I realy dislike my my step child, may even hate him at times.
jayc2006
17 years ago
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bigmoebenz
8 years agolisaw2015 (ME)
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Thank heavens it was not actually my child this time.
Comments (27)Update on the note. I took it back to the teacher. I told her I knew who the girl was and knew the mom would really want to know this. Teacher said she would. But the teacher also said that this note really disturbed her and the only reason she told me about it was because she is a parent, otherwise she would have thrown it away. I told her that regardless of being a parent, anything that shows a child is in danger should be addressed. This was not just a kiss, this was more than playing doctor and hopefully the girl's parents can now stop an unwanted pregnancy from happening before it is too late. I think my thoughts came across as some crazed parent trying to hold back and control too much a child who needs to be able to grow. I did not intend to come across that way at all. Our dd is a very strong child. She has asked for our trust and some independence. Basically she has been given too much freedom and is not handling it as she had hoped she could. Pretty common for her age. The schools have also told us to sit back and let our kids try to learn to be responsible without our involvement. In doing so we have set back and watched our child plumet gradewise. At our conference the teachers all thought her grades were not all that bad. DH was appauled. A straight A student all of the sudden getting As on tests but totally failing all other assignments, not turning in a 160pt project, is not what we would consider "not that bad". She basically slipped by and now as parents we are stepping in to say enough is enough and want to help her get back on track. We are going to help her with whatever she needs to get back the grades she takes such pride in getting. Same with the social stuff. She has tried to handle it on her own. She needs guidance without being told what to do, advice so she can see her situation for what it is and make better choices. She has to learn that when she breaks the rules there are consequences and as parents we have to enforce them without being cruel. We are seeing a patern of rudeness, lying, stealing etc that is really out of her character and she knows it. She just does not know how to manage it. She is going to her 9th year in fastpitch softball with us telling her that we don't care how well she does, she is there to exercise and have fun and be with her friends- none of which go to her school. Twice a week she teaches a craft at her old daycare to the toddlers. They get so excited to see her and she really does have fun. The teacher has realized that she is not capable of picking the project and setting it up herself so the staff will assist her. But primarily my dd teaches it. I fixed my sewing machine and since I might gain weight with chemo, she and I decided to make sundresses together. We may invite a friend or two over also. She was very excited. My sis sews- degree in home ec- and I took dd over this weekend and dd was excited to see all the patterns and stuff. DH also is so starving to spend time with her. She is so outgoing and he wants her to kayak with her. She and I talked about her developing a greater bond with him and she knows it would be good for her. Basically I have a wonderful daughter who is growing up way faster than she can handle and she needs our help in doing so. The discussion about my making my boyfriend wait to earn a kiss actually came up because she asked me about kissing a boy and such. I openly talk to her and she does tell me more than some kids tell. I am so fortunate we can talk like that. As for smothering her and the camera stuff. We live in a spot that gives our front door acess to everyone walking by. This is a huge temptation even to kids that she does not know. Everyone knows where she lives. We have actually been telling her guy friends that they need to be honest and if they want to stop by they need to wait until we are home, same with the phone. Several have taken us up on this and dh and I greet them and let them know that respecting our home shows they are respecting our dd. The good ones get it, the bad ones just don't care. With my being home possibly through Oct/Nov we have the chance to help her get her schoolwork, social issues and such all in order. She is learning balance and it is not easy but she is learning. Again, hope I did not come across as too freaky....See MoreI hate my step son
Comments (39)I am not sure if anyone still reads these, I am just looking for a place to ask questions and vent, and sometimes I just need to hear the truth. I am in a relationship with a man who has a son. The son calls me mom, and we all live together in a house I bought a year ago. I am having a hard time finding anything to connect with with my stepson. He is 11, and ever since I've met him, he lies about everything. He lies to his father and I about silly things (what he ate or if he washed his hands) to not so silly (telling his real mom that he is made to do things he doesn't want to do). I first brought up the lying to his father because lying is something that is not tolerated in my life or in our house. I do not deal with lying. I made that clear to him and stepson. I set an example by always being honest and never lying. I know telling the truth hurts, but it is the truth. Stepson lies all the time, and his father will not discipline him. All he says is "lie again and I will bust your butt." He has told SS this countless times and he doesn't do it. Recently it got worse. He called one of his teachers at school a few choice bad words. We got a call from the school and we couldn't believe it. We knew he had outbursts like this at home, and dad never did anything about them (and I told him it was a matter of time before my SS would do it at school too), and now he is realizing that his idle threats aren't working. So his punishment for calling his teacher some bad words was... taking his Legos away! That is it! And I am an