SHOP PRODUCTS
Houzz Logo Print
pseudo_mom

brat

pseudo_mom
12 years ago

So yesterday mom is calling here because SD is in trouble at school for making a fake facebook account and bullying another kid at school, her and another friend did it over the weekend ... the other child's parents called the school are contacting the police regarding the matter.

while hubby is on the phone he asks SD did you blah blah she says yes so what ... he says its a big deal so then the boys chime in with their opinions its a big fiasco .... I was pretending to be asleep so as not to include myself with their parenting decisions ... hubby tells her no electronics ... she says so what. Her district has no school today ... last night I said to hubby she has to go with you today or she is going to pick a fight with me tomorrow he says he can't well mom better be around to come get her because I will not be very tolerant of her tomorrow.

The boys go off to school (different district mom lives less than a mile away but its a different town) hubby off to work ... I head to my room a half hour later I can hear her on my comp in the living room ... I come out and say no electronics and close it she opens it back up so I take it away and put it in my room ... she goes into my room and takes it back out ... I said no you are not using my comp ... she then says you're not my parent you're right I am not ... her response oh where are your parents oh thats right they're dead ... I answer yes they are and christmas is coming neither of which matters right now... so now trying to turn on my cell to call dad but first it has to load all the text messages etc... in the mean time she is calling me an idiot why don't you mind your own business as she is standing in my doorway of my bedroom guessing I was supposed to cower and say here have the comp... you can't tell me what to do .... I said well I could just talk to you like your parents do would that make you happy ....

Hubby finally answers I tell him whats going on ... he says smack her in the mouth for talking like that to you ... I said smacking her would be too easy she says well I'll have you arrested I reminded him I told you yesterday she was going to pull this BS and play victim like she has done nothing wrong! I then told hubby I am giving you a courtesy call because if she keeps it up I will call the police and have her removed ... and hung up the phone he called back a few minutes later while she is still screaming at me from her room ... to tell me her mother is on the way ... 5 minutes later mom shows up.

No one can tell her anything ... she should have no rules and be able to do whatever she wants poor thing has anxiety ... but its ok for her to threaten another kid.

I told her the jab about my parents being dead doesn't bother me, I would rather them be dead then have to witness you talking to me like this ... my parents would be embarrassed for me same as your parents are embarrassed of you ... no they are not she says .. oh yeah they are so proud of their daughter bullying someone makes them feel so special! proves what great parents they are.

I did get a screw you as she was walking out the door ... atleast she acknowledged she was leaving :)

only 1861 days to go!!

Comments (16)

  • momof3_stepof1
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    There is NO WAY I could live like you do. I'm afraid I would've slapped her.... not sure I couldn't stopped either. You were right to do as you did. You are very strong to stand your ground and to stand up to your dh like that.

  • Amber3902
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    ((((Pseudo))))

    You're right she is a brat! And shame on your husband for leaving you to have to deal with this!

    Stories like this make me glad I did not move in with my exBF.

  • Related Discussions

    New Iris - Brat

    Q

    Comments (11)
    prettypetals, I have way with the voles. I have bought several products (and have one on order from Gardensupply) but the bait stations have been the most productive. I lost three rose bushes, and one daylily and a very well established butterfly bush to them. The neighborhood cats have discovered the beasts, and I see several different cats at times, but Ive seen only a couple of new tunnel entrances this season. Jean, Hooray for the cat! Yes, our cat delivers them to the front door too. Rita and ngraham, The iris show should start very soon...there are lots of bud spikes up. Julia, I never have daylilies until the iris are almost through. The foliage is the most lush it has ever been, though. Thank you all for looking. kay
    ...See More

    My kid is a brat: College-aged kids and manners?

    Q

    Comments (75)
    So happy for you judithn...took me back to when my kids were in college in our city, but living on campus. Sounds like a great conversation, and something she needed to hear, and you were able to do it in such a way that she really listened, and matured enough to apologize. You obviously have a great daughter, there, and now you have practice for when your son leaves home...heh heh!! We Moms have to support one another...our kids are in their early 40's, so a lot of this type of thing is behind us, but there are always things to work out. We do have very thoughtful children now...they just weren't so much at your daughter's age!!
    ...See More

    Anyone heard from that Brat, Kat?

    Q

    Comments (1)
    Ruthie, I'm with you---get back here BRAT! It was sooo nice to meet her! Donna (^_^)
    ...See More

    Spoiled Brat?

