Husband Going Overboard

12 years ago

So if any of you read my posts of my strong dislike of my SD - I now have my husband posting cute little pictures on my facebook telling me to 'not let the little things bother me on such a family day as Thanksgiving' with a huge wink.

Rubbage.

I told him the other day that I have no issues with anyone within his family other than his daughter..nada. I do not wish to be around her for ANY reason, holiday or not. He can see her daily and can talk to her hourly for all I care - just don't include me in it. I truly don't care if anyone is sick or anything either when it comes to her. I've stood over hospital beds as she lay there dying - in her words - only to find out she's faking having a brain tumor.

At a get-together this Saturday his whole family is coming to a huge carry in. She will not be there...YEAH! I am overjoyed and of course she is crying to Daddy about how she knows he's all about family and wants him so sad about it.

My hubby is a huge family man...end all, be all family man. His idea is for our blended families to be standing together in a huge room with matching sweaters and smiling like lunatics like we're one huge happy family. Only that's not the case..his daughter has made it a living hell. She has disrespected not only me but my own daughter so my daughter has nothing to do with her.

So...if he would just stop the pushing I think he would soon realize I am not changing..cute pics on my Facebook or not. End of story.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

:)

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Comments (6)

justmetoo
12 years ago
I guess I don't understand what he's being a pain over. You're going this weekend to the family get together at his family. What else does he expect his little messages are going to get?

Yes, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a traditional 'family' day to celebrate one's blessings. You're celebrating with his family Saturday. You're going, planning on enjoying yourslef and being social and friendly with his family. So what more does he want?

He is not like actually thinking he'll butter you up and suddenly you'll find yourself desiring to run out, get groceries and cook dinner tomorrow for you, him and SD is he? Silly man.

So why is the SD not coming to her father's family get together Saturday? Was she invited? I realize if she were going you'd be staying home, but I'm just curious as to why she gets to miss the 'family' day and Dad is not nagging her?
catlettuce
12 years ago
I think it's time to un-friend your DH on FB.
~Cat
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silversword
12 years ago
L M A O

CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hopeful830
Original Author
12 years ago
First off - Happy Thanksgiving!!

His daughter is not coming to the get together due to a wedding she is attending of one of her friends. Thank God for that..

And yep...might be time for me to unfriend my DH..lol!! Good one!

And regardless of what DH thinks..there is nothing that will make me suddenly run like Julie Andrews towards his daughter in The Sound of Music to hug her on a hillside..if I am running towards her, it's with a huge mallot to bash her head in.

I think he pretty much is coming the conclusion I'm done with her. Sure hope so..he's getting ridiculous.

Have a great day and don't eat too much! :)
catlettuce
12 years ago
Oh Hopeful,
I went through this x100 with my DH when I finally had it and detached. He constantly tried to suck me back into the drama for a good year before he realized I was truly done with it. Stick to your guns. Life will get so much better for you.

Detaching for me meant seeing/socializing with my SS in holiday/grandson birthdays and sports situations ONLY and at a very minimal superficial level. Any talk of difficulties, financial or personal problems were referred immediately to DH and conversation ended.

It was tough going BUT now everyone is aware of my limits (don't go there with her, it won't work) and life is peaceful. Finally. Hang tough. We actually came through it with our marriage intact and better than ever. Ask anyone here that is certainly not what I was thinking and planning 2 years ago. You can only get treated badly for so long before you either break and cave in or break and tell them all to stuff it and get happy yourself.

-Cat
And PS: Yes I did unfriend DH on FB for similar reasons.. I am taking his recent friend request into consideration, but think we are friends enough IRL , Ha Ha!
catlettuce
12 years ago
And looking back I think spouses that are in the midst of a very dysfunctional relationship with adult kids or even adolescent at times I suppose have a keen interest in keeping their spouses hooked into the drama. I mean if everyone is participating in the enabling and rescuing then it can't be crazy...right?

When one person says " the jig is up" it forces it all back on the rescuer/enabler and in our case things really got intense when it was all on DH. He basically worked himself half to death supporting two households, for years until SS/gf/kids and animals finally moved out of his house.

My advice to you is to do what you are doing. Oh and counseling. I did quite a bit of counseling and co-dependents anonymous meetings, along with saving some $$ and buying my own home. All with everyone here cheering me on and kicking my butt when I deserved it. You can't make him stop doing what he is doing but you can definitely not be involved in it. It's your life too and you deserve to be happy. I sure see a lot of myself in your posts.

I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving as well.
-Cat

Husband Going Overboard

Comments (6)

justmetoo

catlettuce

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Husband Going Overboard

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justmetoo

catlettuce

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hopeful830Original Author

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