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Posted by bonnie.garcia (My Page) on
Fri, Dec 17, 10 at 1:46

I finally realized the reason why I have been so reluctant to attend functions where BM would be is because I wanted to avoid her passive agressive behavior. Well, that used to bother me, but now I find it rather amusing that I get under her skin. I can't believe I ever let her make me feel that way. It is awful.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Realization

Bonnie, I'm glad that you can now see the humor in BM's behavior! I have a few friends who are great at finding amusement in bizarre antics of BM, and they help me feel so much better. It's always easier to deal with passive-aggressive people once you realize what they're up to, and just refuse to play their game anymore.

RE: Realization

I think this story was on this very forum:

One year at a family holiday dinner, somebody delivered one of the passive-aggressive double entendres for which she was famous.

She said something like,
"You look much nicer than usual in that furry coat. You remind me of my dog.",
& the poster beamed at her & enthused,
"Oh, *thank you*!
I'm so *flattered*!
I know how much you love your *dog*!"

said it took the wind right out of the snarky person's sails.

RE: Realization

That's how I feel about SM now and it has made such a difference in how I feel about myself when around her. I used to feel so insecure and worry what I looked like, if my hair was perfect ... Things like that.
It all started bc she said once, I like this new thing you are doing with your hair - it's so natural-like. I guess it's so hard to be a single mom and working full-time (while she was with exDH and taking my place as stay at home mom). Then once after having DS I had gained about 70 lbs and literally walked out if the hospital gaining 6 more ... She said, I have a great personal trainer if you wan his #. He works miracles. (while she stood in front of me in her size 4, 104 pounds) I of course never commented back but now I just realize she was doing this because she is so insecure with herself. Now that I have lost all that weight - I still wear my hair all'natural-like' and walk in with a smile and my DD and my amazing hubby on my arm, holding my head up high.

Glad you feel better too!!

RE: Realization

LOL, I love these stories!

It's funny but when I really started to like my SM was when she inserted her foot waaaay into her mouth. She'd always tried so hard to be saccharine sweet around us it was obviously fake and very off-putting. SM had her hair "frosted" and we were casually talking about it when I was a fairly young teenager. She was going on and on about her natural color being a horrible mousy light brown, drab, boring, wouldn't look good on anyone, just awful, and that's why she had her hair done. I asked her exactly what color it was because I was having a hard time picturing her with different hair, and she looked at me and said "Oh, pretty much the same color as yours".

As soon as the words came out, she turned this interesting shade of mint-green and looked absolutely appalled, and started stammering about how my hair color looked really good on me; it wasn't mousy at all, it was because of her complexion (which was the same as mine) that the color looked so bad on her. I couldn't help but to start laughing; it was so funny and I felt sorry for her because she was obviously so upset with herself. And that's when I truly started to like her - when she showed that she was not perfect but was just someone who was trying her best.

RE: Realization

I love this. I feel reassured by you ladies:)

Mattie, you give me hope. Maybe that will happen with me.

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