Return to the Stepfamily Forum | Post a Follow-Up

Really need advice

Posted by raenicole08 (My Page) on
Tue, Nov 27, 12 at 1:20

Im new to this board but I would really appreciate some advice on my situation. Ill try to make a long story short.

I have been dating my fiance on and off for about 3 years now. While we were "off" he had a one night fling and got the girl pregnant. They both decided early on they didnt want to be together. I was devastated but later decided to get back with him. Him leaving for basic training and other factors led to this. Fast forward a few months and the baby is 2 months old. We both decide we want a baby. I was babyfied and Im pretty sure he didnt want to lose me again. We now have a 10 month old little girl.
Now I find myself in a situation where im not bonding well with his son. The weekends when we have him are very stressful and im growing more jealous of him as time goes on. I feel like I have no place in the family when we have his son, especially when were around my fiances side of the family. Needless to say this is causing more tension between my fiance and I. I have been thinking about leaving him for a while now. I feel that if I cant be a good step parent then there is no way for our relationship to work out. But I also dont want my daughter to grow up with separated parents. Yes, I realize this is mainly my fault for a huge lack of judgement in my decisions. Im asking for any advice anyone can give. Is there a way to work things out or should I accept the fact that im not able to be a step parent? I have considered counseling but im not sure how much good that would do. TIA

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Really need advice

"I feel like I have no place in the family when we have his son, especially when were around my fiances side of the family."
Have you articulated this (calmly) to your fiance? Why do you feel this way- what do they do? What would you like them to do? Do they ignore your daughter?- after all, she's related to them as well.
I think counselling could give you the chance to work your ideas through one way or the other, worth trying before throwing in the towel as you seem to be thinking. It's good that you recognise there's a problem, and that's a big first step.

RE: Really need advice

Definitely agree with family counseling. Many bases have low-cost availaible

 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!

Return to the Stepfamily Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.

Learn more about in-text links on this page here