    Q

    Comments (44)
    Chisue, you bring back memories! Many years ago, I used to have lunch with friends at Steak & Ale every payday. One of 'the girls', Debbie, weighed about 90 pounds soaking wet, but she ate like a truck driver. Steak & Ale had the most wonderful bread: small loaves, supposedly made right there in the restaurant, hot from the oven, fragrant as my grandmother's kitchen, with real butter served on the side. Debbie always carried her big old hobo purse on payday... & kept calling for more bread. We all hoped the staff didn't notice, & we pretended we didn't notice, but one day our waiter said to her, "You know you can have all the bread you want. You don't have to hide it in your purse."
    ...See More
  • pseudo_mom
    Original Author
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Sadly ... she is so predictable ... just wish her parents could/would see it ... everyone else has SD's all figured out but her parents hubby included are still trying to find the good in her ... I guess they have to believe she can't be as bad as everyone says ... they have to have some kind of hope to cling too.

    As soon as he said no school today for her I knew it was going to be a battle ... only took a half hour, let her hang out with her loving mom for the day ...

    I took the antenna from her tv when she left ... guessing dad forgot that was "electronic" ...

  • mattie_gt
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "I guess they have to believe she can't be as bad as everyone says ... "

    Pseudo, what are the video/audio recording laws in your state? Because I think I just might have to install some "nanny-cams" around the house if I were you, until I had some episode like that one to show DH. Would it help, d'ya think?

    I would absolutely refuse to be alone with that brat - ever. Because I've got to agree with Mom of 3, I would have had great difficulty in restraining myself from slapping her.

  • imamommy
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Oh pseudo.... I don't know how you do it! Calling her a brat is being too nice.

    I can't believe your DH is still expecting YOU to put up with & be around her. So far, my SD wouldn't dare talk to me like that. I think she's afraid of me... or at least has no idea if I would slap her or what I'd do. Once they know what you'll do (or not do), well... she doesn't care now, she's been allowed to talk to you like that. But when it comes to her saying she doesn't care about the consequences, don't believe her when she says she doesn't care... she does. I know my SD throws around the "I don't care" attitude, shrugs and says I don't care... but she does care about some things... you just need to figure out what it is that she cares about. But then again, her defiance in abiding by any boundaries are a bigger problem & her parents have not set boundaries for her or towed the line with her. Yep, the best place for her is with her mommy. Dad should refuse to take her when he is not going to be home to deal with her.

  • pseudo_mom
    Original Author
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Mom said it was because SD stopped taking her meds when she started feeling better ... I told mom and dad they need to stop making excuses for her behavior and start reacting.

    I said well she's not my kid so I should not have to put up with her rudeness how would like her throwing your dead relatives in your face everytime she didn't get her way?

    Mom told her no tv at dad's, she asked when she could get it back ...I answered I don't know my dead parents are enjoying it right now.

    Her birthday in in a few weeks ... 2 days before all this I had ordered something for her ... it will be here in a couple days ... I think I am just going to return it or give it to my niece whose birthday is the day before. Not sure yet.

    No school tomorrow :( ... and I have to work tomorrow night( on no school days I try to work during the day rather than at night) hubby is taking the day off if he has to leave she will go with him or call mom to take her for the day .... we will see if that actually happens.

    I really think she wants me to smack her somedays while else would she say these things ... she is looking for a reaction keeps telling the nurse and guidance office she wants to be in a foster home. I am sure she will come in today nice as pie (bi-polarish) because in her world she did nothing wrong!

  • imamommy
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I stopped buying anything for SD. I am the type that when I am out shopping, I'll see something on sale (especially clearance) & want to find a reason to buy it... and since my kids are grown, I have no reason to buy the cute dresses for little girls or baby stuff. But since marryihg DH, I used to come home all the time with some great finds... stuff I thought was cute & got it cheap. Also, I'd buy her toys & things for her birthday & Christmas because DH wants to get her practical things & well, he is basically a cheap ass. (always saying he is broke, has no money) So, for years I have bought for her to make up for her parents not doing anything for her... also making her birthday parties, etc. Then, since she has done nothing but complain about me to her mom & grandma... and since the things I have bought her seem to disappear... either she loses them, they get torn up right away or she "forgot" where she put them... I have to assume she doesn't want the things I buy her. Not going to waste my money, time or effort on someone that rejects it. I feel bad for her but she has made her decision on how she is going to treat me & how she wants her life to be. I won't hold my breath for her to change. (even last year when I saw that DH only bought her a few presents for Christmas that no kid would get excited over.. clothes & a new comforter, I went out at the last minute & got her a bunch of toys that she loved... of course, she thanked DH for them & at that point, I decided to not tell her that I got them for her. Otherwise, she may have cast them aside & I would have felt I wasted my money & time. But, this year I may buy her a gift but I am not stepping in to make DH look better or try to make up for her parents not doing what she wants them to. It's funny that I get a little sad when I pass the girls department & see things I would love to buy... but my little girl is grown & I will just have to wait until I have a little granddaughter to spoil. For now, I spend more time in the baby boy section of the store finding cute things for DGS.

