless you all

It sounds like you are in a terrible situation. If the 17 and 19 year olds are behaving so badly, is the 14 year old soon to follow? And does your husband really think he is helping his kids by letting them get away with bad behavior? It has been a foundational belief of mine that to have real love you have to have respect. Your husband's kids don't respect him if they treat both of you the way you describe. Kids like to push their parents buttons and see what happens. They are obviously very unhappy or else they wouldn't act the way they do. Encourage your husband to try and view his kids as an outsider would. Then ask him what he sees. Maybe by doing this he can see that he isn't helping them by the way he handles the situation. Even if the kids break off some contact with him, he would be showing them that he doesn't accept the bad behavior, and he needs to gain their respect to have any influence over them in the future. Ask him if he would respect someone who he could walk all over and get away with it. I sure wouldn't! It sounds like you have invested substantial time and emotion into your relationship, and if you can stand it for a few more years, it would be worth it to try. Your husband has probably already lost the two middle kids if he keeps letting them get away with bad behavior. I think it is worth the risk for him to tell his kids to act right or he's not going to be around them. I would guess that their mom wouldn't want them around her all the time with their attitudes either, and they might get the message. You might also remind your husband that he has a 14 year old who is watching how everyone is acting and reacting, and that he has a chance to save his youngest from going down the wrong path like the 17 and 19 year olds. Good luck to you and your family.