educator, and I find this very offensive, I would want my students to have more respect for me than my SS does for his teachers. I am having trouble bonding with my SS. I always make sure he is taken care of by having food, clean clothes, and a home that is welcoming. But I am having a hard time being close to him because I feel betrayed by his lies. He is rude and always in grown up conversations, he is messy and leaves clothes lying everywhere. He doesn't have any chores, just pick up your things. He doesn't do much but get home and play outside and make a mess inside, and lie. I know it is not his fault he is rude and disrespectful and lies all the time, but I am just having a hard time finding something to connect with him. I am an outgoing fun person and he is always a negative person who sees the worst in everything. I am trying to be positive, but knowing that any moment he will lie about me and say things to people about me, keep me away from him. I have no interest in bonding, just letting him be and letting me be. It is very hard on his father because he doesn't like to see us torn in a difficult relationship (SS and I), but he doesn't do anything to discipline his son. If you want people to like your son, then you must teach him to be respectful of others. We model respect, his father and I, and are actually truly very happy. I am just afraid that SS and I are growing farther apart and that will hurt his dad. I know that people will say "you knew he had a son before you lived together...." yes that is true but it is different when you see them everyday and have to live with their lies and meanness all the time. I don't have children of my own, just my SS, and I want to love him and like him, but it is just so difficult and draining on me....See MoreMy husband hates my kids...should I leave him
Comments (32)Iam going though the same thing. He complains about everything my daughters do. My 2 daughters 20 and 30 and my 7 Grandbaby. He does not talk to them for days. Every night when we go to bed he starts to bitch about them from they eat all the food, they r lazy and wht doesn’t my oldest get child support I tell him that is her business not ours. Well a couple week ago he told them to start paying rent 300.00 a each. They only make 9.00 my 20 pays To own car payment insurance and credit cards, my 30 old pays her bills and the day care bill of 400 a month. I told him they can’t afford that he don’t care and if they don’t like it they move out. He get mad if I buy anything for them. He says u always get defensive I tell I don’t I just don’t know why u treat them like that. They don’t disrespect you. In the other hand they stay in there rooms to not bother you. If they come to talk to me he starts asking wht do they want. He like making fun of my granddaughter( calling a cry baby) and my 20 (making fun of her weight)I tell him to stop and plays it off like I am kidding. Well two weeks ago my daughter told me she can afford the 300 she said I can afford 150. I thought buy telling her to go speak to her step dad he would listen and respect that she came to him and. It to me. I was listening to her explain the situation well he said that’s not my problem and just kept repeating it. Well she started crying and she told him. Why do u treat us like dirt. W you hve never like us and I hate the way u treat mom. Yes she did get load then I stepped in. He lost it and told to pack her stuff and get out. Then told me it’s them or me in front of her. She apologized to me saying she does not what to ruin my marriage. Well my girls r moving out at the end of the month but that is still not good enough. Now he is saying I don’t want them to come over. I was really. Now my son came to visit and he is telling me he is not staying here. I told him he is staying this week to help her sister with daycare. He was who gave him permission I was what. It turn into a huge fight. He said they do what ever they want to do. Mind me he has not spoken one work to him cause he is still mad at my youngest for the fight they had. He told if u don’t tell him to leave buy Sunday Iam going to. I was wtf. Those r my kids and this is my house. He said again Iam tried we should separate i was like look if that’s why u want go ahead. I know u hate my kids. He stayed quite and goes into the room and sulks. Iam i wrong for defending my kids. They have never disrespected him. Iam so over this fight with him....See MoreMy fianc�e hates my 20 month old son.
Comments (19)"Once her and I moved in she continued to work a part-time job and helped watch Hayden while I was at work. I never asked her to. I even brought up that I can get a baby sitter. She said "no". " I'm sure in the beginning she thought she could handle your son. Ten hours is a long time to be alone with a little child. He probably does normal toddler stuff that she just doesn't know how to handle. You admit yourself you know she's not ready for children, and yet you seem to think that a lightbulb will magically go off in her head the way it did for you. You seem to think that the same way you came around to the idea of being parent she'll do the same. When an unexpected child comes along, everyone reacts differently. Some people grow up, some don't. It sounds like your finance is not ready to grow up. Just because you came around and decided to be a father does not mean she will come around and want to be a mother. She might have thought she could handle it. Heck, if some guy told me I could live with him and all I had to do was work part time and watch his kid I'd say SURE!! But now she's realizing that taking care of the dogs is easier than taking care of a little toddler. It sounds like neither one of you have the courage to do what needs to be done, which is end the relationship. She probably doesn't want to leave because that means she'd have to take care of herself and start working full time. You probably don't want to end the relationship because - well - only you can answer that one, but I hope for your son's sake you start thinking with something other than what's between your legs....See Moresylviatexas1
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