    I think it's funny/sad that she is asking to be in a foster home. Doesn't she understand that foster kids live where they are placed, not necessarily in a place that they will enjoy. In fact, they sometimes get moved around a lot & have to adapt to several different lifestyles. To me, that was something I couldn't let happen to DGS. If I hadn't stepped up, he would be in the foster care system.

    lol, I don't know if SD is bi polar but she too acts weird. She hasn't talked to me in three days, got in the car this morning & we drove 7 miles to her bus stop & she sat there with a sour look on her face until we got to the stop & she changed into a bouncy, bubbly, happy mood & cheerfully said "hope you have a great weekend!". I was unprepared & didn't say anything except "you too." but I am guessing that she wanted to be told to have a great weekend, like someone actually cares if she does or not. Kinda like telling her mom "I love you" just so her mom will say it back to her.... cause we all know, he mom sure doesn't SHOW it. It is all really sad.

  • justmetoo
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm a bit horrified that these parents are still in denial and making excuses here. The Dh has seen first hand what this kid does to you and now she is bullying other children at school via the internet. That's serious stuff.

    If somebody does not get a grip on this girl she's going to be doing more than a few days inpatient eval...she's going to be doing juvy.

    The BM needs held responsible for letting the girl fall off her meds also. No excuses. The meds take time to build up in the body as it is and to stop taking them competely after just a couple weeks because 'she felt better'. Unbelieveable. I don't care if the girl's mother/father have to hunt her down every morning, sit on her, hold her nose with one hand andpop the pill in her mouth with the other to get her meds down her throat. When does the brat go back to drs to see how the meds are working? Dr who prescribed should be reseeing her to see how the meds are doing, if they need adjusted blah blah. Perhaps it is not the 'right' med she even needs or she needs a cross of several. While some meds can begin to work a bit for some people after a couple weeks, real results can take a couple months.

    Her little stunt using your computer almost makes me wonder if she is not deliberately trying to get you to smack her. In this girls immature mind she might think she can get rid of you, send you off to jail and be done with the one lady who refuses to play her game. You're not 'afraid of her'. You don't let her rile you. She can't manipulate and/or fool you. IDK, but she is one out of control kid and her parents are going to have to wake up and do something productive in treating her or this kid is going to really hurt somebody one way or the other. I've read enough headlines about victimized bullied children to last me a lifetime. There is NO EXCUSE for it. There is NO EXCUSE for the crap she hands out to you either. Her little thought of living in a foster home is a fantasy...where she'll be going is either a state mental institution or a locked cell in the juvenile center.

  • incognitomom
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    You deserve some kind of award for not beating that child or her parents!! My grandma always says she doesn't know who to hate more....a child that acts that way or the parents who raised the child to act that way.

  • pseudo_mom
    Original Author
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I used to be the same way IMA buy something because it was on sale (kills me to walk buy and not buy certain things) .... then when mom got custody I stopped doing that and only bought for birthdays and christmas...because mom would tell the boys she didn't have to buy/pay for anything for them because she didn't have custody of them so she wasn't financially responsible for anthing for them ... and with SD everything I bought went to mom's like she bought it... so I started buying things that couldn't easily be transported ... but she figured out ways to get them there .... even sheets blankets pillows she took to mom's she still doesn't have a pillow case only bought her a pillow because it was $2.50 hahaha. I still buy stuff for the boys and when SD asks how come she didn't get something she gets told because everything I buy ends up at mom's so let mom buy it for you its not like she buys stuff and it comes here .... she doesn't buy stuff for here so why should we buy stuff for her house.

    I ordered a Northface coat for her birthday ... expensive but atleast I would see it again if it went to moms :)

    Not privy to when she goes back to drs.

    They see it, know how she is but "what can they do about it" she has anxiety! poor thing!

    If mom takes away electronics she will have to interact with her have her under her feet ... we have a smaller home so the only escape for us is if SD is in her room but without electronics she is in the living room aggrevating everyone catch 22 .... but I work nights so she is not bothering me as much! :)

    She wants to have me arrested to show she has more power than me ... but the cop told her :) it would be a vacation for me rather than dealing with a bratty 12 year old.

