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jdw89

In Laws Inviting The Ex....

jdw89
15 years ago

My DH and I have been married almost 7 years. We have a "yours - mine - ours" situation with children. Over the years, I've had to endure my husband's family continuing to treat his ex wife as though she is part of the family. They have taken her and his kids on vacation without telling us. They have thrown birthday parties for the skids at their house--parties to which we were not invited (the ex wife and her entire family attended these). They have separate Christmas celebrations so she can attend. DH does his best to confront his parents about this, but to no avail. While it hurts my feelings, I have tried to ignore it. Recently, my MIL invited us to a family function. I found out later that she also invited the ex-wife. When DH asked her about this, she said she didn't think it was a big deal, so DH called the ex and asked her why she would think about attending. She said she was just going to "stop by for a minute" since MIL invited her. I cannot stand this woman, and while I can maintain a cordial demeanor in passing when I have to, there is no way I want to attend a family gathering with her. I told DH I would not be going and thought he was with me on this. I'm now getting the impression that he's just going to suck it up and go--and says that I should just show up after the ex leaves.

Am I being unreasonable here? I will be the first to admit that I don't have a fabulous relationship with his kids...but that doesn't mean I want to go and watch her "shuck and jive" with his family. For the record, my family would never in a million years invite my ex to a family function (or anything else for that matter). And if they ever did, I would not attend and would not expect DH to attend either. I feel like after all these years, it's time to take a stand, here. And since DH apparently isn't going to tell MIL he's not going, I'm thinking of telling MIL that while who she invites to her house is totally her decision, I don't feel comfortable attending.

Thoughts?

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