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sminnj

Treading Thin Ice

sminnj
15 years ago

Just when things seem to be smoothing over and are going great and everyone gets along.....something else happens...

DH and BM split when SD(8) was 3. He has not had her for one single Thanksgiving since then. They share X-mas. (Although he never gets xmas eve or morning) So this year he proposed that they switch off every other Thanksgiving and switch off every other X-max Eve/Morning. The parent that has Thanksgiving is not the one to get Xmas Eve. So BM quickly agreed that was fair and a good idea. Thanksgiving rolls around and BM calls at about 12p saying it was the first year she had not had daughter for Thanksgiving and could she have her for dinner at her Dad's at 2:30....since we were eating at 5. DH said no, because he didnt want her to have to eat 2 meals and they already agreed he would have her this year. So of course she started crying and hung up. She called back to talk to DD and told her that 2 of her cousins from another state were up visiting. Of course the child wants to go see her cousins but sulked in her room for a couple of hours instead cause she could not go.

I guess BM's plan was to have DD cry to her Dad that she wanted to go with her Mom to see her cousins. It bothers me so much that she has to do these things and use DD to get what she wants and hurting DD in the process. And she doesn't even see it.

DH gets her on Wednesday nights and every other weekend starting on Friday thru Sunday night. On the BM's weekend, the child stays overnight at her Grandpa's house on Friday and on her Grandma's house on Saturday. So her Mom drops her off on Friday and doesn't see her again until Sunday afternoon. I asked SD why she doesn't stay at her mom's on Saturday and she said because Saturday is her her mom's night to "go out on the town". Keeping in mind so now she sees her kid not at all on the weekends. DH asked her today if she is going to use a "babysitter" he would like to be the first person called. She said she would rather not because then he could get his child support lowered since DD would be with him more days of the week.

I pretty much stay out of it....giving my opinion when asked....but it drives me nuts seeing the way this child is treated by her mother. For the past 3 weekends that we have had her, on Sunday when we get ready to take her back to her mom's she has expressed that she did not want to go and would rather stay at her Dad's. There are other issues at home with her Mom that are a completely different story....

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