    Mom created this and can't stand her ... calls her lovely names constantly to her face to others on the phone with whoever. Mom had to feel needed so she twisted her daughter into believing she was the only one who cared about her and now her mother treats her like an inconvenience ... mom does nothing for any of them unless it helps promote her as being mother of the year .... look at the stuff my kids have, look at the stuff I do for my kids ...etc. ... put a stop to behavior she doesn't like, no way but yell at them for hours after the fact sure thing ...belittle them and make fun of them for hours like its family game night.
    Hubby will apologize for his daughter and such ... and he is catching on and will say to the mom I hope they/she can't hear you even though he knows the kids heard it for an hour before she got on the phone with him ...

    I have to bite my tongue alot because she is his daughter ... sometimes he takes it to heart when I point out her failures like they are all his fault

    1857 days to go :)

  • dotz_gw
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Hi Pseudo, I am so sorry for your troubles...My question is, how do you stand it? 1857 days , I cant imagine lasting that long. Do you ever think of leaving your husband, just to be free of the girl? I dont think your sanity is worth this amount of stress..

  • momof3_stepof1
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Northface jackets are NICE.... NO WAY does she deserve that PERIOD!!! Take it back!

    Our BM does the same.... buys stuff to look like mom of the year... but she hasn't bothered to see him in 2 months or send any support. &itch! My ss is 11 and I'm seriously hoping he doesn't develop any issues because of this tramp. He was starting to have issues before we got custody but he seems for the most part to be ok. He definitely has his moments but all kids do.

    I wonder the same as dotz, do you ever consider leaving dh? I don't think I could stand it if my dh didn't immediately take care of those issues.

  • pseudo_mom
    Original Author
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    If I thought for a hot second she would change because I was gone I would do it in a heartbeat .... I am no where as stressed as I used to be about this kid .... I have disengaged fairly well.... and a lot easier than I thought it would be .... I am the biggest tattle tale when it comes to SD the minute she starts I am calling someone to deal with her ..... if they do not respond they way I want them to I call the police :) her parents do not want her arrested for being defiant so mom saves her or daddy comes home...

    He has promised me the day she turns 18 that she will not be coming to my home she has been told don't care what anyone has to say about that ... if I have to put up with her through this there has to be a end in sight and thats it 1856 days :)

  • catlettuce
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Gawd! this is horrible Pseudo! I think your DH should spend his time elsewhere with his kid, not in your home. It's just to much. I really, REALLY regret putting up with all that crap as long as I did.

    But now it's "my" house. No kids will be moving in unless it's my son. I mean he's grown and all but you know what I mean. That your DH even expects you to deal with this in anyway is incredible. What is up with the husbands? They just don't have a clue sometimes.
    Big hugs to you,
    -Cat

  • pseudo_mom
    Original Author
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Last Monday SD and dad had a big argument ... he made her go to her room then stood in the doorway while she rambled on how he was abusing her by making her stay in her room .... told her if she couldn't follow the rules she wasnt welcome here anymore .... 20 mins later mom came to get her ... she hasn't been back since ...

    I can't tell you how nice it is to come home and not have to worry what is going to set SD off today ... she isn't here to worry about

    Last christmas mom did not buy any of them anything for christmas because her bf had just bought a house in August so she bought them all new bedroom sets decorated their bedrooms etc. so she told them that was their christmas gift .... I am taking IMA's idea and just buying her one gift nothing special ... the coat I returned and ordered a different size for me ... :)

    I have been doing black friday for 20+ years ... I will do it again this year but looking for stuff for myself and hubby .... the boys no clue what to get kids who have everything or have already lost it . SS14 recently lost his 2nd IPOD he might be getting clothes :).

  • imamommy
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "looking for stuff for myself and hubby .... the boys no clue what to get kids who have everything"

    This year, I am buying my kids and DGS only one or two things because I buy DGS stuff all the time, I have no room for more & he doesn't NEED anything but my daughter and I picked a few names off a tree at the library & I bought a cartload of stuff for my 'tree kids'. I love shopping for little girl stuff & since I have DGS, I'm always shopping for boy stuff. I had a blast shopping for her.... the irony is that she has the same name as SD but she is only 3. I also belong to a support group for people raising a relative's child. They are having a Christmas party & I am donating linens & china so they can have an elegant party... and may chip in for gifts to all the kids. It's such a good feeling to donate.